Think 'jungle gym'

Women urged to stop talking about paths, ladders and pipelines to success:

By Cara Moore

Women tend to start their working lives buoyed up with confidence, enthusiasm and aspiration. We all know about the so-called career 'ladder' or 'pipeline' and we start looking around for ways to get on the bottom rung - and scale it.

But it's not always that easy. Women are still the primary caregivers when it comes to children and other family members - and these commitments can easily throw even the most linear career path off course.

That can be down to discrimination - an Equality and Human Rights Commission study last year found that 54,000 women are forced out of their jobs due to maternity discrimination each year - the cost of childcare and even our own limitations.

Many women are unprepared for the emotional tug that becoming a parent brings; the havoc that hormones can play and the guilt and exhaustion that can overwhelm.

This coupled with the cost of childcare and the expense of commuting means that many women run an emotional and financial equation through their minds - frequently resulting in pressing the pause button on their careers.

"There's no miracle solution and it's not always easy. But with the right approach, it is possible to have a career on your own terms."

And while all this is completely understandable, the danger is that the chink of decreased self-confidence and self-belief, from having been out of the workplace, grows into a gremlin - and many women, who want to, don't return to their careers at all.

Confidence gap

Research shows that the confidence gap between men and women is not a myth and that it exists even before a woman dips out of her career. Having a career break can turn that gap into a gulf.

At Voice at the Table - the leadership company where I am Head of the Training Academy for Professional Women - we believe women can have successful careers without having to compromise who they are outside work.

The key is to ditch everything you think you know about how progression should look. Women need to stop talking about 'paths', 'ladders' and 'pipelines'. Instead, think of your career as a jungle gym - where progress is less linear and more lateral, with side steps, dips and the occasional pause to take in the view.

It's an analogy that works for women with families and millennials, struggling to get a foothold in their chosen field during the economic downturn.

Thinking about your career this way is far less scary than constantly striving for the next step. It allows for creative thinking, space and the consideration of new opportunities that might, at first, seem counter-intuitive.

In her book 'Lean In', Sheryl Sandberg writes: "A jungle gym scramble is the best description of my career. I could never have connected the dots from where I started to where I am today."

Men and women are different - and so are their careers - and many women 'on-ramp' and 'off-ramp' at points during their career path.

Of course, women should feel they can go all out for their careers, as any man might. But given the tugging and conflicting priorities on our time, it doesn't have to be done in the same way - there's not just one formula for success.

I don't regret my career break to 'be there' for my children, but I do regret how complete the break was. I also regret not being brave enough to have those conversations about how I could have stayed involved with my employer in some way - not just in terms of pushing for flexible working practices but also considering different roles that would have been easier to manage for a few years.

Obstacles

It doesn't have to be that way. Women who keep a foot (or even just a toe) on their career path and persevere through the guilt and sheer exhaustion of juggling a demanding, responsible job and motherhood, get to maintain their professional knowledge, confidence and financial independence and are in the right place and ready to go for top positions or join returners schemes, when their ties at home diminish.

Children grow up, plans change, lives take turns, partners can lose their jobs, and worse. If you haven't kept your career on track, resentment might set in that you 'gave up your career' and your earning potential for something that hadn't materialised as hoped or planned. If you're looking at your professional life as a series of obstacles to overcome, some of which might take you sideways or down unexpected routes, it becomes much easier to navigate and less pressurised.

Scaling down or taking a break is not the issue; the issue is not giving a thought to the impact and cost that a complete break might have on the future. Women's careers are not linear, nor do they have to be 'on or off'; so when the going gets tough, speak up, ask for flexible working and consider taking a sideways move.

Look at your valuable career through a long lens (many women are working into their seventies) and don't give up on it for short-term reprieve, which may unwittingly sabotage your future success.

The jungle gym is yours to conquer - hang on with both hands.

(This article was originally featured in Telegraph UK)