Rely on your first impressions

We are constantly constructing impressions of others either to understand them or predict their behaviour. Although we succeed in this endeavour most of the time, we fail to understand some people or their behaviour. Psychologists say this is partly due to social thinking and influence that play a major role in life. When people interact with others, the process of forming first impressions becomes complex.

As we cannot read the minds of others, we have to depend on observation to determine who they are. There seem to be several sources of observational information that help us to understand people and their behaviour.

Appearance is a major source of observational information. We are generally carried away by the outward appearance of people and objects.

Those who are all out to cheat others pay attention to their dress. A well-dressed salesperson will find it easy to sell his wares to unsuspecting customers. In fact, William Shakespeare said, "Apparel doth oft proclaim the man."

However, according to an old adage, "You can't judge a book by its cover." But publishers know how to market their books with attractive covers. Any average reader will be tempted to buy them.

There are certain myths regarding appearance. For instance, a bespectacled person is usually regarded as someone who is well-read and knowledgeable. Some men believe women with curly hair tend to fight with their husbands constantly. However, a close observation might explode these myths.

Verbal statements

To judge people we pay attention to what they say. Such verbal statements reveal character traits of the speaker. Someone who runs down others tries to glorify himself. Unfortunately, those who listen to such a person will form a low opinion about him. Some people try to play God by announcing that they are paragons of virtue. We have to take what they say with a pinch of salt.

Most people are ready to lie if they stand to gain something. Women often lie about their age. They want to remain young for ever by hiding their actual age. In such circumstances, we are compelled to resort to other methods to get at the truth. One tried and tested method is to watch the actions of others. In a way, this is body language at work. We must always remember, "Actions speak louder than words."

People send out non-verbal messages all the time. They include facial expressions, eye contact and gestures. Non-verbal messages tell us something about the emotional states and dispositions of an individual. For instance, eye contact and a bright smile signal friendliness. A morose look on your face reveals the state of anxiety you are going through.

Crucial information

The setting in which behaviour occurs provides crucial information.

For instance, a suspect held in remand custody on trumped-up charges will react strongly against the law enforcement authorities. On the other hand, a bride will find herself on cloud nine on her wedding day.

First impressions are based on information and preconceived notions.

Although they may not be accurate, we rely on them most of the time.

However, there are instances where we tend to go beyond first impressions to pass judgements on a person's behaviour. When you want to select a friend or life partner, you have to spend a long time to assess a person's worth. These systematic judgements can be treated as an extension of first impressions.

Understanding the behaviour of others is really a difficult task. For instance, when your boss shouts at you, you may not know why he is doing so. He may be under pressure or he simply wants to get rid of you. The situation remains the same when somebody says, "You are wearing a nice shirt." Are those feelings genuine? Or, are they mere compliments made in passing as part of social etiquette?

'Ingroup' feeling

We usually like to be with people who have similar tastes. This 'ingroup' feeling is quite common to all of us. On the other hand, we also do not want to associate with the 'outgroups'. This type of categorising is inevitable in society. We have favourable attitudes towards 'ingroup' people. Our attitudes are not so favourable towards 'outgroup' people.

First impressions carry more weight in human relationships because initial information is more important than subsequent information. We begin to see what we expect to see. Later information about the person will have no such effect.

In the final analysis, the process of person perception is highly subjective. In forming impressions about others we are usually effective and selective perceivers. Even if we make errors in our first impressions, they are not so serious.

With all such knowledge available to them, most people cannot get along with others due to man-made barriers such as religion, ethnicity, caste and social status. Only an enlightened person can rise above such prejudices.