Walking down memory lane

by Ivan Anandappa

It was clean fun when we watched the movies of our young days. Some of the dialogues and jokes remain etched in my memory.

I remember when my pal and I saw Blood and Sand which starred Tyrone Power as a bull fighter. He was gored by a vicious snorting bull and lay almost dying and someone said he might die. Tyrone Power bravely proclaimed.

"The cow who will give birth to the bull that can kill me is still not born.” That was quite a brave statement even for an actor.

There were the road films. Road to Zanzibar and Road to Morocco. All of them were comedies. There was Bob Hope with his jocular looks and quick funny remarks. Bing Crosby with his wise cracking and million dollar voice and that lovable “Sarong Girl” Dorothy Lamour were a trio of fun.

I remember Bob Hope saying in one of the films. “Folks, now is the time to go out and get your popcorn. Bing is about to sing “Bob had a wisecracking mania. When Bob and Bing were driving in an open jeep two vultures came and rested on the top of the jeep. Bob turned around and shooed them off saying, “Get off, get off Martin and Lewis”.

In another film a comedian asked his partner, “Do you have an open mind”?

“Yes, I had” His pal said, looking very sad. “But I closed it”.
“Why?” asked his friend.
“My brain dropped off.”

Action scenes

I remember films from the time I started going to the movies. The films had action scenes that were real. I had a collection of Motion Picture and Picturegoer magazines. There was a small house in Darley Road on the way to the Olympia Cinema.

The verandah had been converted into a shop selling movie magazines and leaflets. I was a regular customer from my school going days.

Till 1952 it was Godfrey and I were friends. He was two years older than me and at 18 he got himself a job in the Postal Department as a clerk. He had no responsibilities whatsoever as his mother was well heeled. Godfrey was her only son. She gave whatever he asked for. I noticed that she had a soft spot for me. She was an ardent race fan. Her father had left her a pot of money in the bank and she used to get lucky at the race course. She always called me Putha. When I told this to my father, he just smiled.

My mother was an old Bridgeteen and it was difficult to pull the wool over her eyes. She told me that my father and Godfrey's mother were relations and were school friends. They were too friendly, she said. Anyway Godfrey and I were inseparables.Till 1952, he most of the time paid for the tickets. I was still studying at college. In 1952 Godfrey got married and went to reside at Pannipitiya. That put paid to our movie going. After that whenever I could find time I went on my own.

Comedies

I really enjoyed comedies and comedians. Red Shelton was a good comedian. I remember in a film how he told his friend he was doped. They put dope in a syringe and doped me”. His friend said, “Stay calm. Sit down.” Red said, “I can't sit down”, Why can't you?”

“Where do you think they stuck the needle.” Timmy Durante sang a song called umbreyago, his dialogues were funny. “Son, if, I, told, you once, I told you a ten times”.

After he finished his song he sat on the bass side of the piano keys and a chord sounded. He looked at the audience and said in surprise and happiness. “I found the lost chord”. He looked at everyone. “That's funny, I found the lost chord by sitting on the piano. But I usually play by ear.

Danny Kaye was a good comedian. The Secret of Walter Mitty was a trilogy. He happened to drive his car in front of a cinema and see a hoarding which depicted a tough looking cowboy with a gun in a low-slung holster. He was wearing a checked ginham shirt and all other paraphernalia of a cowboy. He stopped the car, placed his head on the steering wheel sideways, kept looking at the billboard and imagined. His imagination ran wild.

He was Mitty the Kid in town. Town folks ran hither and thither yelling “Mitty the Kid in town".

He walks down Main Street and is challenged by a fast gun outlaw. He outdrew the gunman and shot him between the eyes and the gunman lay sprawled dead on the street. Danny's head on the steering he was in his make believe world when a host of drivers behind him started tooting their horns as he was blocking the road. This brought him back from his reverie.

He quietly took off. In The Inspector General when he was asked what his duties were he simply said, “An inspector General generally inspects generals.”

Never smiled

According to a magazines Buster Keaton, the old comedian, never smiled in any of his films.

I saw one film in which he was rowing a long boat in the lake and when he came ashore he hadn't been rowing, he had been walking in the lake with the boat fixed on to his waist horizontal while he walked vertical. It was funny.

A news reel announced the presence of one of our late prime ministers at a conference. The foreign announcer made a bloomer that made everybody in the auditorium roar in laughter louder than the M.G.M. Lion.

He mispronounced the name as Sir John Kothelawalar. Sir John too would have enjoyed a good laugh. When Sir John was watching an air display at Ratmalana, one of his lady friends sitting by him, said, “John, look at bom-bers. He said don't say that. The ‘b’ is silent “Oh! Oh!” she said and shouted. “John, John, look at those ombers” Sir John laughed the loudest.

Musicals

Comedies were just nice as musicals. Cowboy and underworld movies were stories written by Damon Runyon. His Italian English books were readable, enjoyable and funny.

John Dillinger and George Raft played the role of Al Capone and Motion Picture or Picture-Goer magazine gave full information of everybody and everything that went on, the happenings in Hollywood, that George nearly lost his life when he was mistaken for Al Capone and shot at. They had a world of information. John Derek was introduced as a junior delinquent in Knock on Any Door. When he was charged in court his lawyer said, Knock on any door and you'll find a Nick Romano.

I have seen every John Wayne film. John was the best. Every picture-goer has his likes and dislikes and opinions and of course criticisms.

Hurricane with Jon Hall Rainbow Island with Barry Sullivan and Dorothy Lamour in ‘Aloma of the South seas’ remind me of my cousin Francis who lived with us. He knew all about the Duke and Johnny.

The Duke Kahanamoku the pride of all Hawaii

Stepping on the ocean.
Without the slightest notion
He became a lama
Through all the great Kaluwa
Oni ya oni ikka mo
Eh am may are may ya
He conquered the island sea
The Duke Kahanamoku
He conquered all the waters
And became the king of swimmers
Oni ya oni ikka mo.

This was sung in praise of the Duke. He was the Olympic Gold Medal winner for 100 mts free style swimming in 1921. Johnny swam in the jungle wearing a span cloth killing crocodiles for nearly 20 years. He was Tarzan.

The writer is an octogenarian.