Today is International Elders' Day:

Some live in mansions, others live in holes, but they live at Rene's

ELDERS' HOMES COULD BE HAPPY PLACES TOO

by Nisansala R. Aryachandra

Age is a relative thing. The number of years you have lived is only an arithmetical symbol or conclusion. The happiness you have felt and spread, and have thus yourself had, during that time, is the true determinant of your youth...Today, we celebrate both the young and the old - World Children's Day and the Day for Older Persons.

As you go down Pahalawela Road at Pelawatta situated in a serene location surrounded by paddyfields and still unpopulated marshy lands is a "home away from home", a pensioner's paradise or simply put "a place to live in dignity..."

"I was looking for a place to settle down in my old age, when I came here, I was so impressed, other places require a degree of acclimatising one's self to, but here, it provides me the lifestyle I was used to...I call it my departure lounge", says Chelvathy Muthukrishna while bantering with her fellow residents, as they join her in a hearty laugh. Laughter is everywhere.

Welcome to Rene's Residence, where living starts at 60. "This place was built in memory of Rene Panditharatne. We were told that it was a dream of Mrs Panditharatne to build a home for middle class families, and as they had no children of their own, they were planning to live here too in their old age.

Unfortunately, while this was being built, the lady died of cancer. She was an old girl of Sacred Heart Convent, Galle. Before she died, she had asked us to manage this place and continue to run it along with the support of her husband, Mr. Panditharatne who owns this place," says Sister Mitchell who is in charge of the daily functioning of this beautiful place.

Changing times

Times have changed now, some parents are put in Homes, ill treated by their own children or completely disowned, while others look for the independence and quietness in similar places, however, with all the comforts. "This is a home away from home. I live with my children too, but I like to come back here.

This place gives me the freedom and independence that I need," says Nalini Perera, another resident at Rene's.

Mr and Mrs Bowen, a couple living there for about three months now say "this place offers us peace of mind and we feel very relaxed and content here. Coming here was our decision. My children were happy with our decision and they support us".

Sometimes, it's quite surprising to hear such things in our society because we are a community that is (socially) conditioned to have our family and loved ones always near, and most of the time, even when married. The bond that we share with our parents is undoubtedly our nation's pride - it's more than our culture, it's who we are. Is the very essence of family ties that we knew, gradually changing now?

Kith de Silva who is also a senior resident living with his wife says "My children did not like the idea of us coming here, but we told them to come here and see how it's like...when they did, they were quite happy."

Not every mother and father are as lucky as Chelvathy Muthukrishna, Nalini Perera, Vincent Bowen and Mrs. Bowen, Kith de Silva and Mrs de Silva, Kamala Fernando Hazel Perera along with 17 others whose children and family care and love them.

Earlier, this was not a matter of choice. Destitute families who could not care for their elders were mostly without shelter. This became a social issue and in order to restrain it, the Government came forward with the concept to establish shelters for them. These shelters were known as 'Homes for the Aged'.

As a child, I remember visiting homes with my parents and brother, giving alms to all those achchis and seeyas whose faces I still remember. Although at the time, I didn't know the significance of such doing, I know now that it's not so much the deed that matters actually, it's being there with them, at that time. What I will never forget is the tears rolling down their cheeks as they sit with my mother and father in their moments of comfort.

Rene's a haven

A luxurious retirement home such as the Rene's Residence is a haven in heaven compared to the many Homes we know of. In a way, it is a relief to know that there are now such places too, but what of the many who cannot afford such places, who will look after them?

Just remember what your parents gave you. You are somebody now because of the support and guidance they gave you. They were your fortress whenever fear crossed your mind. They were that mighty rock that never let you fall when the ground at your feet shook all those years.

You were everything to them. Look after them now when they are weak and feeble. Bring them home as they did on the day when you were born. Because, you are their keepers and never let a tear fall from their eyes.