A new vision is vital to prevent infant desertion

By Lionel WIJESIRI

Imagine being abandoned in the street as a baby by your mother. It's a terrible way to come into this world, but for many abandoned new-born babies, it's a stark reality.

Technically, such infants are called foundlings. In 1990, one of my team members came across a foundling abandoned as an infant in a public phone booth in the Capital. Despite a fair amount of publicity at the time, her mother never came forward. Now, after 22 years, although she is well settled in her life under foster parents, and is following higher studies in IT, she's trying to track down the mother who left her. This is not out of anger, but she just wants to meet her mother face to face.

She isn't alone. Over 200 babies are abandoned by their mothers every year in Sri Lanka, and the figures are rising. Most mothers are never traced, leaving their offspring with no name, no parents and no knowledge of their parents.

Abandoning babies is not a new phenomenon. It has happened since ancient times, including Hindu puranic times and biblical times. Except in such cases, these abandoned babies were adopted, sometimes by kings and royalties, and grew up to not only become great leaders, but are remembered to this day for their contributions.

In current times, abandoning babies and the death of such babies happen not only in Sri Lanka, but also in advanced countries such as the United States and United Kingdom and throughout most parts of the world.

The reasons

In our country, there are no firm national guidelines for dealing with such cases, but usually when a baby is abandoned, police, healthcare professionals and social services get involved. Often, the child is kept at a hospital for a few days and then given to foster carers. Eventually they will be put forward for adoption.

It is a criminal offence to abandon an infant, as is cruelty or neglect of a child. Police now have officers especially trained to deal with such cases. Appeals to the parents are made as sensitively as possible, as they are often in a traumatised state and need help.

There are no firm conclusions as to why babies are abandoned. Some psychiatrists believe that mothers - especially young ones – can become overwhelmed by the presence of something that they denied for nine months. When the baby is born, the distressed mother can lose contact with reality for a brief period and may abandon her child.

Often the women can be suffering from post-natal depression or feelings of inadequacy. In some cases, parents may see abandoning their child as an alternative to abortion or leave their baby believing the infant will have a chance of a better life. Economic, as well as emotional and social factors can also play a part.

When these babies grow into adulthood, their mental health may be at risk because they were abandoned, say experts. They may require support which could vary depending on if they were abandoned to die or abandoned to be found.

Often people abandoned as babies show great resilience, but there is always another side to them. They have to cope with major issues, such as not knowing their proper birthday or even having a name when they are left. It is often harder for them to move on than people put up for adoption.

They may feel rejected, but at least know their parents made a plan for them. People who have been abandoned don't even have that comfort.

Healthcare staff and the authorities also play a vital part in an abandoned baby's identity as they often name the child.

Prevention

How do we deal with this phenomenon? What do we do to ensure that given the stress levels of today’s society, such problems do not become rampant? How do we prevent unwanted pregnancies?

Those who abandon babies are usually mothers in crisis situations. They are mothers who live in insecurity, in fear and in seclusion. These are mothers who hide their pregnancies. They are mothers who, throughout their pregnancies, are facing emotional crises and lacking the support of family members and friends. There are also those who abandon their babies in a moment of panic.

Firstly, we have to look at long-term solutions. We should request the authorities and other organisations to set aside funding to deal with the problem. We should look into proactive outreach programs that educate and help in preventing unwanted pregnancies.

Secondly, measures should be taken to ensure that the message reaches out to the women in trouble. Personnel should be trained and systems should be set up to be on the lookout for these mothers in discreet ways. Awareness and a committed approach to the problem would at least see a reduction in the statistics of abandoned babies.

A good approach is to set up a system by which these ‘mothers’ can be dealt with anonymously. Counselling and assistance should be channelled anonymously. Anonymity should be guaranteed.

Thirdly, the mothers should be encouraged to deliver their babies in safe places. For those who are ‘planning’ to abandon their new-born infants, safe havens should be accessible. These can be government primary health clinics, district hospitals, 24-hour clinics and government-run welfare homes. These safe havens should be equipped to deal with abandoned babies. The identity of the mother should be confidential and she should not be threatened with prosecution.

Such moves will prevent or at least reduce the number of deaths of abandoned babies. It is more important to save a baby’s life than to prosecute the mother who abandoned that baby.

Education

However, I think it is not enough if we just focus on this secondary prevention. Any mother will tell you that giving birth to a child can be a traumatic experience, even when she has her husband, doctors and nurses surrounding her. What must it be like for the young, unmarried mother who gives birth in secret, all by herself? Society continues to censure such women.

Some believe that these problems will be solved if only we were more religious. That may be true. If we were all better Buddhists, Hindus, Christians or Muslims, then sex would only exist within the boundaries of marriage and all children would be born within wedlock; ergo, cases of baby abandonment would not occur. However, we are educated enough to understand that this will never happen.

We are all flawed humans and there will always be people who have sex outside marriage. The problem is that this group of people often also includes those who are young or naive, or who have no idea about the consequences of sex.

Our youth should learn about the effects sex can have on their bodies - conception and diseases. Our youth should learn about self-esteem in relation to sex so that they do not confuse sex with love.

Our youth should be told that sex can arouse complicated feelings, and should learn how to deal with such things. Our youth need to be educated about sex, because whether we like it or not, whether we are religious or not, some of them might experiment with sex at some point in their lives before they get married.

We teach our children road safety awareness. We teach them how to count, how to read, how to write. We teach our children to be wary of strangers. We teach our children all sorts of things to make sure that they are ready for the world. Yet as a nation and a society, we continually fail our children because we do not equip them with the vital knowledge about their own bodies. We leave our children to discover these things for themselves, by themselves.

Sometimes we’re lucky and nothing untoward happens. Sometimes it ends with a baby; with shame and stigma for the mother. Sometimes it ends with a dead baby and a mother with a destroyed life.