Bitter Criticisms

"If you want to gather honey," said Dale Carnegie, "don't kick over the beehive." Criticism is ineffectual and kind of obliteration of a person's pristine pride by which his offensiveness drives him towards to justifying himself.

It harms the person's feeling of importance and arouses vexation, which may lead to bitter disagreements, disappointment or quarrels because unlike computers human beings are engrossed with emotions, sensations and perceptions. Human being by his very nature is tempted to justify himself by any means.

People don't kick a dead dog

Exalted people are always subjected to criticisms.Jealousy and weak minded people always try to criticise those who are above them, those who have more talents than them and those who have achieved almost everything in life.

Those people can't do anything to hide their weakness or lack of achievements in life. That's the main reason why they tend to criticise those who are above them. They expect superachiever's misfortune. Under achievers always need super achievers to come down to their level.

People never kick a dead dog. People don't throw stones at a fruitless tree. If you're inflicted upon a criticism, you've a reason to be proud of. Because you're accepted and recognised in the society and have achieved considerable level.

That's why you're liable to criticisms. Because you've done something which is worthy speaking and considering. But due to jealousiness, people don't like to accept your achievement and try to degrade it.

There are some people who are really jealous over your success. Your misfortune for them is a good fortune. Successful people can't be saved from scandale mongers. It's rare to find a successful person who's not subjected to malice or slander. Nobody's busy to begrudge miserable and wretched ones.

Media and opponents unmitigatingly accused and criticised former American president, Bill Clinton of having an affair with twenty four year old former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

Was he the only one in the world who had done such a thing to face such a great animosity for Newsweek to call it "the scandle of the decade? "No, there are many people around the world who do the same mistake but their fault is not publicly spoken.. why? Because they don't deserve public acceptance. But Bill Clinton had his own reputation and worldwide acceptance. Though, the vicious scandals or criticisms never were able to stop him from his mission.

Lord Buddha said to his prime disciple Ananda "as an elephant on the battle field endures the arrows shot from a bow, even so, Ananda, shall endure abusive speech, most people are indeed ill natured.

When Prophet Moses was scoffed by his own people he asked God to safeguard him from accusing Him. Then God said to Moses "O, Moses, I've not done so for myself. I've created them and provided them and they blaspheme and curse me". People even accuse their creator, so they criticise their fellow human beings.

As a Chinese proverb goes "if you don't want anyone to know, don't do it. Of course when you do it everybody will know it". You'll never be able to be accepted or loved by everybody. If you're scared to face criticisms, remember that you can never evade criticisms unless you dig a tunnel under the ground and live in it, you won't be criticised, scorned or condemned.

Theodore Roosevelt said, "The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything". Everybody makes mistakes. Nobody can ever be flawless without mistakes which makes the person perfect, through trials and errors, as a gem polished by rubbing.

You should always think that if you criticise someone bitterly, one day you'll also be bitterly criticised by someone else. Then you'll know how austere it is to face a criticism. Till the person feels the bitterness of a criticism he might not know the bitterness of it.

The art of criticizing someone

It's written in Mahabharatha, the greatest epic of Hindus, from which the famous Bhagawath Geetha emerged, like this "Injury by an arrow will get healed, a tree cut by an axe will sprout again. But the wound inflicted by an unkind and harsh speech will never get healed".

Napolian Hill the author of famous series of books called "The doors of success" advises to think well before speak, because the words may plant the seed of either success or failure in the minds of others. So when we speak let's try to speak the words which may plant the seed of success and increase the morale of the person.

We really abhor criticisms, but criticisms come in two ways. Constructive criticism and destructive criticism. Constructive criticism always lead the person towards success while destructive criticism sucks the goodness out of a person as a spider sucks out the juice out of an insect and throws the skin.

Constructive criticisms are given by those who wish your well-being in order to correct yourself. It can be one of your households or one of your very good friends. But, your well-wishers won't always admire whatever you say and do. If you've made a mistake they will show you where you've gone wrong in good faith and in soft words. Kin Hubberd has said "The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he's trying to skin you".

Swami Vivekananda, one of the saints from India and the founder of pioneer Rama Krishna Mission also explained the positive sides of constructive criticisms. He said "If you can give people positive ideas, they'll mature and learn to stand on their own legs. Pointing out mistakes wounds man's feelings".

