 A new hat
by Muhammad Afridi
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding
her hat tightly so that it wouldn’t blow off in the wind. A gentleman
approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be
forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high
wind?”
“Yes I know”, said the lady. “I need both hands to hold on to this
hat.”
“But madam you must know that you are exposed!”, said the gentleman
in earnest.
The woman looked down then back up at the man and replied “Sir,
anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat
yesterday!”
Heard the one about....?
by Rienzie Ivan Perera
The newly appointed government Officer was rather short and felt the
need to use a footstool. But when he wrote to his head office, he was
asked what had happened to the old footstool, why he wanted one now and
why he couldn’t manage with the existing furniture. As the
correspondence went on, the exasperated officer finally withdrew his
request. When the head office asked him the reason, he wrote back: “The
existing file on this subject has become big enough to be used as a
footstool.”
******
The manager of a reputed supermarket was ticking off one of his
staff. “I saw you arguing with a customer”, he said crossly. “Will you
please remember that the customer is always right. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” said the assistant. “The customer is always right.”
“Now then what were you arguing about?”
“Well, Sir, he said you were an idiot.”
The owner of a poultry and piggery farm in Moratuwa who on reading a
newspaper advertisement that offered “Bombay Ducks for Sale” thought
that it would be a swell idea if he could get some Bombay Ducks as
additions to his poultry farm. He went to the particular store one
morning and enquired as to how the Bombay Ducks are sold. The sales
assistant said “By the kilo, Sir.” Creasing his forehead, he then and
there ordered ten kilos of Bombay Ducks and settled the bill and was
eagerly waiting for the ordered item. The sales assistant on his part
was somewhat taken aback by the customer’s order but without any comment
went in and brought two packs each weighing five kilos and set the packs
on the counter in front of the customer. The customer looked puzzled at
the parcels and on the sly slightly opened a corner of one parcel and
exclaimed aloud. “What the heck is this. This is “bombili caravala,
no?”, his face like a half-consumed yoghurt cup exclaimed, “I expected
live Bombay ducks!” |
