Let marriage grow like a tree!
Some of us are lucky to have been born in the 20th century and
continue to live in the 21st century. Those who were born six or seven
decades ago will realise that the world has undergone a sea change.
Science and technology have brought us creature comforts such as
washing-machines, air-conditioned offices and luxury modes of travel.
All that is marvellous. But some of us feel that certain areas of life
are drifting in the wrong direction.
Our settlement in the urban areas leaving the salubrious countryside
has led to the splitting of family life. We work in the asphalt jungle,
drinking bottled water and eating fast food. We occasionally visit
villages to meet our kith and kin, but we fail to see how the trees have
aged over the years. Even some of our parents and grandparents still
enjoy farming and roaming in the wilds, enjoying the bountiful gifts of
nature.
In the city we earn money, spend lavishly on trinkets, shift our
houses or move into flats and apartments. Eventually, we become virtual
prisoners of our own houses. While living in high-rise buildings, we
look through the window to feast our eyes on trees and flowers. But we
see only huge apartments and hotels coming up all around us.
Vicious cycle
Then we want a change. We are carried away by colourful
advertisements announcing the availability of various household goods.
We fill our houses with modern furniture and electrical goods, thinking
that they would bring us happiness. Soon we grow weary of them.
Sometimes, we get rid of them only to buy a new set of furniture and
fancy items. We do not realise that we have been caught in a vicious
cycle.
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Like trees, married
couples also grow old and get gnarled |
Amid all these changes, we begin to lead stressful lives. We spend
long hours in work places or do more than two jobs to make ends meet.
Musical set-ups, cable television, cinema, theatre and clubs will take
our boredom away for some time. However, we feel that we are missing the
joys of life.
What is more, some of us want to “renew” our marriages by getting a
divorce from our spouses. While our parents and grandparents live
together in villages till death, we want to split from our partners. The
divorce rate in the city appears to be on the increase. A divorce will
put the husband and wife asunder and their children become the ultimate
victims.
Solemn vows
The husband leaves his wife for another woman. And the wife feels it
is high time she left her husband. Without any hesitation, they go their
own ways. If you ask them why they do so, they will say, “We thought it
best.” What had happened to those solemn vows that the couples had
stammered on their happiest day a few years ago? What happened to the
joy of their honeymoon?
Breaking the marriage bonds and leaving your spouse is like
abandoning the foundation of a building project, piled bricks and cement
and a gash in the ground left to depress the passer-by. When our
grandparents got married, they also made their vows, but they learned to
live together. They knew they were stuck, and it was better to be stuck
comfortably than putting an end to it.
We are living in an age in which men and women can enjoy sex without
getting married. Like the great British philosopher Bertrand Russell,
couples move from one marriage to another, looking for the best partner.
Modern man may think this is social progress. While the divorce rate is
rising, most couples live together without getting married so that they
can move away without any legal impediment.
Today, most married couples fail to see that the advantages of
spending a lifetime with a person is seeing each other grow and change.
Perhaps the most poignant victim of the 21st century is our sense of
continuity. Our grandparents used to grow up with trees. They watched
how trees evolved from saplings to fruit-bearers. In the long run, both
trees and grandparents stuck together until they became gnarled and
unproductive. So, there’s great joy in watching a tree grow because like
trees, married couples also grow old and get gnarled. Till then they
should stick together! |