Instead of criticising with harsh words, if you can show the mistakes of others calmly and kindheartedly, the person whom you want to criticise will be pleased to listen to you and admit the fault without any repulsion. The person will again come to you to get comments from you for whatever he is going to do later.

As I feel criticising is an art. We must learn how to criticise as unhurtful as possible. If we know the art then it's easy for us to say whatever we've got to say. As gathering the honey without breaking the beehive.

Keep silence when you're criticised without making further fuss or refute over it. If you really want to criticise the person who'd done anything wrong to you, don't at once go and blast off with anger.

Wait till your anger cools down, because an angry man is like a half insane person he doesn't know what he does. He has no control over himself. When you come down to the normal mental situation think at least twice before you criticise the person in return.

Mark Twain always use to release his steam of anger by writing letters scolding the person who rose his ire. But his wife was wise enough to lift the letters from the letter box so those letters were never sent.

This is a good way to control your anger against criticisms. If you're inflamed due to a criticism of someone, go write a letter to him scolding him with whatever harsh words you want to refute. Keep it in your locker and read it in the next day.

You'll see how angry were you the previous day to scold that person with such rude words. If you've scolded the person when you're angry there could have been many disadvantages from which you're saved.

When a journalist asked Benjamin Franklin what's the reason for his success. He laughingly answered "I'll speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody". Most of us do the other way round. We speak ill of every body and speak good of no man.

Yet we expect people to speak all good about us in return. As you sow you shall reap. If we saw positive thoughts in other people and back them up we will be able to reap positive fruits out of them.

B. F. Skinner the world famous psychologist proved through his experiments that when an animal is rewarded for good behaviour will learn far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. His later studies showed that the same thing applies for human beings as well.

Hans Seyle, another psychologist said "As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation".

Don't be dishearten by criticisms

Thomas Hardy a great novelist who contributed to English literature, was very sentimental person. He gave up writing fictions forever due to a bitter criticism. Bitter criticisms drove Thomas Chateron a great poet to suicide.

One of the well-known English writers wrote "Do what's right and then turn your back to every vulgar criticism". How true it is? Isn't that the thing that we always have to do? You've the right to do what's right. Don't let outsiders control you.

We don't know how venomous their minds are. They may appear very kind, very good and very supportive to you. We can never read other person's mind. Be careful when someone tries to stop you when you try to do something good to yourself and to the society.

That's the human kind's born nature that they never like if people become exalted than them. They don't want others to raise to a higher rank or position. They think that they're the best and nobody can do anything better than them. But they may not be dexterous enough than the others.

When the other person attains a higher position or become popular gradually he feels jealousy and tries to pull the bright person down. If this situation occurs, this is what we call jealousiness, not being able to bear the other person's state of being comfortable, popular, happy and stable in life.

Avoid all harmful criticisms. They'll tell you, you are a fool, dumb or an idiot or you can't do anything properly. According to their conscience they know that you're smart and capable of doing great work.

They use criticisms as a weapon to fire you and as a surface force to stop you from being emerged. If you know that you can do better than criticizers, never be disheartened against their criticisms. Because that's the only thing that weak and evil minded people can do to cover their weaknesses and shortcomings to survive themselves in the society by being rejected over your achievements.

If the sickness analogous to your weakness or fault, criticism analogous to a bitter infusion which is very hard and pungent to drink. Criticizer is a doctor who prescribes bitter tablets for the sickness to be remedied. If the convicted is not shaken or weakened by the bitter criticism and if he can use the criticism as a rocket fuel for his success, then the criticizer can be considered as a motivator.

Snow on others roof

People don't criticise themselves no matter how big their fault is. Confucios advised "Don't complain about others, snow when your own doorstep is unclear".

Lord Buddha the greatest philosopher ever existed on earth said "It's easy to see other's faults. One winnows other's faults like chaff, but one's own one hides as a crafty fowler covers himself''.

We are not here to judge others

Everybody should understand that people are born with different psychologies. They are different in their action and thoughts. Nobody in the world is perfect enough to criticise another human being.

One of the scolars said "God himself Sir, doesn't propose to judge man until the end of his days". Why should you and I?

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