Tribute:

Sam de Silva: the quintessential gentleman

Defining the quintessential noble is never easy, but Sam de Silva makes it so. He was, to me, the embodiment of all that is noble and good in a human being.

I first got to know Uncle Sam through his son, Aravinda, and I mean Aravinda my friend and not the cricketer.

Uncle Sam and I quickly established a close rapport and he remained one of my closest friends until his demise last week. My friendship with Uncle Sam was so strong that I used to spend most of my Friday and Saturday evenings with him back in the old days.

This often prompted Aravinda to make fun of me, wanting to know how I could spend my Fridays and Saturdays with someone much older than me: even his son found it difficult to comprehend the bond we shared.

Sam had the unique ability to relate to people of all ages, from all walks of life and, more importantly, he always stood by his friends, particularly in times of crisis.

It is said that the best time to figure out who your friends are is when the chips are down. Well, that's exactly when Sam was always around. You could count on it - he was always there when you needed someone! I once went through a very bad time and, without my even asking him, Sam gave me his vehicle to use until I got my own. From time to time, Sam would come around to borrow the vehicle and it was only much later I learnt that his reason for doing this was to fill it up with petrol.

That was just one of the unique qualities that made him so special.

Sam was extremely proud of his two children. When I visited him the Sunday before he died, from the way he spoke with me, I knew he had already made his peace with destiny; he was ready to accept the inevitable.

He told me how happy he was about what he had achieved in his life and proudly said he had produced a son who was the best batsman in the world and a daughter who was competent enough to hold her own anywhere.

I recall how before each match that Aravinda played, recognising human frailty, Sam would go to Bellanwila, asking for divine assistance in the task his son was set to accomplish.

I would often accompany Sam on these occasions. It was Sam who, as a father, helped Aravinda to understand and utilise his true potential to the fullest. Sam believed that in life, all one had to do was to be brave and the rest would follow.

He was a dedicated Buddhist and remained true to the intrinsic tenets of Buddhism all his life. I went to see him again on Tuesday, little knowing I would never see him alive again.

He held my hand for a long while. In my heart I knew he was saying his goodbye, but even then, I still hoped against hope that it was not true. My mind said I had to accept it but my heart did not want to.

How does one accept that one of your closest friends must leave you for pastures unknown, that the unassuming must pass into the unknown - Sam was a self-made man - he set many goals for himself and unerringly achieved every single one of them.

Sam de Silva was a popular personality not because he was Aravinda's father but because he was a rare human being. He always went that extra mile for people, was always able to walk in their shoes. His time management was unique. He exuded tremendous energy, had amazing endurance; better still, helping people was his raison d'etre.

His two grandchildren, Sathya and Sampras comprised the .proverbial light of his life; he adored them and remained very proud of every little thing they accomplished. Sam celebrated life; he loved the joy of life and living but remained in essence a simple man.

When I was Aravinda's flat-mate, I once heard them having a huge argument, with Sam screaming his head off and it was all because he was trying to convince Aravinda that he wanted a small car and not the Volvo that Aravinda had got him. If Sam lacked anything it was patience, but his sterling qualities more than made up for it.

Sam was every man's friend and the crowds who flocked to pay their last respects to him testified to this - from the trishaw drivers, supermarket cashiers, to the corporate giants, world renowned cricketers and the man on the street, he was known and loved by all.

When the epitaphs have all been written about this man among men, one will surely remain, and I'd like to quote E.B. White on John F. Kennedy: "It can truly be said of him as of few men in like position, that he did not fear the wind nor trim the sails, but instead challenged the wind itself to improve its direction and cause it to blow more softly and more kindly over the nation and its people."

You will be greatly missed, Uncle Sam. May your gentle soul rest in peace.

Krishantha Prasad Cooray.