A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her?

It was a bright, sunny day.

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Can you read the following?

Yy u r yy u b I c u r yy 4 me.

Too wise you are, too wise you be,

I see you are too wise for me.

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Do you say, "Nine and five is thirteen,"

or "Nine and five are thirteen"?

Neither. Nine and five are fourteen.

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How can you tell the difference between a

can of chicken soup and a can of tomato

soup?

Read the label.

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How do pigs write?

With a pigpen.

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Two pieces of rope meet one day in the park and while one goes on the slide the other goes on the swing. They're having a great time until one rope decides to go on the roundabout.

After a while, the rope feels really dizzy and falls off, scraping across the tarmac and making a tangled mess of one end and falling in a heap. The second rope looks at him and sighs "you're not very good on that roundabout are you?"

The first rope looks at himself and says "I'm a frayed knot".