Maggie, was an infant-schoolteacher, and on her first day with the 1st graders at a Primary School, a little girl gave her a note which said: 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of her parents.'

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Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?

Pupil: All of them!

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Teacher: I told you to stand at the end of the line ?

Pupil: I tried, but there was someone already there !

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Teacher: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass, but you’ve only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

Student: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

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Teacher: How is dew formed?

Student: Certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. Then the Sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

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Teacher: What is a planet?

Student: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

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One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."