'I do', a bicycle meant for two... :

Marriage defying RAF arrest orders

by Lakmal Welabada

It was January 26 in 1956. Both Rita De Zilva, a Burgher lass of Ceylon and John Ashby from Royal Air Force, with two of their British friends were heading towards the Marriage Registrar of Negombo. The youngsters were on their push bikes, and soon they became the first bride and groom on bikes. "It sounds wonderful when I think about it today. But, then I was scared and did not know how my family would react to my sudden decision," said Mrs.Rita (De Zilva) Ashby when the Sunday Observer spotted her at her 50th visit to the Mount Lavinia Hotel recently.

It happened to be the first ever tour she had made to Sri Lanka without her husband. Sir Ashby is no more. If he was alive, they would be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary." He died of a cancer in 2002," she sighed, and then enthusiastically began to recollect the happy memories and moments of yesteryear.

"I was the second of the seven siblings born to my Burgher parents on September 29 in 1933. My father, Daniel Baldwin was a Health Inspector, and my mother was Stella Coomarawel. I was the black sheep and the tom boy in the family who loved to climb trees and ride bicycles.

When I was nine years, Daddy once chained me to a tree, on seeing me riding my brother's bike. But nothing kept me away from all my mischief, and eventually, my father had to accept me as I was," she explains. (Rita was used to visiting the Mount Lavinia Hotel with her family, when she was a little girl, to view the tea auctions held there, a number of times. The 50th visit was counted along with the visits she made with her husband after she got married.

"I was twenty one when I went for a short stay with my maternal aunt whose husband was attached to the Ceylon Air Force. They were at Katunayake Air Force Base Married Quarters. Those days, half of the air force was ruled by the Royal Air Force and the Ceylonese handled the other half. John was an Airman who had served in Singapore and Malaysia before coming to Ceylon. And the Royal Air Force had imposed a rule prohibiting any involvement with girls who lived in the British colonies. And, it was a Court Martial offence," she adds.

Love story

Once or twice they bumped into each other and exchanged the word 'Hello'. And later, John invited Rita for a ride to the beach. She borrowed her uncle's bicycle and joined him.. Though they had no intention of having an affair, the news of the young couple flew to the Base Commander of the Katunayake Base.

"On the second day, when we returned to the camp from the beach, John got the order of banishment, and he had to go back to England," she reminisces. "The following morning, John came to our quarters. I was with my aunt in the verandah. He stood at the gate and waved at me to come to him.

When I went there, he informed me that he had to return home in two days time, and asked whether I would like to marry him. I was astonished, as I didn't even know his age. I was a tom-boy and associating with him as a friend.

Marriage! Oh! I did not know what to say to him. He gave me one hour to make a decision, and disappeared. When he returned I blankly told him 'ok'. Then, he asked me to cycle to the camp gate at 2.00 o'clock in the afternoon. So I did. I was on my uncle's bike. None of my family knew where I was heading to. I lied to my aunt that I was going out to the beach.

I was not aware of the gravity of my decision. Two of his British friends were waiting with John at the gate, and all of us went to the Registrar. On our way, John bought two inexpensive gold rings from a jeweller in Negombo," she recollects.

No sooner the camp was informed about the marriage between the Ceylonese-Burgher lady and the Royal Air Force man, than the Air Force policemen were waiting at the gate for John, to take him into custody. He was put into the cell. After two days, they put him into the ship bound for the London Air Force Headquarters. But a mistake by the Katunayake Base Commander, turned to John's advantage.

The Commander should have house-arrested John in the Billet immediately after John was caught with the Ceylonese girl. But he had forgotten to do that. And John used the opportunity to marry his heart-throb. Taking this fact into consideration, John was pardoned and sent back to Ceylon with a marriage licence.

Rita was waiting bewildered with her terrified aunt and uncle at their Katunayake quarters for John, and was shocked to receive him back after a few months.

Staying in the married quarters for another few months, enjoying the lap of luxury given to a Royal Air Forceman of that era, the happy couple went to England for good, with heavy promises to land back soon, in the 'Pearl of the Indian Ocean'... So they did it... John kept his promise 47 times. He wanted to continue it until the 50th time. But before that, he was called to heaven.

Much prejudice

"John was a wonderful husband. He worked as a Personnel Officer (Human Resources Manager) in England. We had to face a lot of prejudice since I was not a Britisher. Mixed marriages were heavily looked down upon during that time. We were cornered. He had to leave all his friends and society for me. I still have no neighbours there. But John was not a normal Englishman. He was a family man who did everything for me and our children," recollects Rita.

John and Rita were soon blessed with two daughters, Jackline and Eunice. After sometime, Rita also managed to find a job, and made a few friends, as well.

John and Rita continued to visit Sri Lanka. John never stayed anywhere else other than in the Mount Lavinia Hotel, when he came down to Ceylon. His sense of humour, genuineness and compassion had always warmed and won the hearts of all those who associated with him. Both, the hotel employees and employers felt that John was their own, and so did John.

Although his mother and sisters lived in England, he always felt that the Ceylonese (Sri Lankans) were his family. Rita who set herself a great example by leading a simple life. Hence, Rita and John were loved by everybody including Rita's family and relatives.

The happy couple is said to have brought fortune to the Mount Lavinia Hotel. The employees used to call them the reincarnation of Sir Maitland and Lady Lavinia. To commemorate their 40th wedding anniversary, the hotel threw a gala party in 2002, displaying a decorated push bike at the entrance and a little toy bike on the top of their anniversary cake structure, to reminisce the adventure of their big day.

"John loved the Mount Lavinia Hotel so much, so that he even wanted his ashes to be buried in the Mount Lavinia Cemetery, so that he could lie in peace, close to the Hotel," says Rita. Saluting his compassion towards the hotel, the management which is simultaneously celebrating its 100th anniversary has introduced 'Sir Ashby -Steak Sandwich' a novel gourmet burger made of grilled beef fillet and served with roasted onion tossed with spicy tomato sauce, for Rs,370.

The burger named after him is said to have won much fame. "I miss John terribly. He said he would patiently wait for me until I joined him," sighs Rita, who leads a serene life today, with her daughters, sons-in-laws and two grandchildren, while attending to various charity work here and in England.