Rudiments of body language

Although human beings have been living on this planet for millenniums, body language did not receive much attention until the 1960s. This does not mean that people did not use body language. They did. In fact, body language played a major role in communication even before speech evolved some million years ago.

Body language simply means that you can be judged by the way you stand, walk, talk and speak. That means a person well versed in body language can come to know who you are even without associating with you.

Although Charles Darwin who is credited with the Theory of Evolution paid some attention to body language, it was Albert Mehrabian who did some serious research into the subject way back in the 1950s.

He found that the verbal component of communication between two persons was 35 per cent whereas non-verbal or body language amounted to 65 per cent.

Charlie Chaplin who acted in silent movies was perhaps the first actor who used body language successfully. As a result we still crave to see his films. However, with the passage of time films with soundtracks flooded the cinema halls and audiences became less attuned to body language of actors.

Apart from actors, politicians know how to use body language to prop up their image. They dress well, most of the time in pure white, because they know that people can be mesmerized by their outward appearance. Unknown to the common man, some high-profile politicians receive training under body language experts to show the world that they are sincere people.

The first impression we make when we meet a stranger speaks volumes of the importance of body language. That means even before the other person speaks we have passed a judgement on him. How we do this is no longer a mystery. Sometimes our first impressions can be wrong because some people are good actors.

Once I wanted a carpenter to do some work in my house. A friend of mine recommended a certain carpenter and I asked him to come home. When he visited my place he was dressed in the national costume like a village school master. He had a matching bag and brand new umbrella.

I was so impressed by his appearance that I agreed to pay him the amount he asked for. After he finished the job another carpenter who visited my house convinced me that I had been over charged by the previous man.

Unlike men, women are gifted with the sixth sense intuition. Most of them read your body language accurately. They know whether a person is acting or just behaving naturally.

Therefore, men have to learn body language with some effort. Meanwhile, wives at once know whether their husbands are telling lies or not. Apart from women, Fortune tellers know how to read your body language more or less accurately.

Most Sri Lankans are gullible creatures. They flock to fortune tellers simply to know what is in store for them in the future. If you utter one word, they know how to manipulate the situation and win your confidence.

As a callow youth I once consulted a palmist who had a roaring practice just outside the city of Colombo. After the preliminaries he casually asked me whether I was a student. When I told him that I was a law student, he started doing some calculations. Then he examined my palms once again and asked me whether I had a pen and paper.

“You are going to be a leading lawyer. After some time, you will enter politics and eventually become a minister!”

I paid him Rs. 250, a princely sum at that time and returned home happily. I studied law but contrary to his predictions did not become a lawyer or a minister. Instead I joined a newspaper and became a journalist. Whenever I pass the palmist’s office I still laugh at myself for being so gullible to believe such predictions.

Body language is an interesting subject. When we learn any language we cannot take words in isolation and learn their meanings. Similarly we cannot learn body language in isolation. For instance, body language experts say that if a person scratches his head, he is uncertain.

However, a person may scratch his head simply because he has dandruff! Therefore, it is always safe to learn body language in clusters. This naturally takes time.

The hand-to-face gesture is a critical evaluation of what the speaker says. I can still remember the female undergraduate who sat in my class always with her index finger pointing upwards while another finger covering her mouth. It did not take me long to realize that she was not convinced of what I taught. She was a real doubting Thomas.

By learning body language you may not be able to get a high-profile job. However, if you know how to read clusters of body language, you will certainly have an edge over the others in this highly competitive world. Surprisingly, most beggars understand the basics of body language.

For instance, when he begs for money in a bus or railway compartment, he knows who and who will give him some money. He knows that those who do not wish to part with their money will not look at him or pretend to be asleep.

Unknown to many adults, children use body language without knowing what they are doing. Those who wish to learn body language must start with children because they are genuine. For instance, a child telling a lie will usually cover his mouth with both hands. However, when they mature, they give up this habit.

When a teenager tells a lie, he will usually rub his mouth with his index finger. When they grow into adulthood, they use different hand gestures. Can you remember how ex-US President Bill Clinton covered his mouth when he was questioned about his girlfriend Monica Lewinsky?

One question that is often asked is whether a person can fake body language. The answer is ‘yes’ and ‘no’. An accomplished actor can fake body language for a certain scene. Even an average person can fake body language, but not for long. Experts say that faking is not that easy, however trained a person may be. Therefore it is worth learning this fascinating subject.

Now you might ask me where can we learn body language. As far as I know there are no body language courses conducted in Sri Lanka. But if you walk into any reputed bookshop, you will be able to buy a couple of books on body language. Reading these books alone will not be sufficient. You have to observe how people behave. Then only you will get a nodding acquaintance of body language.

Bus halts, railway stations, class rooms, social functions and birthday parties are ideal places to observe people. When you observe you will soon realise how people try to dominate others and deceive unsuspecting persons.

When you are among others, known or unknown, look at their hands, Men hide their hands in their trouser pockets when they tell lies. However, when a woman tells a lie, she will avoid the subject or appear to be busy with various other activities.

There are a host of other signals to watch if you are keen on learning this subject. Hands, arms, legs, handshakes, the way you sit and other postures send out powerful signals. Even spitting is a part of body language. Very few women spit in public place. However, a large number of men is guilty of spiting in public places indiscriminately. If you see a man spitting on the road, he is certainly an uncultured person.

Even if you do not know anything about body language, you are conscious of your personal space. In buses and trains you resent when others press against you. Similarly, when you are in a lift, you try your best not to press against others. We do this without giving much thought to it, but we are conscious of our intimate zone.

Learning body language by reading books and observing others can be somewhat difficult at the beginning. However, constant practice will help you to master the finer points of this fascinating subject.