Anuki’s Diary

Dear Lovers,

Is it over?

Once me and my boyfriend had a disagreement. I remember in both incidents that I jumped in and asked whether ‘it’s over’? In the first incident his answer was calm and kind, ‘no’ it’s not. In the second incident when I asked him the same question he just kept silent. I was sad, felt weak and started getting into my own conclusions.

When I met him next day, both our minds were fresh, so we decided to have a heart to heart chat. Like all our tendencies, perfection, perfectionism has deeper, unexpected roots. Sometime it betrays a hidden fear.

For example I may be thinking in an unconscious way, if I am imperfect, we may not ever be able to go ahead or there may be some all-or-nothing logic hiding beneath my surface thoughts.

Sometimes I secretly think (but rarely admit) that if I do not be a perfect lover that I would lose him. At the same time a little voice from my heart ask is it necessary to be perfect to work out a relationship? “It may well be that my driveness for perfection is simply my way to stop being rejected”.

Afterward, I secretly and lovingly resolved never again to repeat the same mistake or to use a phrase like “is it over” with my partner. Because he made me understand that ‘failures are just learning experiences in a relationship’. The only real failure is the one from which we have learned nothing.

We girls may be emotional but guys are sensitive too. We say it loud and they are good at bottling up (which they should not). Dear lovers, as long as there is a better understanding than yesterday with your partner, a relationship will not be ‘over’.

INTIMATE INTERVIEW

Name: Jayantha Rathnayake

What is love?

It’s a sacrifice

How can we tell if it’s love, just a crush or any other temporary feeling?

At the beginning it’s just a crush and then turn into a strong feeling. At that point lovers would realise the true bond they have with one another which will end in marriage.

How can we know if it’s going to last; feelings do change isn’t it?

Yes, feelings do change but with true love you will feel the difference. Even if the feelings would change it would be to the better side.

Should a person look for love, wait for love or totally ignore it?

One should wait for love.

When was your first love?

When I was 25. I met her in my record bar and today she is my wife.

What is that you love most in your wife?

I loved and still love the way she smiles.

Which one do you prefer most: to love or to be loved?

I would love to love my life partner.

Would you still go out with your friends who are girls?

No I will not. I was brought up in a Sinhala, Buddhist environment and do value our culture and traditions very much.

Love lines:

Fairy Tale

All the fairy tales
I read as a child
Began with the words
“Once upon a time”
Ended with the line
“They lived happily ever after”
As a young woman
I dreamt of love
My knight in shinning armour
Then he came into my life
Made me deliriously happy
Only for a short while
A wicked witch
Cast a spell on him
My prince turned into a frog
Now I sit by the window
Even she does it in every morning,
So as my love for him....

-Anusha Jayasiri-

**********

If I were

If I were a bird....
I’ll fly to you
When I want to see you

If I were the wind
I’ll be with you at once
Whenever you need me....

If I were the sunlight
I’ll be what you see early morning
Giving you all the energy....

If I were the rain
I’ll fall on you and touch your heart
To make you relaxed....

If I were the night
I’ll be the dream you see
The happiest dream you ever will see....

If I were the candle you light
I’ll light your life, my love
Being with you forever and ever.

-Chodna Dantanarayana