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| Sunday, 25 January 2004 |
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| News Business Features Editorial
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Exit all - here come the sounds of jBiz Light Refractions by Lucien Rajakarunanayake X-it, Wildfire, Misty take note, its exit time for you and other top ranking groups in the popular music business. There's a new name on the scene and it's gonna beat all of you. Yeah, it's the beat of jBiz the guys in bizz with the latest in musical and entertainment know how, to get all of Sri Lankan yuppies or others stoned on profit, to groove, wriggle, jump, rock, roll, or fall with sheer delight to the Stock Market Beat or the Chamber Rap. Just wrap it up you other guys. Go play in the small hotels or clubs, or try you luck at the "Sangeetha Sandharshanas" with the hope there is no grenade thrown while you play. You just won't stand a chance with the new genre of music of these jBiz guys there's enough of the crazy in their thoughts, leave alone the distorted rhythms they play, said to be the sound of the new upbeat generation. And jBiz has great ambitions too, not just confined to music or all that horrendous, jarring ear-splitting noise that passes off for music in most places these days. It wants to be the Third Force in the country. The third political force; not the third in music. That's a great ambition for those in pop music. And, don't we know how these third forces become parts or appendages of first forces, and are either swallowed up by the First Force, or make the First Force dance to the tune of the Third. We are just at the beginning of the process unravelling itself, once again. That's the current political beat that's on the swing. They've got quite a repertoire, these jBiz guys. They are now mastering the skills of "peaceful demonstration". What they wish to demonstrate about is another matter, but you can be sure it will need some cosmetic work and plenty of fashion rehearsals, before they really get on with the act. It's all in the interest of good business, said to be under dire threat today. So the beauticians and fashion houses can look forward to better days as jBiz gets their peaceful demonstration act in place. After all, what decent member of any Chamber of Commerce or Industry, or one's spouse or partner, would want to demonstrate in one's day-to-day outfit, office clothes or even in smart casual? We are told jBiz is busy designing a very special kit in step with the threatening beat of the "Peaceful Demo" number, now being rehearsed in their studios. There is also the "Down Tools Strike" that is rising fast on the jBiz charts. It's that specially striking musical effect of every businessman worth his starched shirt and every businesswomen worth her latest hairdo closing one's designer briefcase or handbag; the thrilling sound of computer silence in all offices of Big Bizz, and most important the absence of all that board room chatter or the often inane remarks made by clients during ad agency presentations. That's the music of the "Down Tools Strike" jBiz is working so hard to perfect these days. Not that anyone will give a damn about all that absence of activity by the Buzz guys of Bizz, at a time when everyone who is making a profit make the loudest noises about the economy being in very bad shape. But jBiz has it all in the making to keep you entertained. They are even planning a "Go Slow" number before the real strike gets going. "Hootin - Tootin" is another number on the jBiz card. It's nothing very novel, being lifted straight from those Latin American middle class protesters, who tooted the horns of their cars at a fixed time one day as a mark of protest against their rulers. That was about the high cost of living, corruption and rising unemployment. The problem that jBiz has with this is that the tooting of vehicle horns is nothing strange here, being a major noise pollutant already. The idea of "Hootin-Tootin" is in sync with Big Bizz, because it is mostly successful business people with more than one or two cars who keep tooting their horns in anger at every real or imagined trishaw threat they see on the road, and cannot avoid the habit of tooting one's car horn to mark the split second between the traffic light turning from amber to green. While jBiz is busy putting "Hootin-Tootin" into some sort of rhythm or noise that will be different to other loud noises heard from the best of over amplified pop-groups, there are concerns about who will be affected by the beat. If it is about the high cost of living, runaway corruption and rising unemployment, then it will amount to a protest against their patrons at the Green Elephant, and that's just not done say many. Right on top of the jBiz chart is that unbeatable number "The Tax Revolt". The lyrics and music are by a special interest group who propose that those in business stop paying taxes, in protest at what goes on in government. "The Tax Revolt" is bound to be at the top for a pretty long time, at least until the next tax amnesty is granted, waiving off all unpaid and to be paid taxes, customs and excise duties and even local rates. I'm told the drummer plays the lead in this piece of real pop, beating out the rhythm of a revolt against taxes, by those well experienced in not paying them. According to the Movers & Shakers of jBiz, 'The Tax Revolt" is real bad, if you get what I mean. "It's the stuff that's been waiting to be put into song and beat" they say. They are certain that wherever it is played, "The Tax Revolt" will get the people off their butts and on to the floor to carry out a real war dance of protest at being taxed so much, by a government so benign to the interests of business. "We won't pay", "we won't pay" is the loud refrain from the audience as jBiz hammers away at the rhythm at a decibel level that will even wake up that Man of Last Year, Mr. Choksy, from the deepest of slumber. There's much more on the playlist of jBiz that's very exciting and bound to echo for long in the minds of those who hear them perform. There's a very special place for the "Channel Tunnel". It's a novel piece of music, with many a crescendo of noise for best effect. "Channel Tunnel" is the thinking of those who propose that instead of paying taxes to government, what will be paid as taxes are channeled into a Trust to be managed by the private sector for the people's welfare. It must be a wonderful piece of music, where the private sector does anything for the welfare of the people, those broad masses; the millions living below the poverty line. "Trust us, trust us, trust us" is the refrain to this daring piece, with special choreography for those who dance to its beat, to show that the rich could be trusted with money meant for the welfare of the people. There are already stories afloat that the whole idea of this Channel Trust Fund did not come from the World Bank or IMF, but from a consortium of local business people, who still have their connections with key figures at Enron, Worldcom, Arthur Andersen and also Parmalat, the latest Italian black hole in public funds. They are said to be fully supportive of the jBiz "Channel Tunnel" and have assured jBiz that if they get the music and words right, they can be sure of hitting the top ten and even beyond the MTV and other pop ratings in the US and the West. There's also a chance of jBiz striking Platinum with soaring sales. jBiz will provide the rhythm to the "Channel Tunnel", while the proposed Channel Trust itself will be managed by local; agents of this group of fund siphon specialists from Enron and similar names in groovy game of vanished funds. There are funny pieces on the jBiz line up too. One is a determined "Don't give dammit, don't". It's based on the thinking of those in Big Bizz who say don't contribute to political party funds. The chorus says "Don't ask us, we won't tell". It's because those who propose the non-contribution to party funds, have not disclosed a way of knowing who has contributed or not. It can't be a surprise to jBiz that most of these touch-me-nots always contribute to both sides and often to the Third Force too. The last time I met the jBiz sound mixer, he told me they were working hard on a piece that will give an opportunity for the scoundrel sons of politicians, whether ministers or not, to get on stage and work out all that sausage and junk food energy by doing a number that goes "Hit 'em, beat 'em, wop 'em hard; We are the sons of Lanka true". You can work out your own rhythm for that. jBiz it or nothing. |
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