Why witter and waffle?

Most of us witter when we do not have any important work to do. We talk for a long time about things that are not important to anybody. Sometimes, it becomes a favourite pastime to while away the time. Similarly, some people waffle without giving any useful information or any clear answers. Wittering is a minor vice because what else can people do when they have nothing important to think of? However, waffling is a major vice because even an author can write a lot without giving any useful information or clear answers.

Once a professional reviewer received a book for his comments in the newspaper. The author was a well-known person in the art field. The first paragraph of the book ran as follows: “History of Sri Lanka is a palladium of events virtually colouring the embodiment of religious activities within the opportunities of political unrest. Obviously the reasons confirm the advantages and disadvantages morally and physically bent on the ‘Culture’ of the people with a smooth upbringing of spiritual thoughts within the flames of contradictions. Nevertheless, the contribution to the outer-world was morally and physically decreed within the frame of Buddhism and the morals of Theravada as a unique experiment of ‘culture’ of the Sinhalese not forgetting the past and the ideological background.”

Sigh of relief

After reading the introductory paragraph, the reviewer tossed the book into the nearest dustbin and heaved a sigh of relief!

The propensity of certain people to witter and waffle and inflate plain language into a meaningless form of expression is recognised today as ‘gobbledegook’ or ‘gobbledygook’. There is a heavy load of witter words in the language we use today. They clog the writing giving neither information nor meaning. Some of the witter words we come across are: “as a matter of fact, at this moment in time, by and large, each and every, having said that, I am of the opinion, in view of the fact that, needless to say, one and the same” and “the fact of the matter.” The list can go on ad infinitum!

Without the witter words, speakers and writers can use the language in a more forceful way. However, this hardly happens because students are not taught how to wield the language powerfully.

Vague utterances

The second ingredient of gobbledegook is waffle. In this instance, the speaker or the writer wanders aimlessly along a path using wordy and vague utterances. In normal parlance, we call this verbal diarrhoea. But linguists have come up with a better word: “Logorrhoea.”

Authors are not the only people who use gobbledegook. The former US President George W. Bush was an acknowledged master of it. Most of the time, he spoke, not to give information, but to obscure what he said.

Once a journalist wanted to know his ideas on improving the standard of education. President Bush said, “Well, I’m going to kick that one right into the end zone of the Secretary of Education. But, yes, we have all - he travels a good deal, goes abroad. We have a lot of people in the department that does that.

“We’re having an international - this is not as much education as dealing with the environment - a big international conference coming up. And we get it all the time, exchanges of ideas. But I think we’ve got - we set out here - and I want to give credit to your Governor McWherter and to your former governor, Lamar Alexander - we’ve gotten great ideas for a national goals programme from - in this country - from the governors who were responding to maybe, the principal of your high school, for heaven’s sake.”

Maverick edict

The Texas Congressman Maury Maverick was one of the few men who angrily condemned the bloated bureaucratic language known today as gobbledegook. In 1944, as the head of a federal agency, Maverick told his subordinates, “Be short and say what you are talking about.” However, more than half a century later, it seems that the Maverick edict has had little impact. Bureaucrats, politicians, authors and art critics have found it difficult to get rid of gobbledegook.

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars,” wrote Oscar Wilde about life. The same applies to language. We all make mistakes, but some of us at least try to maintain standards. If people who matter cannot use the language clearly, schools and universities should share the blame. Without leaving such a responsibility on someone else’s shoulders, we can speak and write clearly and to the point by linking our language to that of the giants of the English tongue. With their inspiration, most of us will be able to use English as clearly and beautifully as possible.

“What do you use for fuel?” someone asked a South American engineer. “Sometimes coal; sometimes wood; but more often the catalogues of your American manufacturers and mail order houses which are printed in a language we do not understand.”