India’s first transgender celebrity :

Her trauma from ‘Ramesh to Rose’

By Shanika Sriyananda

Beautiful sandy beaches, hospitable people and the peaceful environment brought Rose to Sri Lanka,the destination which she selected to film her latest music album ‘Chocolate Roses’.

Rose is not just another female artiste but India’s first transgender celebrity, coming from a wealthy business family.. In an interview with the Sunday Observer Rose Venkatesan who spoke about the beauty of Sri Lanka and her traumatic past to become a woman, requested people to look at them as human beings and not to throw them into dark corners and make their lives miserable.

She gained popularity in Tamil Nadu with her TV talk show ‘Ippadikku Rose’ - Yours truly, Rose where she talks about social issues including traditions, taboos, rebels and culture telecast on Vijaya TV.

‘Transgender persons are not welcome in India though they exist in India and around the world including Sri Lanka, where nobody has come out t properly present themselves as women mainly because of Sri Lanka’s cultural taboos. It was the same in India, but what happened was that no matter what society had to say these people are coming out in their natural form and to live their true lives’, she said.

One could mistake transgender persons as being gay but Rose said ‘NO, this is not so’. She said it was not an ‘artificial desire’ but comes from the inner being and is due to a ‘mistake’ in genetics.

When Ramesh Babu Venkatesan was five years he began displaying his girlish nature, when he cried for dolls and was mingling more with his younger sister, without playing with his two older brothers. The femininity in him brought the boy a rather happy and enjoyable feeling and he started taking a liking to wear his sister’s clothes.

As a child, I loved applying mums make-up and felt comfortable playing with other girls mostly. No one was aware of the ‘girl’ in Ramesh when I was in school as I was a cute, plump boy. My mother, though she saw a difference in her third son kept mum as she couldn’t believe and also in fear of social taboos, Rose said.

With name-calling and verbal abuse at the boys school he struggled to be ‘Ramesh’.

He continued to feel that he was a girl but hid his true inner nature as society would not accept the ‘she’ in him. “The delay in coming out as a woman was a blessing in disguise as I was able to live more with my family and also study well. But sometimes I feel: Oh my God I should have come out much earlier and I should have studied with my true identity as a girl. I lived my half of the youth hiding my true nature, she said adding that if she changed at that time he would be ridiculed, becoming a laughing stock and also the institutions would not allow him to study.

Education

After his high school education in Sri Ramakrishna Mission in Chennai, he studied Mechanical Engineering at Sathyabama Engineering College and went to the US to study Biomedical Engineering at Louisiana Tech University and also worked as a website designer before returning home.

However, Rose’s path to recognition was not so rosy, as she hails from a society where a transgendere person is tagged as a ‘hijara’, meaning immoral and evil. “but we are not immoral, evil dirty or prostitutes”, she says.

Those who suspected my ‘girly’ behaviour used some nasty words and life was hell and I could not come out because even my mother was not in a state to accept me. So how will the others take to me? But I compelled myself to do well in my studies as I felt a good education was the way out. I always topped batch and was one of the best students. But some of my teachers who felt that there was a difference in me, used to say that I had become a boy by mistake, Rose said.

But when Ramesh was in the US doing his Masters, he was determined to expose his true identity as he met a lot of others who bravely came forward to reveal the truth.

Returning from the US , he first announced it to his family, which was shocked and broke in tears and were the first to start harrasing him. Instead of understanding the gender issue in him, which he had come to terms with his parents arranged a girl for him to marry, which he turned down. Then they began hiding ‘his’ clothes which were for women. Then they sought the assistance of astrologers and psychiatrists to help him to change his desire to become a woman. But nothing could prevent him becoming a ‘she’.

Finally he was thrown out of his house by his parents. “That terrific moment still haunts me. My mother was first to push me out of the house and I had nowhere to go and knowing the agony of transgender persons when they are pushed out of their homes. I drew courage to stand up against all odds before me,” Her voice begins to quiver and she became emotional.

Shelter

“When I was pushed out of the house nobody wanted to save me. Nobody talked on my behalf and nobody was willing to give me shelter. Even the ‘Maha Bharatha’ refers to transgender people but people still hate us and tease us. I am happy now that there is a change, after I took this bold decision and it took time for people to understand our plight,” she quipped.

Clad in a dress, she sought refuge in a place where a charity was run by transgender people for people like her. Ramesh also found a job for a very low salary despite his educational qualifications. He lived in the kitchen of the NGO that gave him the job for a monthly salary of Rs. 5,000, a very low salary for a professional like him, who should be earning Rs. 35,000 monthly.

These people can’t find a job or even a house to rent, though they have the money, they are humiliated and teased everywhere they go.

The shocking fact is that in India is that men are trying to use these people as sex slaves, while ill treating them. These people refer to them as being social evils but the same men will approach them in the night, she was determined to bring justice to these transgender folk”, she said.

Own research

Ramesh, the bio-medical engineer, started doing his own research on transgender as Indian medical doctors refused to give medical advice to him. He started getting female hormones on his own and grew his hair while dressing in a more glamorous way than what women wear. The ‘woman’ in Ramesh slowly started appearing and ‘she’ approached the media, which she thought was the easiest way to gain recognition, but instead Vijaya TV and all the other TV stations shut their doors to him.

Ippadikku Rose - Yours, Rose, TV show gave birth to ‘Rose Ventakasan’, who has been able to bring a change to transgender persons in India. This also brought some achievement in her personal life: the most significant is that some of the family members and relatives who pushed her out have opened doors to her as she is one among popular in Chennai.

She underwent a sex transformation surgery in Bangkok, Thailand by a cosmetic surgeon, who performed a penile amputation as well as a vaginoplasty to completely change her into a woman.

After this operation I feel so much like a womon, Rose, who won the two beauty titles Miss Sahodaran 2007 and Miss Snegyitham 2007 and also conducted radio shows like BIG FM 92.7 and the afternoon show ‘Rosudan Pesungal’ -Speak with Rose, said.

Rose, who went through hell not due to her fault, is now happy and feels her struggle worthwhile and that she won after two and a half decades.

Recognition

Today, she said, even the Indian government is considering their right to life and transgenders are slowly gaining recognition.

Rose has many dreams. They are to participate in more media programs, to release more albums not just in India but internationally, to set up an entertainment-based production house, to start a technology-based business using her education, act in a film, to enter politics and finally, according to her, the most precious dream to have a family, where she can adopt a child.

Once cheated in a love affair where the ‘boy’ showed her true love while having plans for marriage, Rose said it caused immense pain after he left her. Men in India, wants transgender women to be their secret lovers.

But I don’t want to be someone’s ‘secret darling’ and need to select a person who can marry me legally, Rose said that she doesn’t want anyone to humiliate her or for anyone to have odd looks about her anymore.

The 31-year-old still cries for her mother’s love. Pushed out at the age of 24, Rose has still failed to win her mums heart and while the rest of her family talks and invites her to family functions, her mother does not talk to her and doesn’t want to see her.

Rose pleads that parents with children who have such different behaviour should stand up for their rights and create an environment to prevent them from being subject to humiliation and should not be teased and become a laughing stock. Accept them as they are and it is not something they like but nature has created them with different inner feelings, especially given a life with a masculine body and a female mind. They need parents to protect them from social evils.

“I also want transgender people to be educated, as it is a way to get normality and also to stand on their own feet. Otherwise, they, especially in India will end up being harassed and lead a ‘painful’ life and being humiliated.

Had I not been educated, begging and prostitution may have been the only two choices, she said.

I am still dreaming to hear my mum calling me: ‘babu’ come my darling. I am there for you”, tears glistened in her eyes!