Short story -

An armchair full of memories

A long wait

The hot sun burnt my naked neck. Thirst was making my throat even dryer. Not a single shade could I spot to get away from the sun. I had forgotten my umbrella and the shawl of my shalwar. At least I could have covered by head and my neck if I had the shawl.

The bus stop had a few people waiting for their buses. I've been standing in this place for almost half an hour. Not a single Moratuwa bus and I thought it a bit weird. The two buses that did pass were fully packed. Not even a small person like me could have squeezed in.

I shielded the sun's glaring rays with my file and waited in silent anger and frustration. I couldn't blame it on the eternal wait for the bus. No. It was at me that I was so angry and disappointed at.

Questions That Begins With "Why"

Finally I saw a 102 come. I quickly got in squeezing past all the stinking shirts of the men. As usual I couldn't find an empty seat. Most probably I'll get a seat when I am nearing home. Again as usual. I struggled to keep still with my file and my handbag.

I bought my ticket and resumed back to thinking of my pitiful situation. It's been almost a year since I graduated. Brains alone can never take you higher in life. Or even a degree. You should also be blessed with that dumb thing called luck.

I couldn't find a single job. I've checked all the papers for job vacancies and mailed my CV to numerous organisations and companies. I've attended a hundred interviews. But it's all that. Not a single accepted reply do I get. Why?

I've asked myself that question a thousand times. Why is it that I don't get a job?

Why don't they choose me? Why do they always ask for experience? Don't they believe in skills and talents? Experience has to be an added point not the whole thing. Practice makes perfect. If you have the skills, yes, experience will come along the way.

Why doesn't anybody get it? Why do they have to make it tough? Why do they make our lives so miserable? Am I to run around lost like this for ever?

Is this going to be my fate? My thoughts were disrupted by the conductor shouting at me to move in front. Curse him.

It was more than an hour when the bus stopped at my halt. When I got down I saw that there were few empty seats. Hell, I've been so preoccupied that I never noticed.

Disappointment

Shaking my head I walked into my lane. I was just thinking what a bad day it was, when my slipper tore! I cursed the stupid slipper and flung it away in fury. No use taking it to Mr. Mint. I removed the other and walked home barefoot. The road was so hot that it burnt my feet.

I opened the gate's latch and walked in. It was good to be home. Ammi was sitting on the rickety old armchair. Her favourite place. I thought she was sleeping so I quietly tiptoed past her and was about to go into my room, when her soft voice called out.

"Duwa, how did the interview go?" I stopped and stiffened.

How can I tell her the truth? How can I bear to disappoint her further? How can I bring myself to admit that I'm a total failure? How can I tell her that I shouted at the people there out of sheer frustration? How can I tell her that I made a total fool out of myself? "Duwa?" she called again.

Faking on a smile, I said in a falsely bright voice, "oh...Ammi...it was good...but...but..." I faltered. She softly asked, "But what Duwa?" I hesitated but went on, "But there were so many other applicants too Ammi. They all seemed quite good." In fact, I thought to myself, way better than me. Way prettier, way attractive, I thought bitterly.

Ammi didn't say anything. I turned and looked at her. She had her eyes closed but she said in her soft and soothing voice, "Marissa, keep on trying." Sighing with both fatigue and disappointment I went to my room. Thank god I had the sense to arrange my room before I left. Otherwise, the mere sight of an untidy room would have taken me over the edge.

Relaxed

I flopped on the bed and looked at the ceiling. I made out some patterns and then wondered. Five years from now how would I be? Alive? Dead? Rich? Employed? Married?? The questions could go on and on...I turned around and fell asleep.

When I got up, it was late evening. I wanted to go back to sleep but I had to prepare dinner. I reluctantly got up and washed and changed. The house seemed quiet. Too quiet, I thought. It was dark and the only light that dimly lit the house was coming from the open front door. Seemed like Ammi is still asleep.

I turned on some lights and went out to check the latch on the gate. I closed the front door, lit a mosquito coil and went into the kitchen. Mia, my cat, was fast asleep. The sight of her cute face and her furry body curled up in a ball made me smile. I felt so relaxed that I prepared dinner with a light heart. Maybe, the sleep had done its magic!

Gentle Wind of Death

An hour later I laid the table and went to call Ammi. She was still sleeping. I looked at her old and wrinkled but delicate face for some time. There was a small smile displayed. Wisps of white hair were being blown onto her face by a gentle wind.

Wind? Surprised I looked around. All the windows were closed. How come? I dismissed the taught and looked at the woman who had given me so much love, warmth and care. The wonderful woman who embraced me and took me in when I was orphaned at birth twenty-two years ago.

My heart filled with emotions that I felt lost. I took her frail hand and realised it was cold. She was still. My heart beat faster that it hurt to breathe. Something dark and sinister settled into me. I gently shook her but she didn't move.

I shook her a bit vigorously and called her over and over. "Ammi? Wake up... Ammi? Wake up!" But she didn't move. And then, her frail arm fell away from my warm hands and onto the floor. A pain seized me and panic settled into my heart. "Ammi?" I called softly but she didn't answer. No one ever will, I thought.

An armchair

Five years have elapsed since my Ammi died. I got a good job and was promoted to a better position in the firm. I started a partnership business with a friend and that proved to be a profitable investment. I own my own house in an apartment and drive my own car.

I earned myself wealth and a place in society. Where I was once being rejected and thrown out, now I was being heartily welcomed. That is human nature. Money will buy you a place in society and all material things. But it can never buy happiness and never can conquer death. None of these things could make me happy as my Ammi did. No one could love me as she did.

I just wish deeply that my Ammi was here with me to enjoy life. I wanted a job very badly five years ago so that I could buy Ammi a good and steady armchair and a soft footstool to rest her feet...

Nevertheless, everyday as I open the door and enter into my home, an armchair greets me. An empty armchair greets me and fills me with beautiful memories... Oh Ammi! I miss you so much. Wish you were here.

Shamlina Mahroof,
Soysapura,
Moratuwa.
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