Elders Day on October 1 :

Remembering the elderly

by Kalakeerthi Edwin Ariyadasa

“Yet somehow our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or be deserted by them, for, the test of a civilisation is in the way that it cares for its helpless members.”

Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973) US
Novelist - Nobel Laureate

In its span of 68 long years, the UN has set in motion a whole series of global initiatives to alert the world community to its inescapable obligation to care for the under-privileged, the marginalised, the vulnerable and the endangered among us.

Even if this august global organisation did not achieve anything else, its sustained concern for these excluded, neglected and over-looked human groups, would, by itself amply justify UN's 68-year existence. This is because such a focussed preoccupation with the fate of the under-privileged is universally and centrally human.

It was by a demographic alarm that the UN was nudged into action in the first instance to formulate measures to counter the formidable challenges that many of the older people in the world were forced to face.

The proportion of older people in the population worldwide began doubling. High birth rates and high death rates in the human population yielded place to low birth rates and low death rates. The cumulative effect of all this is a rapidly ageing population with all its concomitants.

The bread-winner segments of the population began to diminish while the dependent elderly component continued to burgeon.

The UN recognised the demographic trend early and responded to it speedily. The UN convened the just World Assembly on Ageing, in 1982. Implicit in the UN moves is not only a humanitarian urge towards the Elderly, but also and attitude of recognising the need to be grateful to this human group.

In any theatre of human existence most of the elderly persons in that community arrive at that age level after fulfilling an extensive series of duties. They would have headed families. Invariably they would have raised children. As part of the process of reaching old age they would have performed numerous social duties.

Wisdom

Over and above all that these ageing members of the human kind become mobile repositories of accumulated wisdom and variegated experiences that those in the younger age-range cannot buy in a monetary transaction.

In ancient Sri Lanka, the Elders were elevated to the stature of communal consultants. The younger persons sought their assistance to decide what is proper and traditionally hallowed. They would arbitrate group dissidence and decree the proper course of action. The community abides by that ruling. These elderly persons of practical wisdom were described in ancient inscriptions as adaviye atadena (The eighth wise men of the settlement).

Until fairly recent times, the Elders of a family assumed the role of cultural instructors to their grand children. They narrated tales-guided the moral evolution of their young charges.

In Sri Lanka's rural sector the ageing members of a village received veneration. This has in recognition to their contribution to the community.

In recent years economic stresses have marred on many an occasion the sacred ties between generations. Younger people unable to support their ageing parents and other relations tend at times to develop a resentment towards them. There have been harrowing stories of aged relations who had suffered the cruelties of their relations in the younger generations.

Senior citizens receive privileges in some societies probably as a result of the UN instigated processes.

But while we celebrate the International Day of the Older persons we should be concerned about the personal morals of some individuals. Some affluent persons though quite capable of supporting their ageing relations in reasonable comfort neglect this duty. They would rather have them in a Home for the Aged or in a Hostel for Senior citizens. The ageing parents who lavished limitless love on their offspring are reduced to a lonely last stage, bereft of the human comfort of the affection of their children.

Care

In some instances, we came upon young couples who look after their parents, keeping them is part of their new family. I came upon an aged father whose son and daughter-in-law look after him with meticulous care and affection. But he had a minor problem. He has to baby-sit his grand children. When they were very young, they rode on him, converting him into a human horse. But a sore situation arose when they grew and acquired a taste for in-door cricket. They want Grand Pa to stand for the wicket while they bowled and batted.

In spite of modern and sophisticated attitudes towards the comfort and happiness of the elders in Sri Lanka, many an ageing person has to lead a life of privation. The moral duty towards ageing parents is at times grossly overlooked. These personal morals are beyond national and global decrees. A change in an individual's outlook is called for. They must teach themselves about their moral obligations towards their own parents, how old they may be. This disregard of ageing parents occurred even in the time of the Supreme Buddha. In his lay there was an affluent Brahmin.

He had four sons. When the sons got married he divided half of his wealth among the four son. When old Brahmin's wife died, the four sons came to see their father. They said: “Dear father, now that our dear mother is gone, please divide the remaining wealth among the four of us. We, along with our spouses will look after you. You could live in our households, taking turns.” Believing the son, the old Brahmin gave the remainder of his wealth too to his son. But contrary to the promise, their wives hounded him out of their houses. Reduced to the level of a beggar, he lived on what alms he could get. When directed to the Buddha by someone, the Buddha gave him some stanzas to be recited at an Assembly of leading Brahmins.

This in sum is what the stanzas said: When my sons were born I rejoiced, I wished them well. But these sons, with their spouses, now hound me out like dogs who prevent a pig entering the yard. These beings in diabolic guise called me father. But now when I am old they throw me out. These wicked sons do not give me food. I am reduced to begging for alms. These sons are disobedient to me. Therefore, my walking-stick is great to me than they are. This stick wards off bulls that would butt. Keeps off dogs that would bite me.

This walking stick leads me through the dark, going ahead of me. The stick indicate the depths of the water I have to wade. It keeps me steady when I stumble.When the old Brahmin recited the stanzas the leading Brahmins were infuriated. They ordered that the wicked sons should be punished. But the story goes, they confessed their sin and promised to look after the father in comfort and happiness.I think, this is an apt story to ponder on the international Day of Older Persons.