Point of view: Why age matters in a marriage?

Marriage is the legal relationship between a husband and a wife. They offer the whole of their self, body, mind and feelings to each other. In our society the age difference between a man and wife matters a lot. Husbands should be older than their wives, is the contention that is held. It is an accepted fact.

So......when it comes to marriage, adults want young girls married to boys older to them because they think it always fulfil the expectations of both parties and also society. Most of the time it works well. I think age difference can make a huge change in a marital relationship.

You will wonder how and why age difference matters in a relationship! The same age is not ideal for a long lasting marriage. But it always leads to a great for a friendship. In a marital relationship, friendship is one of the most important things. But as times goes on.... it may change in a different way.

Specially in our culture, it doesn't work out well, because most of the time when the years go by, the physical appearance of the women may change rapidly, more than the man's. This will definitely lead to many problems. They think or sometimes pretend to be happy but are not genuinely happy.

They always have a feeling of insecurity. If you face such a situation, you may always complain to your partner about their behaviour and force them to do what you like.

Then both of you will stuck in unanswered questions and nagging doubts which cannot be solved or cured. If you don't have the feeling of trust or not sure about your partner, that means you lack confidence. It makes you uncertain about your partner's words. You always wonder whether they are cheating you. Sometimes you even force yourself to check them out. Then you will regret later, about your decisions.

Relationships with a bigger age difference would also not be suitable for a marriage. It will end up in more tension, and also there is a bigger chance for clash of views of both partners. In such marriages where the husband is older and more mature and wife is younger and is immature.

This will definitely lead to a clash in the relationship. If the wife is older than the husband, some problems will arise in that kind of relationship too. So....same age and huge age difference... will affect the success of marriage.

That's why you should select the best age range suitable for a smooth and a peaceful marriage life. So in my opinion the perfect age difference is when the wife is five years younger than her husband. It always works out well because there is not a big difference in their attitudes, as both have the same experience in life.

You can learn about life from each other and it will make you a better person than you were before. Actually, such people experience a real feeling of strength and mutual understanding. Gradually, you begin to experience a relationship with love, trust, calmness and security. Then the partner feels that trust, and it makes both even more trustworthy. When you have trust you are warmed by each other's presence even if both are not together.

You always love to be with your partner; but near or far, no matter where, both can communicate with the minds. You don't have to worry. In such marriages there is understanding, appreciating and respecting each other's beliefs and ideas because there is not much difference in the maturity level of both partners.

Sometimes....relationships with those of the same age or big age difference may go on well. But... in our society, it rarely happens. It has been proved and accepted that five years age difference is the best. Most of the time this has worked out well comparing to other age differences.

Finally, one should think about two special things before starting any kind of relationships. First is that both should be mature enough to understand about life's ups and downs and be able to handle the relationship.

The other thing is both partners should discuss the problems which can occur in future and come to a decision without single doubt. So...be realistic. Try to choose your partner correctly with a perfect age difference because you have to live your whole life with him or her. Think about the problems and obstacles you'll have to face while maintaining your selected relationship. So think twice! choose the best!

Prepared by T. Achini N. Samaranayake.