Tips for revising your writing

Many young writers think of revision as all hard work and drudgery. But revision is more than just a way to fix a broken piece of writing. It’s also a way to honour a good piece and make it even better. Here are some ideas to experiment with:

 ?Change the beginning: experiment with different kinds of leads. You might try sound effects, or an intriguing first sentence.

?Change the ending: may be a circular ending, for example, or a surprise ending might work best for your writing.

?Add a section. Have you left out something important?

?Remove/delete a part. A piece of writing is like a rose bush—it grows healthier after you prune the unnecessary parts.

?Revise for voice. Are there places in the writing where you stop sounding like you and start sounding like someone else?

?Change the order. You don’t have to tell the story in the order it happened. Try starting in the middle, or try starting at the end and flashing back to the beginning.

?Change the genre. The story you are working on might work better as poem, an information piece, or a letter.

?Change point of view. Try telling the story through the “He” or “She” point of view, instead of the more common “I”.

?Change the tone: make it funnier, more sarcastic, more serious.

?Change the tense: from past (“I walked in to the house”) to present tense (“I walk into the house”), for example.

?Slow down the “hot-spot” or crucial moment of the story using dialogue, emotion, and frame-by-frame detail.

?Break a big topic (All About My Family, for example) into chunks or chapters. Think of each chunk as its own piece of writing.

www.ralphfletcher.com

The language twis

To dye or to die

By Anwarul Aynaaz Zaneefer

Alarmed at the silver streaks which was quite visible in a few of my tresses, I hastened toward the washroom, with a packet of ‘henna’ and an old toothbrush, bumping on to him as I tried to dash ahead and my seven year old, wanted to know why I was in a hurry. Without elaborating, I told him in plain language, I was going to ‘dye’.

Immediately after spilling that doubled meaning word, I knew what a grave mistake I had made. In actual fact I had really confused him. I could see his baffled face and his tiny mouth opened wide. In an instant, I had made my son miserable. Cross at my own rashness, I immediately sat with him (my Henna experiment forgotten for the moment) and explained to him the difference between dye and die. I didn’t exactly clarify ‘die’, in depth...nonetheless he was convinced...and me? Wasn’t I reassured when I saw his toothless grin...!!!

On the whole, children still cannot grasp the meaning of some of the words used by adults. Hence we have to be careful with our phrasing when dealing with children. Employing simple and uncomplicated expressions make it easier for them to comprehend the language. At times, words which have two meanings should be used with great care where they are concerned.

If we notice our child to be disturbed over something we have said, let us make sure to rectify the problem immediately, by doing this there wouldn’t be any room for misunderstanding.Children every now and then, pick up a specific word by listening to adults conversations, although they may not know the meaning or the gravity of it, they try to apply it in their vocabulary; it is then the duty of the parents to let them know whether it is appropriate to use it in that context. They should not be reprimanded but have to be told in the kindest possible way which word is appropriate and which is not.

Kids often take us by surprise, like the other day at home, during bedtime (which is usually quiz time) when my two young sons drilled me for the umpteenth time. I must confess that I am consistently at a loss for words, in the midst of these two, for often, they pose questions intended for Martians!!! However, on this particular night, the older of the two, wanted to know, “Why people die?” Just imagine the plight I was in? Now...How would I define ‘die’ in the proper sense to my seven year old, whom I had already scared the wits out (during my Henna trial). How-so-ever after a thorough brain wrecking session, I gave him a kind of a structured reply by saying “someday, people grow old, someday, they become sick and someday, they eventually die” (I didn’t have a better response than this) and he, like an obedient student quietly took in, what he had just heard. And then all of a sudden looked me in the eye and said, “Then...how come??? YOU didn’t?” Didn’t he bowl me over, with that witty remark? Recalling that moment, today, it brings me a great sense of pride, to realize the immense pleasure our kids bring into our ever strenuous lives, even if it is sometimes, not a pleasant thing to hear.

Children look to their parents for everything and see them as role models. Bearing this in mind, we have to set good examples at all times whether in speech or in action, for they often imitate what they see and repeat what they hear. Parents should endow them with an extensive range of good books; help them read and make them understand. Motivating them, to ask questions based on their storybooks and textbooks, to heighten their confidence in their communication and comprehensive skills.Being a bystander in the initial perplexity of the’ dye or die’ hullabaloo, my youngest, (whenever he sees a packet of Henna in my hand) very solemnly pronounces, “Mummy’s old and she is going to die’.

He’s four now and has just entered kindergarten. Thus, I’ll encourage him to learn new skills in his class. Perhaps I’ll wait for another year to go by, to undo the tangle and teach him, the difference between ‘dye’ and ‘die’!!! And then, probably in a few more years, when he really comprehends the whole situation...wouldn’t I be relieved to hear him say “Mummy’s grey, so she’s going to dye...”!!!

Incidentally, my hair ‘dye-ing’ - scheduled a few hours from now - is going to be simply enchanting, for my snoopy ‘foursome’, who are in eternal anticipation to know how those silver streaks disappear every time I touch the hair with my magical wand (the old toothbrush of course!!!)

As a consequence, it will be demonstrated with out much ado, to the delight of my enthusiastic audience.n

The error

My life is now beginning,
To fall apart,
With the dim hope dying,
While I feel overwhelmed,
Under the crushing humiliation,
Of my gigantic error......
A long cherished secret love,
The deepest desire,
The loveliest hope,
Now being the futile labours of perseverance,
Pours pain into my puerile heart,
Burning in the flame of shame.....
‘How did all this happen?
Why did I love her?’
To myself I silently repeat,
The questions,
Never to be answered!

Jayashantha Jayawardhana
 

Memorandum

It’s coming close again- that date that I was born
No cake this time I promised myself
For cake has made me think
What I celebrate for
Leave it out, what should I do?
Negating the celebration, there’s nothing left to do.
Pondering on the vacant space taken by the cake
Think back the past or design for the future?
Debilitations
How poignant the cake could be, eh?
To take so much of that day, that comes but once a year
This time I thought to meditate for the next
That at least by then I’d have figured out
What to do not cut the cake
One year-
To rub out the cakes wasted over the years...
I do not know why
But the cake’s out of mind...

Krishanthi Anandawansa
 

Peace is sacrifice

There’s no take, only give,
If one really needs happily to live;
Give in both ways, take in neither;
One’s give makes take for the undemanding other.
Woman to man and man to woman;
Workman to master and master to workman;
Ruler to the ruled and the other way round,
Peace is nothing but sacrifice unbound!

Bandara Samarakoon

The light burden

Seeking the cover
Of leafless shrubs
Shrubs with thorns.
You took the return
More than I
So violently, so violently.
You, aback mad with T56;
“Mad” because
You saw “All”
All down and only YOU and Me.
One last shrub....
That didn’t cover you right
Made you a burden.
My dear
COMRADE,
My shoulder is warm, yet you grow cold,
Though I’m weary and weak
Shall carry you to give you the due
RESPECT.

Esala Erangi Malawithanthri
 

One little bird took to flight

Time is right, the father said,
Out came the mother to lead ahead.
Dispelled all evil, did all rites
One little bird took to flight.
That’s the nature of all birds,
Scribed a poet in rhyming words.
So I taught you, the nature of birds,
All smiles you were lost for words.
It is not the way for sons,
It’s for the birds to leave their mums.
The nature of the birds we read,
Did I fail to keep you impressed.
Lest you feel the throb of our heart,
As we dwell so far apart.
Failing to reach your much loved ones,
Is this the nature of things for sons.

Prof. Kusuma Karunaratne