Know your friends, the Buddhist way
by J.F. Ranjith PERERA
Even though the Buddha lived and preached his Dhamma in the 6th
century BC his teachings are quite relevant and applicable to modern
life and society, irrespective of any racial, social and religious
differences prevalent among human beings. Being the Enlightened One he
had foreseen the conduct the behaviour and the failings of human beings
irrespective of differences and where they live on the earth.
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Thoughts from The Dhammapada
* Whosoever is energetic, mindful, pure conduct,
discriminatory, self restrained, right living, vigilant, his
fame steadily increases.
* Hatred is never appeased by hatred in
this world; It is appeased by love; This is an eternal Law.* If,
as one fares, one does not find a companion who is better or
equal, let one resolutely pursue the solitary course; there can
be no fellowship with the fool.
* Even if all his life a fool associates
with a wise man, he will not understand the truth, even as the
spoon (does not understand) the flavour of the soup.* The fool
thinks an evil deed as sweet as honey so long as it does not
ripen (does not produce results). But when it ripens, the food
comes to grief.
* Even as a solid rock is unshaken by the
wind, so are wise, unshaken by praise or blame.
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This is perhaps the reason why Buddhism has been acknowledged by the
intelligentsia as a way of life than a religion, in comparisons to other
forms of religions practised in the world. Some of the relevant
teachings of the Buddha that will guide those who are striving to lead a
successful life are elaborated here.
Dissipating wealth
The Buddha taught the six ways of dissipating wealth, namely
consumption of liquor, frequenting the streets at unseemly hours;
haunting fairs; gambling; associating evil friends; and idleness.
There are six dangers in consuming liquor, namely, loss of wealth,
increasing quarrels, susceptibility to disease, an evil reputation,
indecent exposure, ruining one’s intelligence.
The perils a man runs through frequenting the streets will be that he
himself will be unguarded or unprotected and so too are his wife and
children; so also his property. In addition he falls under the suspicion
of being responsible for undetected crimes. Rumours will be attached to
his name and he goes to meet many troubles.
Six perils
There are six perils in frequenting fairs, namely, a man keeps
looking where dancing is; where singing is; music, recitation, cymbal
playing and beating of drums etc.
The perils of gambling are many. If he wins, he will be hated by
others. If he looses, he will mourn his lost wealth. His word will have
no weight in a court of law or in any other assembly. He is despised by
his friends and companions. He is not sought in marriage for people will
say that a gambler will never make a good husband.
There are six perils in associating evil friends. Any gambler,
alcoholic, immoral person, cheat, swindler, or man of violence becomes
his friend and companion.
There are four persons who should be reckoned as foes in the likeness
of a friend. They are the rapacious person; the man who pays only
lip-service to a friend; and the flatterer.
Of these the first is to be reckoned as a foe in the likeness of a
friend on four grounds. He is rapacious; he gives little and expects
much; he does what he has to do out of fear; he pursues his own
interests on four grounds. The man who pays lip service to a friend is
to be reckoned as a foe in the likeness of a friend. He makes friendly
professions as regards the future; The only service he renders is by his
empty sayings; when the opportunity for service arises he shows his
unreliability.
Four grounds
On four grounds the flatterer is to be reckoned as a foe in the
likeness of a friend; He approves your bad deeds, as well as your good
deeds. He praises you to your face, and in our absence he speaks ill of
you.
On four grounds the wastrel (a good for nothing person) is to be
reckoned as a foe in the likeness of a friend. He is your companion when
you go drinking; when you frequent the streets at untimely hours; when
you frequent shows and fairs or when you gamble.
There are six perils in idleness. A man says, it is too cold and does
not work. He says it too hot, and does not work He says I am too hungry
and does not work... too full, and does not work. And while all that
remains undone, he makes no money, and such wealth as he has dwindles
away.
The friends who should be reckoned as good-hearted (friends) are
four; the helper; the friend who is constant in happiness and adversity;
the friend of good counsel and the sympathetic friend.
The friend who is a helper is to be reckoned as good-hearted on four
grounds; he protects you when you are taken unawares; he protects your
property when you are not there to protect it; he is a refuge to you
when you are afraid; When you have tasks to perform, he provides twice
as much help as you may need.
Doing wrong
The friend who is constant in happiness and adversity is to be
reckoned as good hearted on four grounds.
He tells you his secrets; he does not betray your secrets; in your
troubles he does not forsake you; for your sake he will even lay down
his life.
The friend of good counsel is, good-hearted on four grounds; He
restraints you from doing wrong; he enjoys you to do what is right; from
him you learn what you had not learnt before and he shows you the way to
heaven.
A friend who is sympathetic is to be reckoned as good hearted on four
grounds; He does not rejoice over your misfortunes; he rejoices with you
in your prosperity; he restrains those who speak ill of you and he
commends those who speak well of you. |
