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DateLine Sunday, 02 December 2007

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Tolerating that 'snail-walk'

"Oyi, can't you move fast? We have to wait until she completes her 'Snail-walk'." I was wondering who got scolded by the driver who had himself half out of the driving seat of his van, stopped beside me.

Surely he was not targeting me. No. His eyes were focused on someone else. When I turned I saw a woman on the pedestrian crossing, walking slowly. The van flew away.

The 'Snail walker' as she was referred to by the driver was a young pregnant woman who seemed to be on the last days of her confinement. The swollen legs carrying her huge belly couldn't move fast. Anybody who has common sense would realise this.

"The van driver must have been a man who was not born through a mother. Even Ameabas' who divide themselves have a 'mother body'. But not him!" was the very thought that struck me.

"A pregnant woman can't walk fast. She is carrying a load, not just a load but a child; a human being; the future generation," was what one of my sociologist friends who became really emotional over this incident had to say. Many women have had similar experiences somewhere, in some way during their pregnancies. Not necessarily among strangers, but among her own family and relatives.

Being pregnant is neither an illness, nor an infection, but a difficult period that needs especial attention and care from home, family and the society. It is not a cause to crack a joke. Nor should she by mocked at. Whether the baby in her womb is legal or illegal when a woman is pregnant it's the duty of society to protect her.

"What you are writing would reach only the English educated lot. What about the down-rodden ? They are the very ones who get harassed both verbally and physically by their own husbands. This kind of violence is more severe than those that happen outside," was one opinion of one of my colleagues. But still, do we have to encourage it?

"My second pregnancy was a difficult one than the first. I felt drowsy from time to time almost throughout the nine months. So I used to get late to report to the office in the morning. Also sometimes I could hardly concentrate on my work," says Lalani, an Assistant Executive in a Private firm. "My immediate boss was an unmarried woman in her late 40s. She hardly had any mercy for me.

She used to shout at me, and gave me late assignments. When I was not able to meet the deadlines she started to report to the Management. Her argument was that pregnancy is not an illness, and I should not be a 'baby'.

'Megollo babala venna hadanava. Hurathal karanna apata velavak nehe' (they are trying to be babies. I have no time to pet them) was what she said. I used to get hurt a lot and there was hardly a day that I didn't cry. It was terrible," she recalls. "Fortunately, our Human Resources Manager understood my dilemma and I could save my job. Otherwise I would have been jobless by the time I went on maternity leave," she says.

"Our boss refuses to recruit young women saying that if they conceive and then go on maternity leave the work at office would get affected. But I have argued on this and tried to make him realise that getting pregnant is the right of a woman.

Even her rights are protected by the Labour Law of Sri Lanka. But many private institutions ignore this to meet their own benefits. The joke of our boss was that he was one of the best family men in the whole staff. He used to leave his work to any extend to take his wife to the clinic in the evening or any time of the day when she was pregnant.

We cannot understand why some men have two different policies one for their own family and another for their subordinates?" asks Kumudu, a banker.

Giving a seat to pregnant passengers hardly takes place in public transport. Conductors whatever said and done seem to be doing their duty by screaming from top of their voice until the pregnant passenger gets a seat.

Even when getting the passengers into the bus, you might have noticed that the pregnant women are allowed to get in without standing in a long queue. Amidst their number of bad points the conductors and drivers should be praised for this.

"Pregnant women should be given the preference everywhere. Some let her stay in queues near the ATM machines of the banks and many other places.

Some men argue that since women too ask for equal rights she should also be able to face the situations equally. But when she is pregnant, she deserves special treatment as she is raising and carrying a gift to the world - a child..., the future generation," says Ambika, a lawyer.

A pregnant woman is not a rare sight in society. Especially with women getting in to the job market more and more, women with huge bellies walking on the street has become a common sight. But whatever the job she is involved in, once she gets pregnant she becomes slightly different from her acquaintances as only a woman can carry a child.

Whether this is an advantage or a disadvantage 'she' has a womb, and 'she' and 'he' have both come to this world from 'her womb'. The problem is that many forget this once they become adults.

'Mother's pride!' was the phrase given by William Shakespeare for the pregnant woman. Hope our society would not call her 'Snail walker' any more and would give her due respect and honour.

It's a duty by us, a nation who has been venerating our mothers by giving her the status of the Brahma and offering great honour to Mother Mary and Goddess Shakthi.

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