That's life

You are privileged enough to be reading a lecture on technology which will surely be given in year 2564."Good morning! Today's lecture in this course on technology will be on the history of printers.

Okay, so can anyone tell me what a paper jam was back then? No? Come one people. We lecturers don't prescribe text books for you just for the kicks, okay? Anyone read the chapter I told you to read last week? Paper jams were when paper actually got stuck in the printer. Now no sniggering at the back please. I'm sure you won't be very familiar with the concept of paper jams, but it wasn't very funny, okay?

With careful research we have now found that the stress levels resulting from paper jams and stress levels brought on by neighbours who keep on playing the same song over and over again very loudly are actually the same. Look HYP889X563, will you please stop moving me around the class room with the atom shifter on your mobile phone? I have a lecture to deliver, okay?

Once, a girl told her brother to give her a hand because there was a paper jam on her printer and when the brother replied by saying that she had better put in raspberries next time. So I'm sure you can all realize how big an issue this paper jam thing was. World environment organizations did extensive research into paper jams in printers and they found that paper worth 30,000 trees was being wasted each day due to paper jams.

Then an important thing to remember in this chapter is the Great Printer Scandal of 2006 that was when a girl found that the defect of paper jams was actually being caused on purpose by a specially designed mechanism in the printer itself. This little mechanism was developed by Aye Sel Payper, who became the world's richest man by supplying paper for large companies. His monetary position was closely followed by those who were paid by him to go in the dead of night to break into factories of printer manufacturers to install his little invention.

XDC4783, you have a question my dear girl? You want to know how they found out his little scheme? Well, it's like this... A girl who used to have a measly little column in a Sunday paper did some careful calculations and found out that her printer had more paper jams than actually printing anything.

She had this brother who would gleefully take apart anything with a wire attached to one end and she left him alone with a screwdriver and her printer in a room one night. Et voila! That was the beginning of the Great Printer Scandal. This girl wrote it in her column which was read by a senior technician of printers specializing very specially on paper jams in printers being used in South East Asia. Well, this is why we don't have paper jams anymore..."

Dilini Algama