My geography teacher used to say that the best way to bring a man
down is a sick wife, a house and land with a problematic deed and a run
down old car.
Come court day of the suit over the land with the bad deed, the poor
guy would attempt to start the car and would find that it made a
coughing sound every time he turned on the ignition.
Then he would be forced to ask his wheezing wife to push the rickety
old car. The car would cough a few times accompanied by the wheezing
sound of the wife pushing the car with all her might. By the time the
car got started, the poor old guy would have to rush his wife to the
hospital instead of going to court!
There is this crazy guy near one of my friend’s offices. He carries
this whistle every where he goes, you know the kind that traffic cops
blow their lungs out on.
Well this dude, who doesn’t quite look like the loony he really is,
during flights of his rare fancies would stand right in the middle of
the road and start directing traffic, to a dead end! The drivers would
curse and scold the guy to oblivion and go their own way.
Journalists are known for their love of booze. I’ve heard that some
journalists write better while they were in ‘high spirit’ so to say. One
such journalist was on his way home with another, more sober journalist
at the wheel. While passing a truck, these journos realized that it was
loaded with pumpkins.
 And the drunken journo yelled, “Hey man your pumpkins are falling
off.” The truck driver relieved that there were still a few good men in
existence, got off to inspect how many pumpkins he could salvage, only
to find that all the pumpkins were still snug inside the truck. The
journo at the wheel sped away cursing the effect booze could have on
journos.
One of our neighbours was unfortunate enough to go out one day on a
motorbike, with an expired driver’s license and an oblivious wife. Worst
of all, the cops stopped him at a check point! Fortunately he had his
revenue and license insurance.
But one of the cops kept insisting on the driver’s license. My
neighbour produced the license and waited for the bomb to drop. But
nothing happened.
The cop didn’t so much as glance at the license in his hand. You can
imagine the relief my neighbour felt when the cops said that they could
be on their way. He was visibly eager to get away before the cops
realized their mistake.
But the oblivious wife took her time asking what the huge rush was.
Reproaching her under his breath, for her ignorance my neighbour got
on the motorbike and started off. He chided her for some time, saying
that he had not renewed the license and that she should have known
enough not to question and just got on the bike.
After a lapse of some minutes, a lack of reaction from his wife
forced him to turn back, only to see that his wife was not sitting
behind him! In his relief and hurry to get away from the cops he has
left his wife behind! He immediately turned his bike around.
When he reached her she has already set off in the direction her
husband went. Our poor neighbour ultimately had to endure his red faced
and fuming wife’s reprimand all the way home. |
