Behind Closed Doors

Ambitious all-Rounders, Old Somé & Hero, and a General contemplates surrender

by Rasputin

General to surrender?

Irked by criticism over some vital cases, the General of Law has made up his mind to vacate his office early next year by not seeking a service extension.

“Enough is enough,” the General told one of his junior officers behind closed doors at a recent dinner party in Colombo.

“I have nothing to do with politicians although my name has often been linked to them,” he lamented, saying he has become a victim of his own job.

The General has also expressed his utter disappointment with the conduct of the news media, stating there was a hate-campaign against him, initiated by “some newspapers”.

This unexpected revelation by the General of Law means that there will be a keen contest among his subordinates in the department for the top post in the coming months.

“But this lamentation does not exonerate him from the fact that his department dragged its feet on some investigations against powerful figures of the previous government,” a person, who is well aware of gossip emanating from the corridors of the department said.

Old Somé and the Hero

In a dramatic twist of destinies, Old Somé, ex-boss of the one-time revolutionary Bell party, is to initiate a dialogue with Hero-wansa a.k.a. ‘Pachawansa’ on forming a common political alliance in the near future.

Old Comrades no longer behind closed doors sarcastically recall the time when Hero-wansa was expelled from the Bell party then under the leadership of Old Somé a few years ago.

“And today, these two drop-outs are all set to form a new alliance!” an old Comrade murmured derisively.

Politics, after all, compels people to sleep with strange bedfellows.

The Bell party’s rumour mill was agog with the news that Old Somé and the Hero were planning to form a new front, probably to counter their own party. “Pachawansa anyway had opportunistic tendencies and he will associate with anyone as long as it’s beneficial to him.

But, Old Somé should go and get his brain checked before forming this alliance,” a Bell party politburo member quipped when he heard about the planned alliance.

Ambitous all-rounders

A former Chief Minister and now a parliamentarian of the Blue party, who hails from a notably rotund political family in Gampaha, is upbeat over a prediction by an astrologer who rose to fame during the Presidential polls.

The astrologer, who is known to many in media circles, had earlier correctly predicted the downfall of the former royal family before the Presidential polls early this year.

The astrologer has now predicted that the politico from Gampaha will be the Prime Minister of the country in 2020 under a new government led by the Blues. Elated by this astrological prediction, the politico is now attempting to consolidate his position in the blue party as a future leader.

Party insiders were earlier mystified by this politico’s recent declining of a ministerial portfolio. They now speculate that it is the blind faith in the stars that led the ambitious politico to disdain such posts in the new government whereas other staunch backers of the former king were quick to jump sides and grab portfolios.

However, as Blue insiders gloat, the biggest problem faced by the rotund political family of Gampaha is numbers – it has many more politically ambitious siblings and other kin than the one-time royal family. What makes it even more complicated for the ‘all-rounder’ family is that it has its siblings and kin distributed all around the political landscape with siblings across parliamentary battle lines.

“If and when the astro prediction comes true, they will take the ‘family rule’ concept to a whole new level,” an insider of the Blue camp chuckled while sipping tea at the Darley Road headquarters.

Politicos at play

Handun and Ranja, both outspoken members of the Diyawanna House, had a gala time recently when they travelled abroad together for official purposes. Leaving aside ideological differences, they wined and dined together, while clicking away selfies like two teenage girls! And they even shared the photographs with their friends.

During the tour, however, Handun’s red ideology did not prevent him from enjoying capitalist luxuries - which he officially shuns in public back home. Ranja, living up to the ideals of his liberal democratic kana-bona party, had quality time with his Diyawanna colleague.

It has long been whispered behind closed doors that the Green party and the Bell party had an under-the-radar rendezvous during the period of the ‘king-ship’ election in January.

Ranja and Handun’s cavorting together shows that even nine months down the line, that ‘understanding’ between the two parties still remains intact.

Interesting times, no?