Stupid earthling
Paddy the Earthling: We put a man on the moon in 1969.
Paddy the Martian: Big deal! We’re going to send a team to the Sun.
Paddy the Earthling: You’re mad! They’ll be burned up before they
even get close.
 Paddy the Martian: We’re not that stupid! We’re sending them up at
night!
The drill sergeant
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was
walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die
you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge...no
Sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand
in another line!”
 Great trade
A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under
his arm.
His friend Randy stops him and asks, “Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case
of beer for?”
“Well, I got it for my wife, you see?” answers Dave. “Wow,” exclaims
Randy, “Great trade”.
What kind of pepper?
A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room
service for some pepper.
“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.
“Toilette pepper!”
A bad nail
Two blonde carpenters were working on a house. The one who was
nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and
either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other, figuring this
was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”
The first explained, “If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s
pointed towards me, I throw it away ‘cause it’s defective. If it’s
pointed towards the house, then I nail it in!” The second blonde got
completely upset and yelled, “You moron! The nails pointed towards you
aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house!” |
