Preserve emotional energy for living

In most of the novels ever written, there is one common theme or feeling. Similarly, in most of the films ever made, there is a recurring theme or feeling. The same thing can be said about songs.

If you think love is the commonest theme to feeling, you are closer to the truth. However, longing for love, the lack of love, the loss of love or the desire to be loved are the commonest themes in most of the novels, films and songs.

You may be the happiest man on earth. But can you say "yes" to the following questions?

Are you healthy?

Are you admired by the opposite sex?

Do you enjoy social recognition and status?

Do you crave for physical beauty and youth?

Do you want to be popular?

Do you lead a comfortable life?

If you can say "yes" to all the above questions, you may be the happiest person on earth. However, how many of us can do so? When you are talking of loneliness you cannot forget the lyrics of a song sung by the Beatles:

"All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people,

Where do they all belong?"

We have experienced loneliness at some stage in our lives. When you are deserted by loved ones, you feel lonsome. But that is a very clear example. Suppose you write an article to a newspaper or magazine which is not read by anybody, you feel lonely.

Similarly, if a monk delivers a dhammadesana to a crowd of people who are sleeping, he feels lonely. When we visit certain uninhabited places, we feel lonely. Then there are particular things, such as a dead man's pair of spectacles, which gives us a kind of lonely feeling. And you may have seen a woman waiting for her husband's return from captivity, with loneliness on her face.

That means we have seen loneliness in relation to some people, places and objects. But you cannot see loneliness itself and you cannot reach out and touch it with your fingers.

Once an international school teacher asked her students to collect pictures of people with expressions of hate, joy, sorrow, loneliness, surprise and boredom. They were also asked to identify the emotion on the back of the picture.

Most students produced pictures of actors and actresses to show the emotion of joy. One student brought a picture of Prabhakaran with the word "Hate" written on its back. Another student produced a picture of an old man looking through the gate of a Home for the Aged waiting for someone who would turn up to see him.

For loneliness, one bright student brought a picture of the President of the United States of America. The teacher did not disagree with the students' choice. Loneliness becomes a common experience as you grow old. Your peers might say that you should try to grow old gracefully. But can it really be done to avoid loneliness?

In the first place, if you are willing to accept the limitations of your years in the same way as you accept your inheritance of intelligence, height, or build, you are on the right path. You can drive away loneliness to a great extent if you try to marvel for your age.

Please remember that your trying to hide your age is not going to help. You might ask how to marvel for your age. This can be done by ensuring that your mind and body suffer fair wear and tear. In other words, you must not dissipate your energy. On the contrary, you must not allow your energy to rust away. If you want to die young, try to achieve all your ambitions too quickly.

Many who try to do so end up with a nervous breakdown. If you are already leading a well-rounded life, you need not worry about your future. Age should not be a barrier to your interests in life.

Gardening, music, reading and painting can keep you occupied, sometimes gainfully. If you are interested in learning a new language, try to do so even at the age of 70. Some time ago, there was a law student who was past 75. he passed all his examinations creditably and practised as an attorney for a decade or so until he died due to natural causes.

In fact, much can be achieved by simplifying your life. Pope John XXIII in his "Journal of a Soul" wrote, "I must strip my vines of all useless foliage and concentrate on what is truth, justice and charity," As you grow old you will clearly perceive the dignity in thought, conduct and speech in their proper perspective.

The great scientist Albert Einstein has been admired for his childlike simplicity. Philosopher Albert Schweitzer is also noted for his "reverence for life."

In this modern world most of us are leading utterly confused lives. At times we do not know what we really need. Have you heard of a bright student who qualified herself as a lawyer and then moved to study accountancy. Not stopping there she later took a great interest in homeopathy! You may have come across many such people who are leading chaotic lives.

People who run in circles eternally with their mobile phones ringing fail to see that they are putting premium on simplicity. The ultimate effect would be loneliness, however much they could earn.

All feelings, including loneliness, have to run their natural course. This takes emotional energy - something we do not have an unlimited supply of. When you lose your mother, for instance, you cannot be expected to perform well in your job - for a while.

You have to grieve over your mother's death and then your energies will come back in plenty. Therefore, it is futile to use your emotional energy to push away unpleasant feelings like boredom. Simply let it pass. Otherwise you will have very little energy left for life itself.