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| Sunday, 25 January 2004 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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Now where are those darn spectacles...? by Bandula Seneviratne A common thing that we see and hear about is the old lady or gentleman who searches for a pair of spectacles all over the house, blaming the children and adults for misplacing or hiding it while all the time the searcher had it perched either on the forehead or on the skull. In certain households the old lady and the gent share the same pair of spectacles for reading. It is not uncommon to hear them blaming each other when the spectacles are misplaced and cannot be traced in a hurry, but yet placed by one of them inside their house. Once it is traced, one partner blames the other for misplacing it. Searching for the ignition key of the car all over the house by the elderly male while having it with the key tag encircled round the index finger all the time, is another common phenomenon with certain elderly people. Once they realize that it was all the time in his hand, he fails to admit it but surreptitiously places it somewhere in the household and puts the blame on someone else for placing it there. reality Many have written about the "Art of growing old gracefully", "Ageing an inevitable fate" and the like. The Central Bank Report of 1997 states that the proportion of population aged over 60 years is estimated to increase to 13% in 2010 and 21% in 2005. According to calculations, half of Sri Lankans will be over 50 years by 2025, a staggering reality. In the absence of fast disappearing system of extended families, the older generation are being forgotten except may be the government pensioners who are yet revived by their families for the simple reason that the former contributes to the family kitty monthly and is considered an asset to the family. There is no doubt that the old people are being forgotten and dispatched to Homes for the Aged, but my subject matter today is how forgetful are the old people. There is an elderly gentleman known to me who hails from the hills whom I shall refer to as a "Commode Reader". He is a voracious reader and every time he goes "in" the morning, carries a newspaper or book with him. He sits "thereon" and starts reading, forgetting the nature of his mission. More often than not, he falls asleep on the Commode and his wife has to yell at him to get him out of the bathroom. I asked her one day as to how long she has been doing this chore. She replied me with a triumphant glint in her eyes that she has been doing it ever since the day he retired from Government Service and that she enjoys waking him up rudely from his slumber. This couple belongs to the old school of thought and their devotion to each other is beyond comparison. Category Many people who retire from the Government Service are readily absorbed into the private sector to make use of their experience - especially those who have served in the Police in higher ranks. This category are keep fit fads and never fail to do their constitutional walk in the morning, clad in canvas shoes and white socks etc. Some do not change their shoes and socks for office wear and are found in long trousers, shirt and tie, but still wearing the canvas shoes and socks which they have forgotten to change when dressing in the morning. Retirement There was one instance of a friend of mine who was a stickler for matching dresses - matching colours, shoes, socks, etc. during his halcyon days, found by me one day after retirement, wearing white coloured socks, black shoes and trousers in his office. He admitted to me that he forgot to change his socks when he changed into his office kit in the morning after his keep fit walk, wearing sports shoes and white socks. Such is forgetfulness. I am having the best one as the last episode. A gentleman living in the locality one morning has got up and got into his rubber slippers and started walking about for his morning chores. He has found that he was heavy on his feet, the feet were not placed at the site he wanted them but landed off target, wobbly, the walk was awkward. He also found that the portions of the feet were unusually cold and further he could not walk straight. His feet were straying as if he was after a couple of shots of the "Old stuff" which he has not consumed for well over a week. He was thoroughly excited and informed his wife of his predicament. His wife looked at him closely and with a mischievous smile which he failed to recognize in the excitement, suggested that may be he should see the family doctor. He immediately rang him up and got an early appointment, very much to his relief. He washed up and went to get dressed. When he wanted to get into his shoes, he realized that he has been walking all the time with slippers worn wrongly. He has put his right foot on the left foot slipper and the left foot on the right foot slipper, resulting in his walk like Donald Duck. The doctor's appointment was cancelled and all three of them, i.e.: he, his wife and the doctor had a hearty laugh. The instances where gentlemen due to forgetfulness, inserted both their legs into one leg of the pair of trousers or the underwear and failed to get up and walk has also to be mentioned. In one instance, a gentleman tried to get up from his seat with both his legs in one leg of the trouser, resulting in a fall injuring him. |
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