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| Sunday, 27 March 2005 |
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Features |  |
| News Business Features Editorial
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Nandani Fernando: Striking the right balance
She has always had the innate ability to strike the right balance between work, husband and children, never failing at any of her responsibilities.
Nandani Fernando is an excellent example to both wives and mothers; a
woman's footsteps worth following by the growing young women of Sri Lanka.
Nandani Fernando first met her husband to be at the University of Jayawardhenapura. He was her tutor and as they gradually got to know each other, love blossomed and with the blessings of their parents it culminated in marriage. Their wedding was a very traditional one. She says, "Being a person from down South, I'm a very traditional person. I think that people down south are generally more traditional." She still insists on keeping intact the traditional values she grew up with, running her family according to them as well. At the time of marriage in 1977, Chandrasiri Fernando was an ASP. Nandani was a teacher at Sri Vaishaka Balika Vidyalaya at Wellawatte. She would finish her responsibilities as a dedicated teacher at the school, getting home only in the evening, once all and more of her work for the day was complete to play mother to her two sons Lalinda and Reshan, welcome home a tired husband, and then start playing secretary to him, typing out the reports and notes that he would dictate to her (there being no computers at that time) as well as help him with research, collecting data on whatever he needed. Wife Having a husband who was on call 24/7 took some getting used to at first, she says, though now both she and the children are quite used to it. They spend as much time as is available, together as a family. Though she was the one who primarily held the forte at home, she says she always discussed all that has to be done with her husband, beforehand. Her husband though a police officer throughout is not the strict, rigid disciplinarian that most people would expect him to be. "He's always been like a pal to Lalinda and Reshan. Even Lalinda who is married and currently working in Boston still feels free to approach his father and have a long talk with him. When they were at school they would relate all their daily adventures, complaints, stories to their father once he gets home." Though always at his side and lending her staunch support to her husband, Nandani says she is never privy to her husband's work. "He never discusses work with me. When it comes to confidential, official matters he keeps it all to himself and I don't even ask. I go through the papers to find out about police activity." Working Mother "I think it is a mother's duty to hold the fort at home." Nandani however does not believe that a working mother is a disruption to a family. In today's society where both parents are forced to work to keep up with the daily expenses, she believes what a mother require is a plan. "If she arranges her priorities properly and works according to a methodical plan. there will be no problem." In today's society where temptations galore, she still believes that a mother can bring up her children safely if she only lends them a listening ear and tries to understand them. "If a mother listens to her child, the child builds confidence in the mother and is less inclined to hurt the mother. Instead of taking hasty decisions she should try to understand the child and explain the repercussions of his/her actions in a kind manner." Female security The security situation in the country where females are concerned has improved feels Nandani Fernando. "At the moment there is less fear, especially where night tuition classes are concerned, girl students are more free to move. I think the situation has definitely improved". There is much more to be done though, she agrees. Educating students at school about safety measures to be adopted and getting religious leaders of the four main religions to spiritually educate the people are the first steps to be taken she believes. "The police should collaborate with these institutions and get the relevant units to take proper security measures", she says. Seva Vanitha Nandani Fernando has been involved with the Seva Vanitha for two years prior to being appointed chairperson of the organisation in October last year, ever since her premature retirement from the teaching profession. "I see it as my social obligation," she says. Being a teacher has of course helped her immensely with her current work having taught her a great deal of patience, and to interact with people of all types in a calm and responsible manner. She always works according to the constitution of the organisation, determined to maintain the transparency of the organisation at any cost. Her husband's advice on her appointment was to "come to decisions only after having spoken to everyone else and getting their views on the matter being discussed. And always make everyone feel comfortable, striking a balance between everyone." Her reign as chairperson of the Seva Vanitha has so far been smooth, "All my colleagues give me the best of support. I have had no problems, they always rise to the occasion and help me in every aspect." The participation however could be better; it is usually attended by a regular group of participants. Come fund-raisers though everyone pitches in and plays at least a small part. Their recent trip to ward 14 of the Mulleriyawa hospital was testimony to that. An all female ward, the one hundred or so patients received no visits from their families who had abandoned them and didn't even bother with funeral arrangements. They have now set up a process where individual members take responsibility for a birthday or funeral arrangement for each patient. So wife, mother, mentor, advisor, the many roles, all played to perfection, this down to earth lady with a kind face and pleasant smile is simplicity itself. She continues with her worthy endeavours, hoping to be involved with the Police Families Welfare Organisation even after her husband's retirement.
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| News | Business | Features
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| Produced by Lake House |
As wife of the IGP, mother of two grown children, former
teacher and now chairperson of the newly reinstated Seva Vanitha Unit of the
Police Families Welfare Organisation, she is an epitome of multi tasking.
