Can we talk?

Where fruits and women ripen early

"The best judge of whether or not a country is going to develop is how it treats its women. If it's educating its girls, if women have equal rights, that country is going to move forward. But if women are oppressed and abused and illiterate, then they're going to fall behind". - BARACK OBAMA, Ladies' Home Journal, Sep. 2008

I believe, it was Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936) who said, after a one day lightning visit to the island of Ceylon as Sri Lanka was then known, that he was in a country where fruits and women ripen early.

The very fact that; with the speed of lightning; Kipling, by then a celebrated celebrity, was able to notice thus; speaks volumes of praise for both - the fruits; and, the women of this once serene and serendipity of an island - long ago called - Serendip. It was Horace Walpole (circa 1754) who coined the term serendipity, on reading the novel 'The Three Princes of Serendip'.

The word means: the faculty of happening upon or making fortunate discoveries when not in search of them. In fact, this is what happens to the heroes of 'The Three Princes of Serendip' who make such discoveries.

The reason why the then serendipity of an island became the present horrondipity of an island, with the faculty of happening upon or making unfortunate and alarming discoveries when not in search of them, is a matter for readers to ponder.

Presently; I presume that all of you would know what a fruit is; and, most would have noticed how early or quickly they mature in our country. But women? How many of us can claim to know a woman comprehensively? Yes indeed! We all know that they are the female of the species called homo sapiens. Most would also know that they are as sweet, if not sweeter, than our fruits.

But, to know them truly, as one would perceive the fruit of food, is beyond the reach of the best of scholars of womenfolk. Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions and I suppose, at best we could say: 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

I am aware that, unlike men, a woman cannot be herself in the society of the present day, which is an exclusively masculine society, with laws framed by men and with a judicial system that judges feminine conduct from a masculine point of view. Neither will I subscribe to the view, commonly held, that women - so delicate, so glorious and wondrous a feature in an otherwise tedious world of men; so agreeable and so delightful to mankind; and furnished with such charms that men stoop and swoop to conquer; with souls capable of the same accomplishments as men; and all the rest of the goodness that I might have missed out - are fit only to be stewards of our houses, cooks, and slaves.

What the men of our country do not understand is that women feel just as men feel; they need to exercise their faculties, and exhibit their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and polsambol, to playing on the piano and the fiddle.

It is said that women's eyes have pierced more hearts than ever did the bullets of war. Women best exemplify creation and the hope of man to achieve everlastingness. I quote: "The angel of the Family is Woman. Mother, wife, or sister, Woman is the caress of life, the soothing sweetness of affection shed over its toils, a reflection for the individual of the loving providence which watches over Humanity.

In her there is treasure enough of consoling tenderness to allay every pain. Moreover for every one of us she is the initiator of the future.

The mother's first kiss teaches the child love; the first holy touch of the woman he loves teaches man hope and faith in life; and love and faith create a desire for perfection and the power of reaching towards it step by step; create the future, in short, of which the living symbol is the child, link between us and the generations to come.

Through her the Family, with its divine mystery of reproduction, points to Eternity." - Giuseppe Mazzini.

In the opinion of my friends, I'm supposed to have better than the knowledge of a PhD. holder on the subject of women.

But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them.

In spite of all what I have said afore, my readers should not get carried away with the idea that I know more about women than they do.

In fact, my knowledge of them is as confused as that of Sigmund Freud who said:

"The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is What does a woman want?" I wouldn't dare press God for an answer to that. One thing I know for certain is that in revenge and in love, woman is more barbaric than man is. William Shakespeare said: "Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal."

As a result of this duality, a woman's whole life is a history of the affections. The tragedy of their life is that all women tend to become like their mothers at some stage in their life.

However, the strength of women comes from the fact that psychology cannot explain them to us. Men can be analyzed; women, merely adored. Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

From birth to eighteen, a girl needs good parents, from eighteen to thirty-five she needs good looks, from thirty-five to fifty-five she needs a good personality, and from fifty-five on she needs cash. Why? Because, in a world dominated by men - where the explorers were men, the landholders and merchants-men, the political leaders-men, the military figures-men - it is possible to forget half the population of the country. The very invisibility of women, the overlooking of women, is a sign of their submerged and submissive status.

If women are to be truly equal to men, then they should be economically empowered. Financial independence of women will bring on her true personality and perhaps enable us to understand and appreciate them better.

As mentioned in previous articles of mine, I have had the good fortune in life to have had extraordinary and outstanding teachers who not only taught us the designated subjects, but also many things about life - some in a lighter vein. One such memorable character was Mr. Mac Knight. Scottish by birth, but converted to the world order through his countless exploits in life, he was my chemistry master at Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin College (better known as SOAS College) - the foremost co-educational school at that time in the State of Brunei. Because of him, and because of our love of him, the whole class did exceptionally well in chemistry - proof of what a good teacher is capable of. I remember once, on the subject of women, discussed after our practicals, he defined woman from the point of view of a chemist.

It went something like this: Element - Woman; Symbol - 0+; Discoverer - Adam; Atomic Mass - Accepted as 55 kg but known to vary from 45 to 225 kg. Physical properties: Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint. Boils at absolutely nothing and freezes for no apparent reason. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore. Chemical properties: Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones; explodes spontaneously without reason or warning. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man. Common use: Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars; but can greatly aid relaxation. Hazards: Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.

Well readers, see you this day next week. Until then, keep thinking, keep laughing. Life is mostly about these two activities.For views, reviews, encomiums and brick-bats:

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