The joy of being grandparents

Most people in Asian countries are fortunate enough to have grandparents in their midst. In the extended family grandparents play a pivotal role. Grandchildren and their parents always look up to grandparents whenever they find themselves in a trouble spot. Maintaining grandparents in their old age was never a problem for families especially in India and Sri Lanka. In the past there were large families with five to 10 children and grandparents also lived with them in harmony.

After more than five million years of evolution most people have begun to get rid of their grandparents. Even those who have the means to look after aged parents discard some of the most beautiful aspects of being humans. Dumping grandparents in homes for the aged is just one of them. If you walk into any of these homes, you will see how old folks spend the evening of their lives without seeing their loved ones.

The people whom the sons and daughters find it hard to understand are the fathers and mothers, but young people can get on very well with the grandfathers and grandmothers.                                   - Simeon Strunsky

All human beings wish to love and be loved by others. Parents love their children immensely and their

love is reciprocated. However, when children become adults and have their own families, they want to get rid of their old parents and grandparents. Those who have the means send their old parents and grandparents to old folks’ homes and those who cannot afford to do so leave their aged parents and grandparents on the roadside. Some of the old men and women who live on the streets have a tale of woe to tell. They suffer in silence awaiting the inevitable death.

Tradition

The tradition of looking after one's parents and grandparents is engraved in the human race. No other known animal on earth seems to do so. Similarly, the tradition of grandparents playing an important role in bringing up children is another universal trend found only among human beings. From the day when people decided to marry and live together, the practice of looking after grandparents would have evolved.

Those who are fortunate to have become grandparents know that they are symbols of wisdom. Even if they have had no access to modern education or technology, they have learnt many things through experience. They are generally experts to give advice to grandchildren. Grandparents usually tell us what to do and what not to do. They remind us that the real values in life are kindness, compassion and empathy. While we hanker after wealth, they stop us on our tracks and say, “Look, it's no good amassing wealth. Lead a simple life and follow your conscience.”

The communication revolution has turned the whole world into a global village. While globalisation and modernisation have their own merits, we seem to be losing contact with our grandparents. Most children take their grandparents for granted. Grandparents do not demand monetary help except when they fall ill. They do not ask for rich food or extraordinary comforts. However, they yearn for love and respect. When they are neglected grandparents become unhappy and morose.

Spirituality

When people become spiritually bankrupt, they tend to ill-treat their grandparents. Most of them follow their religions without absorbing the essence of the great religious teachers’ doctrine. If anyone attends a place of religious worship after dumping their grandparents in a home for the aged, there is something radically wrong with their thinking.

The loss of respect for grandparents shows that the norms that moulded intimate relationships have been restructured in fundamental ways in recent decades. Traditional values have eroded as people have increasingly embraced more individualistic values. These are foreboding signs that the extended family is in a period of transition, creating new adjustments and challenges for modern families. If this trend is not arrested, all of us will lose the joy of being grandparents.