New Year holidays

When both parents are working, what do the children do? :

by Lakmal Welabada

New Year holidays! The morning hazzel of getting ready, brushing, washing, dressing preparing the little lunch boxes with a few sandwiches, waiting for the school van have stopped for a few weeks. What do the kids feel. Do they enjoy their stay at home? Or don't they?

"Amma, do you have to go to office today too?" My little daughter who will reach five very soon had at first, felt jubilant to find she doesn't have to get up early, and then found it not so fantastic. She seems to miss her school mates a lot. With no neighbourhood friend to play with, the little angel mostly confines herself in front of the TV which telecast mostly non-child-friendly programmes.

Unlike in the good old days when we had neighbourhood children and cousins and family friends'- children who were almost invading our homes to play with us, today's children hardly have anybody for their companionship. "I do not like to send my child out that much due to many reasons," says Padmini, the mother of 6-year-old Manjali.

"One reason is that child abuse is rampant now, and we never know whether the children would be safe with and among others. Some children of today have weird interests.

It can be a picture or a filthy uncouth word or some other devilish deed like killing or blood shedding that our children are being exposed to. So I'm very careful of her friends," she says. She prefers her girl to stay indoors watching TV until her husband and she come home.

The only companion of Manjali is her old grandma who loves to sit on a cosy chair and knit. The old servant has no time to chat either. So Manjali would play alone with her toys talking to her dollies and Teddies.

Sometimes she might mess up the kitchen spilling water all over the floor or get upto mischief to give agony to the grandma and the servant.

"It is the hour of the devil," says Janidu's grandma. "His parents do not know the battle we face during the day. We are in a flat and our 5-year-old grandson has no other way of burning his energy other than climbing on the grills and peeping over the balcony.

He sometimes gets irritated when I or the maid shout or try to avoid his mischief. He sometimes tries to hit us in anger. We always have to keep our eyes on him as we do not know what he would up to in the next second. It's we, the grandparents and the maids who are answerable if the child gets injured," she says.

Tharu and Panchali have to stay in their Day Care Centre the whole day long until their parents pick them up in the evening. During the school days their school van drops the two at the Centre and they wait there till evening.

Their mother Ruwanthi who holds an executive post at a leading private bank has this to say.

"Though they have holidays, we, the parents have no vacation except during the few days of Avurudu. Both our parents are not living, so we have no choice other than keeping our kids in the Day Care Centre. When we were small we used to have a wonderful time during Aurudu, and it's really pathetic to think of imprisoning our little ones in the Day Care Centres like this during their Avurudu holidays. But what else can we do?," she mourns.

"My next door lady is a government teacher who gets holidays along with her three boys. And my cousin who lives at the adjoining lane is a house wife. Sometimes I feel really sad when I see them playing with their children in the garden when we go to work in the morning.

Those children look really happy to be at home with their mother, while we (my husand and I) are taking ours to the Day Care Centre. But my husband feels it's better to let the children stay in a child care centre as they get some sort of companionship. He also believes it's better for them than staying alone at home with a short tempered maid," she contends.

Roshini, the child Psychologist says. "Find out whether your child's Day Care Centre is functioning well with activities or whether it's only providing meals on time, giving a wash and putting the child to rest.

But there are so many activities that a Day Care Centre can offer. Oriental dancing, singing, music, little bit of literature, art and hand work and so many other things. Any parent would like to give their children the best, so even charging a little bit extra, these centres can provide a better service, especially during the school holidays," she points out.

"Give the child a free hand to mess up," advocates Roshini. "The child should learn and study the environment by spilling and touching mud, sand, stones, leaves, plants, water and other things found in nature.

Every house and nursery school should have a sand corner so that the child can enjoy messing up as much as he/she wants. If planned properly school holidays can be used perfectly to develop a child's practical knowledge. Parents can place paint, brushes, crayons, colour pencils and drawing sheets or books in one place in the house with a sand corner with little pebbles and bricks kept for outdoor activities.

Piyasena Rathuwithana, senior media personnel and an opinion leader compares how the children celebrates the old days and the present day Avurudu vacation. "When we were children, The Avurudu season was the best period we were eagerly waiting for.

'Pancha Kreeda' (Ludo game) was the most popular indoor game we played. 'Daan', a game like chess which needed a lot of intelligent concentration was also popular. There was another competition called 'Prashnayata Prashnemma Pilithuru' (Replying a question with a question). In this one asks a question, example: 'Did you go to school yesterday?'.

So without just replying either 'yes' or 'no', the other one has to say 'Why didn't you know that I went to school?'... Through this the child could sharpen his/her debating skills.

'Ovu, Ne, Be' was the other game we played during this season. One has to talk and answer the questions asked from him without using 'yes', 'no' or 'can't'. One has to pay great attention to avoid these forms when talking. These games provided a good exercise while giving us lots of fun," he explains.

" 'Pandu Keliya', 'Chak Gudu', 'Thaachchi Paninawa' and 'Bindu Kotanava' were a few out door games we did during the Avurudu season." recalls Rathuwithana.

"What Avurudu games? I have classes through out the day," snarls Supul, a grade 8 student in a leading school. "I have no time," he smiles. "Not only him my 7-year-old daughter also has little time as she has been loaded with home work sent by school to do during the holidays," says Supul's mother.

These days I'm helping her to finish them as otherwise the vacation would soon evaporate in next to no time. I was looking forward to paying a visit to our relatives as it's a part of the Avurudu rituals. But almost all the days are booked with my son's tuition classes. My husband too got angry. But what can we do we cannot let Putha miss the lessons," she says.

Rituals! the most beautiful word during the time of our childhood. They are still living within our souls. It's our responsibility to pass them on to our children.

The Avurudu season and the holidays! Lets make it worth while for the young ones.

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