Let marriage grow like a tree!

Some of us are lucky to have been born in the 20th century and continue to live in the 21st century. Those who were born six or seven decades ago will realise that the world has undergone a sea change. Science and technology have brought us creature comforts such as washing-machines, air-conditioned offices and luxury modes of travel. All that is marvellous. But some of us feel that certain areas of life are drifting in the wrong direction.

Our settlement in the urban areas leaving the salubrious countryside has led to the splitting of family life. We work in the asphalt jungle, drinking bottled water and eating fast food. We occasionally visit villages to meet our kith and kin, but we fail to see how the trees have aged over the years. Even some of our parents and grandparents still enjoy farming and roaming in the wilds, enjoying the bountiful gifts of nature.

In the city we earn money, spend lavishly on trinkets, shift our houses or move into flats and apartments. Eventually, we become virtual prisoners of our own houses. While living in high-rise buildings, we look through the window to feast our eyes on trees and flowers. But we see only huge apartments and hotels coming up all around us.

Vicious cycle

Then we want a change. We are carried away by colourful advertisements announcing the availability of various household goods. We fill our houses with modern furniture and electrical goods, thinking that they would bring us happiness. Soon we grow weary of them. Sometimes, we get rid of them only to buy a new set of furniture and fancy items. We do not realise that we have been caught in a vicious cycle.

Like trees, married couples also grow old and get gnarled

Amid all these changes, we begin to lead stressful lives. We spend long hours in work places or do more than two jobs to make ends meet. Musical set-ups, cable television, cinema, theatre and clubs will take our boredom away for some time. However, we feel that we are missing the joys of life.

What is more, some of us want to “renew” our marriages by getting a divorce from our spouses. While our parents and grandparents live together in villages till death, we want to split from our partners. The divorce rate in the city appears to be on the increase. A divorce will put the husband and wife asunder and their children become the ultimate victims.

Solemn vows

The husband leaves his wife for another woman. And the wife feels it is high time she left her husband. Without any hesitation, they go their own ways. If you ask them why they do so, they will say, “We thought it best.” What had happened to those solemn vows that the couples had stammered on their happiest day a few years ago? What happened to the joy of their honeymoon?

Breaking the marriage bonds and leaving your spouse is like abandoning the foundation of a building project, piled bricks and cement and a gash in the ground left to depress the passer-by. When our grandparents got married, they also made their vows, but they learned to live together. They knew they were stuck, and it was better to be stuck comfortably than putting an end to it.

We are living in an age in which men and women can enjoy sex without getting married. Like the great British philosopher Bertrand Russell, couples move from one marriage to another, looking for the best partner. Modern man may think this is social progress. While the divorce rate is rising, most couples live together without getting married so that they can move away without any legal impediment.

Today, most married couples fail to see that the advantages of spending a lifetime with a person is seeing each other grow and change. Perhaps the most poignant victim of the 21st century is our sense of continuity. Our grandparents used to grow up with trees. They watched how trees evolved from saplings to fruit-bearers. In the long run, both trees and grandparents stuck together until they became gnarled and unproductive. So, there’s great joy in watching a tree grow because like trees, married couples also grow old and get gnarled. Till then they should stick together!