Flexibility, the key to relaxation

The reputed author Dr Norman Vincent Peale once narrated a story he had heard from a ship's first officer. “The ocean is a tremendous force,” he said, “and a ship is only a very small force, but we know how to make our powerful engines adapt themselves to the timing of the sea. We don't drive them relentlessly through the waves; instead, we adjust our speed to the timing of the waves, so we are practically carried along by the sea.”

According to Dr Peale, the technique applies to people as well as ships. We should understand our difficulties and look at them without tension. Then we can live in harmony with God or nature, getting rid of our difficulties without strain.

We can relax only when there is no tension. Relaxation is a pleasant activity which makes us calm. We have found many ways of relaxation such as listening to music, dancing, jogging, yoga exercises, painting, reading, writing and sitting down in a quiet place absolutely doing nothing. Life in the modern world has become so complex and demanding that we have to deal with a host of irritants such as insomnia, fatigue and other troubles rooted in tension. With the rapid advances of civilisation, almost every activity has become automated. Man has turned himself into a machine, working relentlessly to earn money, prestige and happiness.

Although we have devised many ways of earning money, we have failed miserably in our quest for relaxation. Today we have advanced health facilities and our life expectancy has gone up to 75 years. Insurance companies are vying among one another to secure for us a safe and easy passage through life. Many of us are lucky to enjoy the bliss of marriage and resultant advantages such as children and grandchildren who are bound to make us happy.

Peace of mind

With all such advantages, most of us do not enjoy peace of mind. At the beginning of human life, man feared the environment. He had to face hostile forces of nature such as storms, floods, earthquakes and wild animals. Even after the passage of unmeasured thousands of years, he is still afraid of certain forces which are quite different from what he faced at the beginning. Today man's fear springs from within. He is forced to learn how to live in harmony with himself and with others with whom he comes into contact.

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale: Live in harmony with God

No man can live without falling ill or facing unexpected disasters. He has taken a long time to understand that happiness ultimately depends on relaxation. Man needs relaxation for his body and mind. For complete relaxation he needs mental flexibility more than anything else.

When disaster hits, some people simply break down. A few of us, however, are flexible enough to face such disasters courageously. It is curious to note how strong men succumb to sudden blows while inconspicuous people weather such storms stoically. To find the answer we should turn to nature. It is often the big, tall trees in the jungle that get uprooted during a storm. But the willows bow before the storm and remain unharmed. When the storm dies down, they straighten up again showing the power of flexibility. The same rule can be applied to human beings. When a serious disease such as paralysis strikes a proud and rigid man, he will realise that he has come to the end of the road. However, when the same disease strikes a flexible man, he will not be distressed. He knows that even a paralytic can be a useful man to society.

Self-reliance

Flexibility is a safe insurance against fate. With flexibility comes self-reliance and freedom from the fear of failure. A flexible person will not ask, “What will happen to me?” because he knows that he can face any situation in life. We can easily identify a flexible person. He is somebody who can laugh at himself. He does not bear a grudge against any of his fellow-men. He sees the bright side of life and remains an optimist. What is more, he is a good listener who is content with what he has.

Of all the hazards of living, the greatest are the people with whom we have to live. They will have different personalities and we will never succeed in changing them. Therefore, the best course of action is to be a little more flexible in our attitude towards others. If we understand this truth, we can minimise most of our human conflicts.

Today we are compelled to work and live with people who have different personal rhythms. Clashes occur when we are unable to adopt a flexible approach. If we can remain relaxed, nobody can upset us. We can remain as the proverbial willow that bends before the storm and straightens up after the disaster with added vigour.

Human values have changed more rapidly than ever. After the 9/11 disaster, we have learned that nothing is secure in the world. All our possessions can vanish overnight. Therefore, we have to be more concerned with our body, mind and emotions to live harmoniously in an ever-changing world. Happiness in life depends on our flexibility to adjust ourselves to different personal rhythms.