Can we talk?

In pursuit of happiness

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony" - Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness is not merely the absence of want, poverty, greed or any such negative human factors. It is the presence of wisdom. Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterised by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.(link) A variety of biological, psychological, religious and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources; but none has come up with a universally acceptable definition.

Happiness means different things to different people. Happiness cannot be derived through the search for the meaning of life because life by itself has no meaning; life is an opportunity to create a meaning. If we realise this, happiness can be achieved more easily. One needs to understand that happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. Humans seem happiest when they have pleasure. And that appears to be the cause for unhappiness as well. When happiness is tied to something physical without realising that all physical things have an end, it is then that unhappiness arises. In comparison to people living in many countries, we Sri Lankans score comparatively higher on the index of happiness - especially the people who inhabit the rural areas of our land. They may be leading a hard life of toil, but unlike the urbanite who is in a rat race to better his neighbour, the villager appears more contended with his lot. Their inborn qualities of friendliness; concern for their brethren during periods of turmoil; and, their ingrained charitable nature, ensures their happiness. If I am making a distinction between the people living in cities and the rest, it is because we city dwellers are in a constant state of search and pursuit of happiness irrespective of all what we possess. Our idea of happiness seems to be the possession of ever more material wealth and we seem never contented with what we possess whereas the villager appears comfortable with his lot even if it is meagre. There is nothing wrong in a person wanting to have better and more satisfying things in life. Mundane forms of happiness, such as acquiring wealth and maintaining good friendships, are worthy goals in our day-to-day life. But the problem arises when one makes it the object of one's life. What happens as a result is we evolve attachment. We have not learnt the art of enjoying our possessions. We have only cultivated attachment to our possessions and greed to possess more, and evermore, as if life is everlasting. We, mortal men, have lost the art of being joyful because of our greed and attachment.

Attachment

Attachment is the root cause of unhappiness. It leads us on to desire which in turn brings forth anger when we fail to gain our desired object. Anger leads to delusion; delusion to loss of memory; and, then the mind becomes incapacitated and destroyed due to imbalanced thinking. How many of us can accept the loss of a loved one rationally? We are aware, when not confronted with the situation and when we view it objectively, that even if we grieve for the rest of our lives, a departed one is not going to come-back. We are also aware that birth begets death - the only certainty in our life. Yet a sense of loss envelopes us when we become the affected. How come we do not feel the same when someone unconnected to us passes away? Is not all life form connected in a universal way? Then why this partiality towards only the near and dear? The reason of course is attachment.

We know many people who are good people. Yet, we see even good people suffer. Why do good people suffer or bad things happen even to the so-called good people? In fact, most of us would have wondered at some point in our life as to why good people suffer or bad things happen to good people whilst the evil-doer seems to enjoy life. But if we observe closely, we will realise that everyone undergoes suffering in some form or the other. Hence, our question becomes meaningless because we think and connect good and bad, suffering and joy, to material possessions, wealth, and pleasures of the mundane kind. Further, just because a person is good or wealthy does not mean there is no suffering in their life.

If one is to be happy one needs to accomplish things in life. If we work only for ourselves and achieve great things, there is nothing laudable about it. But, if we can help others to achieve their goals in whatever little way we can; then it becomes an accomplishment: something done admirably or creditably. Such accomplishments bringsforth lasting happiness. In short, service to others - without expecting benefits in return - in whatever form it may take, and within one's capabilities, is what happiness is all about. There in remains the search for the meaning of life; therein remains the goodness of man. Real suffering is when we lose our goodness. Compromising with goodness is our greatest suffering. Hence, even though it may superficially appear that evil doers - those who are devoid of the urge to help others accomplish - are flourishing; in reality it is not so and under no circumstances should it become an excuse to compromise our goodness.

In connection with what I have been discussing, I would like to bring to the notice of my readers a letter, a Vietnamese immigrant, Ha Minh Thanh, who is living in Japan and works as a policeman in Fukushima - the centre of Japan's current turmoil and suffering - wrote to a friend in Vietnam. This letter is a testimony to the strength of the Japanese spirit, and an interesting slice of life near the epicentre of Japan's crisis. It was posted on New America Media on March 19: Brother, How are you and your family? These past few days, everything was in chaos.

Dead

When I close my eyes, I see dead bodies. When I open my eyes, I also see dead bodies. Each one of us must work 20 hours a day, yet I wish there were 48 hours in the day, so that we could continue helping and rescuing folks. We are without water and electricity, and food rations are near zero. We barely manage to move refugees before there are new orders to move them elsewhere.

I am currently in Fukushima , about 25 kilometres away from the nuclear power plant. I have so much to tell you that if I could write it all down, it would surely turn into a novel about human relationships and behaviours during times of crisis. People here remain calm their sense of dignity and proper behaviour are very good - so things aren't as bad as they could be. But given another week, I can't guarantee that things won't get to a point where we can no longer provide proper protection and order. They are humans after all, and when hunger and thirst override dignity, well, they will do whatever they have to do. The government is trying to provide supplies by air, bringing in food and medicine, but it's like dropping a little salt into the ocean. Brother, there was a really moving incident.

It involves a little Japanese boy who taught an adult like me a lesson on how to behave like a human being. Last night, I was sent to a little grammar school to help a charity organisation, distribute food to the refugees.

It was a long line that snaked this way and that and I saw a little boy around 9 years old. He was wearing a tee-shirt and a pair of shorts. It was getting very cold and the boy was at the very end of the line.

I was worried that by the time his turn came there would not be any food left. So I spoke to him. He said he was at school when the earthquake happened. His father worked nearby and was driving to the school. The boy was on the third floor balcony when he saw the tsunami sweep his father's car away. I asked him about his mother. He said his house is right by the beach and that his mother and little sister probably didn't make it. He turned his head and wiped his tears when I asked about his relatives.

The boy was shivering so I took off my police jacket and put it on him. That's when my bag of food ration fell out. I picked it up and gave it to him. "When it comes to your turn, they might run out of food. So here's my portion. I already ate. Why don't you eat it?" The boy took my food and bowed. I thought he would eat it right away, but he didn't. He took the bag of food, went up to where the line ended and put it where all the food was waiting to be distributed. I was shocked. I asked him why he didn't eat it and instead added it to the food pile. He said, "Because I see a lot more people hungrier than I am. If I put it there, then they will distribute the food equally.

"When I heard that I turned away so that people wouldn't see me cry. A society that can produce a 9-year-old who understands the concept of sacrifice for the greater good must be a great society, a great people. Well, a few lines to send you and your family my warm wishes.

The hours of my shift have begun again. Ha Minh Thanh PS: When a country can produce a nine-year-old boy who can think like that and we, in this country, have adults who think nothing but corruption, theft, greed, sex, rape, racism and exploitation, you can see how deeply troubled we are.

The relevance of this letter to our dialogue on happiness is that a nine-year-old has given us a lesson on how to remain happy even in adversity - think of the whole and not about the self.

To be able to do that, we Sri Lankans will have to modify our thinking. However, as was Professor Donella Meadows, one of the most profound influences on my own intellectual development, said: changing the way we think is the most important step toward real change in any system.

Until then, keep thinking, keep laughing. Life is mostly about these two activities. See you this day next week.

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