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How parents can deal with...

Attention-seeking child

Child is always witty, coy, teasing, whining, fighting and pleasing at inappropriate times. He likes to show off or act like a clown. His behaviour is frequently silly, regardless of the social context or the consequences.

When an adult attends to him, the inappropriate behaviour ceases temporarily.

Reasons why

1. Child wants to be noticed.

2. Emotional needs of child like need for love and security, praise and recognition are unmet.

3. Child has low self-esteem. He feels worthwhile when he obtains attention.

4. Child can be diverting attention away from his own problems or defusing a tense parental relationship.

How to prevent

1. Ensure that child's emotional needs are met.

2. Spend sufficient quality time alone with child to share experiences and feelings.

3. Enhance child's self-esteem by focusing on his strengths and contributions rather than dwelling only on his weakness.

What to do

1. Analyse Cause and Take Action. You may need to give child more positive attention by participating and showing keen interest in his activities.

2. Ignore all attention-seeking behaviour. Give attention to child at other times.

3. Arrange situations that will result in child receiving positive attention like celebrating his birthday and leading in family games.

4. Highlight your child's positive points to members of the family and friends. Be free with your praise and encouragement.

5. Increase your child's self-esteem by helping him to be aware of his strengths. Create opportunities for him to develop these, for example by attending art classes, swimming lessons.

What not to do

1. Punish or confront child. Child will gain revenge by being more attention-seeking.

2. To criticise, threaten, shame and yell.

3. Give attention to child's attention-seeking behaviour.

Source: Handlling Common Problems of Children

 

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