Tying the knot with the planets!

By Samangie Wettimuny

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When little Nathali recited “Twinkle twinkle little star” at the pre school, she would not have known the difference between a star and a planet. Later she would have got to know that though the stars do twinkle, the planets do not.

However the basics of astronomy taught her that Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn could be seen with the naked eye from the earth during different times of the year. But today she wishes she could make all of them invisible or rather she could place them in a different Solar System!

She says here she stands a much better chance than persuading her mother change her rigid decision.

She knew nothing of her ‘planetary positions’ when she fell in love with one of her batch mates whose favourite subject was astronomy! Ironically he simply loved to study the planets and the stars, but had no idea of (his) Venus and Mars which are ‘said’ to be positioned in ‘wrong’ places.

In fact it was Nathali’s mother who ‘discovered’ this, and of course well supported by her family astrologer. Since the pressure mounts from her parents that the affair should be stopped, she has nothing else to do than curse the entire solar system!

Anyway though her family astrologer has said that the marriage between the two won’t be a success, another (wellknown) astrologer who read their horoscopes had told Nathali that though the two horoscopes do not match very well, the weaknesses could be overcome by taking necessary precautionary measures.

Nathali was perhaps not so fortunate as my cousin who had a ‘narrow escape’ from her mother about ten years ago. At the time of my cousin’s marriage her mother did not have a ‘sound’ knowledge in astrology as she did not follow any classes those days!

“If she knew how to read horoscopes at that time she would have never let me marry him,” my cousin once said jokingly during one of the family gatherings.

Her ‘eminent’ astrology teacher has taught her very well how to study horoscopes and to analyse them, and now hardly does any ‘maleficence’ could escape her watchful eyes! According to her even my cousin’s star sign is a different one now,not the one she had, about ten years ago at the time of her marriage!

At a time like today when astrology is gradually becoming popular even in the West, it would not be a mere exaggeration if someone says that astrologers are the most sought-after in society! From the very early days man has always been fascinated by the stars and planets and has always tried to find a nexus between the movements of the planets and human destiny.

As believed by many, the karmic force a man carries is depicted through the positioning of planets in one’s horoscope and it is calculated from the time of his/her birth. An understanding of this relationship will help human beings plan their lives in advance and as a result they would undergo less strife in life.

But can a horoscope solely decide on one’s future partner? The emphasis made on horoscopes by many a person with matters related to marriage makes one even ponder whether emotional factors such as love and consent or social factors like class, caste or wealth play a significant role any longer in selecting a partner.

You might have already come across several similar instances like that of Nathali where parents interfere too much with the choice of their children, entirely depending on the words of the astrologer.

The girl who wants to marry a perfect man would be waiting forever. Similar is the plight of the parents who say ‘no’ to their children’s selection simply because they want to give him or her in marriage to a person whose horoscope is hundred per cent compatible with the one of their child’s.

Mrs. Manel Dasanayaka says that there should be at least 85% of compatibility. “As a Buddhist I believe in karma. One’s horoscope is designed on karma that he had committed in his previous births.” She believes that horoscope-matching is a must if it is an arranged marriage.

Through her own experience she tells me how his son is in a mess because they did not listen to the words of the family astrologer.

“The girl’s mother said that the two horoscopes are compatible according to their family astrologer. So I took her word.” Today she admits that she made a grave mistake by not paying any attention to the words of her astrologer.

“It is my son who ‘lost’, not the girl.” Her daughter-in-law is quick tempered and no one can control her. Thus she laments over the marriage of her son which is ‘on the rocks’.

However she says that horoscope matching is quite unnecessary if it is a love marriage. “What matters is love and mutual understanding.” As she says human beings do not fall in love with each and every one of the opposite sex. (Well, that do happen rarely!) Out of a lot, you may find one person appealing to you.

You fall in love with him or her. That is your choice. “It could even be an attachment that has been developing throughout Sansara. So we should accede to their request.”

But famous astrologer and Consultant editor of Subasetha, Piyasena Rathuvithana emphasizes that whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage it is quite necessary to get the horoscopes read. “What is more important is reading the horoscope. Not matching ‘porondam’. Horoscope matching (commonly known as ‘porondam baleema’) is checking whether the interests of the two are alike.”

The horoscope reveals the man as he is, not as he may pretend to be. So a clever astrologer could say what sort of a person he/she is-whether he is a cheat or a good person. Also it can reveal whether a person is fertile or not, whether he/she suffers from sexual impotency, whether he is a polygamist and also whether the person is homosexual or heterosexual. (Those are the major factors that should be considered in this context.)

He further said that it is even wrong to use the term ‘horoscope matching’ (porondam baleema). What should be done is reading (analysing) the horoscope after studying it thoroughly.

“For that you need an astrologer who knows the subject very well.” But he assured that hundred percent compatibility is only a dream. Parents should give priority only to major factors.”

Also if the person is of good character -not a playboy, criminal or a drunkard, that is a blessing. “So having considered all this one can select a partner. If there are astrologers who discard horoscopes for petty reasons then that is not good.”

“Astrology is a great science. It is one of the Chathurveda.” Rathuvithana who dismissed the views of charlatans with scorn added that mushrooming astrologers do much harm to the society than good. There should be a standard. In Sri Lanka any one can put up a name board and claim that he/she is an eminent astrologer after following few astrology classes.

An astrologer should always give a person an insight into his/her own character. When one is aware of his/her shortcomings, the person could take positive steps to overcome them. Mrs. Nalini Nanayakkara knows through experience that good understanding of astrology can be useful. Hers was a love marriage. About twenty years ago when both of them went to an astrologer for horoscope matching, they were told that horoscopes do not match well.

“But the marriage would not result in premature death of either partners,he assured. So we entered into marriage, determined to avoid unnecessary conflicts.” Throughout these twenty years they were able to overcome as many potential difficulties as possible by working things out in advance.

But horoscope has not done young Tharindu any good. His mother wants to give her younger sister in marriage first. So she is busy with matching horoscopes for her. He has his doubts whether it will be of any use as she has been doing that for the past six years. “I was born into a family who blindly worships horoscopes.”

He laments over the love affair that ended up in tragedy because of the interference of his parents. “I had to stop it because so many astrologers had advised my mother not to let me marry her.According to the girl’s horoscope her partner has to face premature death.” Now his worry is her mother’s inability to understand his necessity!

Some names have been changed.