The past does not define a man, attitude does

"The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in-charge of our Attitudes" - Charles R. Swindoll (American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934).

There is an old saying in Tamil: do not go in search of the origin of an ascetic or that of a mighty river. The reason is simple "you are certain to be disappointed. Accept them as they are and enjoy the benefit of their being. What they are now, and how they relate to you presently, is what matters; not where they hail from or how lightly or darkly their journey has been up to now.

I believe that all what you need to know of the past is that no matter what has happened, every bit of it has worked together to bring you, or anyone else for that matter, to this very moment. And this, right now, is the moment you can choose to make everything new.

What happened yesterday or even a few minutes ago has happened, there is nothing we can do about it, but we do have a choice and the ability to start all over again at any time, to change the way the future turns out. What has happened in the past does not have to define the future. There is hope for a different outcome if you decide to talk yourself around. Remind yourself that you can change. Decide that your future is going to be full of happiness, joy and freedom; and it will. Do not dwell in the past and do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed. There is not a single religion in the world that denies this truth.

More often than not, many of us judge people by their past. We think that the past defines a man and tradition creates him. How foolish of such men, that they seemed to have forgotten their past. Is there a single man in this world who has not done something to regret. More than forget the past; most tend to hide the past.

For some, the past is like a shadow" whether it be of their own or someone else's. It seems to follow where ever they go, whatever they do, because of their attitude.

I once read about a man who sped through a traffic light because he was late to work and ran over a mother and child. Both were killed but the driver survived unharmed. This man became an alcoholic and a drug user and his life started spiraling out of control as his guilt was so painful. It took him almost 30 years but one day he realised that what was done was done, and there was no way to change it. By destroying his life as well, he was effectively ruining three lives.

I am a firm believer in the ability of man to control his destiny. I do not think anyone else plans things out for us. I think we are the ones who forge our future and I think we are the ones responsible for our actions. Sometimes, however, we have to realise that we cannot control everything that goes on.

I once heard a friend of mine say that people who dwell on the past are just trying to control everything. I think he was right. Sometimes I feel like my sense of independence means that I blame myself too heavily when things go wrong. And what that means is that I am often dwelling on my mistakes in spite of the fact: to err is human.

However, to err constantly is inhuman. We cannot control everything. We cannot control everyone. And although we are the one in-charge of our destiny, there are times when we will be utterly unable to change a set of circumstances. So let it go. You will be glad you did.

Letting go of the past is like lifting a weight off your shoulders. It allows you to move on and make a new life; it stops you from staying stagnant. Like any habit, however, it will be hard to accomplish and it will take a lot of practice.

But it is possible to let go of the past and live completely for the present. It all depends on your attitude.

Attitudes are judgements. An attitude is a hypothetical construct that represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for something. We can generally have positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event. We can also be conflicted or ambivalent toward an object, meaning that we simultaneously possess both positive and negative attitudes toward the item in question. Most attitudes are the result of either direct experience or observational learning from the environment. Ultimately, attitude is a person's perspective toward a specified target and way of saying and doing things. That is to say that, an attitude is: a relatively enduring organisation of beliefs, feelings, and behavioural tendencies towards socially significant objects, groups, events or symbols.

How does an attitude define a man? Freud famously said that it was man that made God 'in the image of his father'. It is, of course, a very clever statement and not one I wish to here challenge - whether this statement or the reverse is true is for you to decide, depending upon your religious bias.

But, this notion that having a particular attitude of mind can make such a huge and positive difference to almost everything we experience in life is foreign to those who have already internalised the opposite habit as a part of their personalities "those who dwell in the past. For some people, the glass is always half-empty and the feeling of melancholy is a pleasant reminder that something is indeed missing. For such people, this habit represents a bitter pill to swallow - but, it could also be completely liberating. Thus, when we are finally prepared to accept full responsibility for the effects that are manifest in our lives; when we have the strength of character to admit it when we make mistakes (even big ones); when we are completely free to exercise the options available to us in every situation; then it can be said that we have finally internalised this habit" we have developed the right attitude.

Life represents purpose. Until you can say what that purpose is, with assurance, then you just cannot direct your life in the manner that would bring you the greatest satisfaction.See you this day next week. Until then, keep thinking, keep laughing. Life is mostly about these two actions.

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