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| Sunday, 25 August 2002 |
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So here goes: * Have a clear plan. Before you ask, think of a place to go, how you're going to get there, how you'll get back, what kind of clothes you'll be wearing (she'll want to know what to wear.) Figure out a way to pick her up (get your parents to drive or something), but be gracious about it if she wants her parents to drive her there. Choose a night where she's likely to be available. Asking on a Monday or Tuesday for the weekend leaves a reasonable amount of time. * Choose a place that's safe. For a girl that young, her parents may (should!) have restrictions on where she can go unescorted. Choose a place where there will be other people - a party where there will be adults in control, a church function or a school function, a sports event. Choose an event that isn't too expensive - even if you can afford it, spending a huge amount of money on a gal on the first date is intimidating. * Anticipate the questions her parents will ask her. Give her a clear time by which you can get her home. Choose something that's flexible w.r.t her curfew - don't choose a movie that doesn't end until 11:30, for instance. * Actually asking is the simplest part (although it never fells like the easiest part.) Ask her when you both are alone; don't ask her in front of her friends. Face to face is better than by phone, but phone is OK. * Wait for a pause in the conversation, then just ask. Be direct, "Maryanne, I'd like to take you to rugger match this Friday, if you're free." She'll probably ask some questions before she accepts; if you've planned, you can answer them. If she accepts, call her the night before to chat, to make sure that you're still on and that she's clear on the details. * Be prepared to be turned down. It's just one of those little annoying facts about being a guy. You get to do the asking (which has its up side.) You also get to be rejected a lot. It's OK; the cure is to ask somebody else, or to ask her again later. Finally, don't worry much about the whole 'holding the door; holding her chair' stuff. It's greatly overblown. Hold the door for her; if she scowls, quit holding the door. Most gals appreciate it. A few don't. If she offers to pay, say "I'd be happy to pay for you." If she insists, let her pay. Take along at least Rs500 more than you think you'll need for the evening. It's easier than it looks, once you get the hang of it. Welcome to the wonderful world of dating. |
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| Produced by Lake House |
This
is in response to a 17-yr old guy who was looking for advice about asking
out a gal his age: Most of what we are saying here will hold true for
dating for the rest of your life. No matter how much customs seem to
change.
