Center of attraction !

Now let's be honest. Very few of us are going to see our names up there in the lights, except in our dreams. But does that matter? All you have to do is figure out what you want to do with your life and then do it better than anyone else out there.

All of us have fantasised about being the head-turner, the one who is always surrounded by attentive people, the one who is always clearly in charge of her life, that we are the belle of the ball, regardless of what and where the ball may be.

We have to start with a fundamental fact - stars are made, not born. Remember this. And, anyone of us can become a star if we work towards it. However, we need to follow some basic rules. Start now. It's never too late. So, are you ready to take on?

Find out whatever it is that you are good at. That done, commit all your energy and time to it and enjoy doing it. How do you find out? Completely honest self-appraisals and inputs from detached, well meaning, intelligent others would be the cornerstones of this process.

Don't fake a talent you don't have or struggle with whatever choices you have made so far because it will remain just that - a struggle. That way, forget about being the star of your life, you'll be lucky if you even feel like an extra.

This corollary to rule one says you have to ask. Ask friends, mentors and close family members, and you will get some very insightful perspectives about yourself from them.

A certain girl reached a crossroads in her life. She was struggling with the corporate thing and was making herself miserable in the process. So she figured out she had nothing to lose and e-mailed all, asking for a frank appraisal based on a few questions which went like this:

1. What are my best qualities?

2. What are my worst qualities?

3. Is my present career choice in alignment with 1 or 2?

4. If you could choose a career for me, what would it be?

The answer to questions 3 was 2, and virtually all of us agreed that she was a complete outdoor girl, environmentally obsessive and green-thumbed.

To cut a long story short, she jumped out of the corporate safety net, took the plunge, and today, she runs among the most successful, environmentally safe nurseries I know of and is on her way to making a mini fortune. One more happy star of her own life script.

Think and plan success. It may not happen tomorrow or even next year. But in a three to five-year span? Absolutely. Just be patient and steadily work towards it. Make the time-bound plan reasonable, and then work on it.

Every skill and contact used constructively, every task accomplished well, goes to make you # 1. Don't be afraid to fail.

If anyone tells you that they have gone through life without failures, then just say hello to the world's biggest liar. Just accept that we have a democratic right to make a mess, that messes can be cleaned up, and that we have to get up, dust the dust off so to speak, and get on with it.

Seek the spotlight the right way. But that, I mean assertively and with self-assurance. Be a physical presence stand straight, dress well, treat every social occasion as an opportunity.

Choose your words wisely but say them! Being entertaining and self-confident means you'll get invited back again. Remember this is not just about partying, you just might meet that investor who wants to back your start-up or a kindred soul who is willing to partner you in the venture you have in mind.

A few stipulations to keep in mind - don't claim to have degrees you don't have, or to have read books you haven't. Do keep in touch with the wider world around you, not just your little pond of activity.

And when you are chilling out with your friends, do only that. You'll lose them very rapidly if you are seen to be exploiting your personal relationships for fame or glory. Seek help, don't take undue advantage of friends.

Be nice to people wherever you are on the ladder, especially when going up. Today's assistant could be tomorrow's boss, or the take-over tycoon the day after tomorrow.

In any case, whether you are just gathering steam in the role of your life, or have garnered the plaudits and the goodies, observing these rules of the game means the script will remain in your control.

Sure, a few adjustments will be necessary, a few dents are par for the course, a few falls and missed cues are an inherent job hazard, but in the end, you'll be right out there where you want to be, with the spotlights fixed unwaveringly on you!