The concept of hospitality

"Let me live in my house by the side of the road, where the race of men go by. They are good, they are bad; they are weak, they are strong; wise, foolish, - so am I. Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat, or hurl the cynic's ban? Let me live in my house by the side of the road, and be a friend to man."

Sam Walter Foss. American author, and poet. From: 'House by the Side of the Road'.

Hospitality is the spirit, practice, or act of being hospitable: Disposed to behave in a warm manner or to entertain with generous kindness; and figuratively, to be very receptive. Hence, hospitality is the relationship between guest and host, or the act or practice of being hospitable. Specifically, this includes the reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space between a stranger, and self; where the stranger can enter the home; become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. A compassionate open home is part of a human beings responsibility and should be, practised up to the level of one's capacity. True hospitality is marked by, an open response to the dignity of each, and every person. In fact, hospitality should have no other nature than love.

People of different nations have over time, evolved certain ethics in the practice of hospitality. Cultures and subcultures vary in the extent to which people show hospitality to strangers as opposed to friends or members of one's in-group. For instance, in India, hospitality is, based on the principle, Atithi Devo Bhava, meaning: "the guest is god." From this stems the Indian approach of graciousness towards guests at home, and in all social situations.

Similarly, the Pakhtun people of South-Central Asia, pre-dominant in all provinces of Afghanistan, and the northern part of Pakistan, have a strong code of hospitality. They are a people characterised by their use of an ancient set of ethics, the first principle of which is Milmastiya or Hospitality. The general area of Pakhtunistan is also nicknamed The Land of Hospitality. In the West today, hospitality is more associated with etiquette and entertainment. However, it still involves showing respect for one's guests, providing for their needs, and treating them as equals. In Japan, hospitality is exemplified by the saying: "In the cherry blossom's shade there's no such thing as a stranger" - Kobayashi Issa, who was a Japanese poet and lay Buddhist priest known for his haiku poems and journals. He is better known simply as, Issa - a pen name meaning Cup-of-tea.

Phenomenon

Hospitality as a cultural norm or value is an established sociological phenomenon. To the ancient Greeks, hospitality was a divine right. The host was, according to tradition, expected to make sure that the needs of his guests were, seen to in a manner pleasing to the guest. The ancient Greek term xenia, or theoxenia when a god was involved, expressed this ritualised guest-friendship relation. In Greek society, a person's ability to abide the laws of hospitality determined nobility and social standing. The Celtic societies also valued the concept of hospitality, especially in terms of protection. A host who granted a person's request for refuge, was expected not only to provide food and shelter to his or her guest; but also to make sure that they did not come to harm while under their care. In modern times, hospitality has been replaced by the hospitality trade which has turned it into an art. However, when hospitality becomes an art, it loses its very soul. In this age of the pursuit of self-gratification, and self-indulgence; genuine, warm, hospitality stands out as a practical example of unselfish giving. The attitude and act of welcoming a stranger into our lives as well as our homes may bear eternal fruit and that is why the Bible says: Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers; for by doing that, some have entertained angels without knowing it.

From time immemorial, Sri Lanka and its peoples are renowned for their cheer, cordiality, friendliness, sociability, warmth, and welcoming nature: in short, hospitality. Though many a nations are famed, likewise; there is something unthinkably pleasing about the hospitality of the Srilankan peoples. Even in the face of adversity, they keep smiling. We welcome all with the greeting Ayubowan, derived from the Sanskrit Aiyushman Bhava meaning: long life or live long; and wish the same, when they exit. There is an emanation from the Sri Lankan people's hearts when they are hospitable, which cannot be described, but it is immediately felt, and puts even a stranger at once at his or her ease.

Common

There was a time when no one in this nation ever begged, for the houses of all are common to all; and they consider liberality and hospitality amongst the first virtues. We considered it a sin against hospitality, to open our doors and darken our countenance. Till nigh, there was never a house: be it palatial or a hut, rich or poor, in the city or village; that let a guest, stranger or acquaintance, friend or foe, go by without being hosted - simple or lavish it be. I can say with no hesitation that, howsoever hard the times may have become, this habit of ours, has not changed much. But, like many other virtues, hospitality is practiced in its perfection more by the poor, than the rich. If, the rich did their share; how much would, the woes of this world be lightened!

To be hospitable is to take people into the space that is our lives and our minds and our hearts and our work and our efforts. Hospitality is the way we come out of ourselves. It is the first step towards dismantling the barriers of the world. Hospitality is the way we turn a prejudiced world around, one heart at a time. Let not the emphasis of hospitality lie in bed and board; but let truth and love and honour and courtesy flow in our hospitality; and in all our deeds.

I would like to end this with a quote from Hugh Miller: "It is an excellent circumstance that hospitality grows best where it is most needed. In the thick of men, it dwindles and disappears like fruit in the thick of a wood; but where people are planted sparsely, it blossoms and matures, like apples on a standard or an espalier.

It flourishes where the inn and lodging-house cannot exist."

See you this day next week. Until then, keep thinking; keep laughing. Life is mostly about these two activities.

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