March 8 is Int’l Women’s Day:
Inspiring change to help domestic violence victims
By Carol Aloysius
Domestic violence is one of the most persistent evils in society. No
matter where they live, how educated, or how high a place they occupy in
their respective societies, the rosy dreams of a happy future for most
married women have not just turned sour. They have been shattered into
pieces by acts of unspeakable violence perpetrated on them by their
husbands.
As the severity of these violent deeds increase, so do the numbers of
women on whom they are committed day in, day out.
In Sri Lanka domestic violence is as ubiquitous as the plastic bags
one finds in every nook and corner of our streets.
And like most other women mercilessly battered inside their own homes
for trivial reasons, by men who once promised to love, honour and
protect them, Sri Lanka’s domestic violence victims too suffer their
pain and shame in silence within the four walls of their homes.
For years women activists the world over have tried in vain to turn
around this rising tide of violence against women inside their homes.
But that miracle can only happen when there is a genuine change - a
change of heart in our male dominated society towards women in general
and empowering victims to live their independent lives.
Change
In this context, the global theme ‘Inspiring Change’ chosen to
observe Women’s International Day on March 8 is appropriate and timely.
Appropriate, because these crimes have invaded almost every aspect of
our social fabric.
Timely, because the victims of these crimes are fast running out of
services they urgently need.
The services needed by domestic violence victims are unique and
numerous, embracing a wide spectrum of disciplines, says Sumithra
Fernando, lawyer, women activist and a senior member of Women-In-Need
(WIN) a non governmental organisation created in the 1980s solely to
help domestic violence victims in Sri Lanka. “All the services and
interventions have to be integrated to provide full and holistic
protection to the victims and also to ensure that domestic violence
would not recur.”
What kind of services are they, we asked.
“The most needed services are counselling and psychological services,
shelters/safe houses, health and medical care, legal and other forms of
advice, crisis centres, support groups, sensitisation and awareness
raising, outreach and perpetrator programs.”
Are there problems in providing them? Have you identified these gaps?
Challenges
“At WIN, we have identified several challenges and gaps in providing
services to Domestic Violence victims.
The main challenge is to decide on the priority of action to be
taken. As the victim is in a devastated, confused frame of mind. Her
mindset begins to alter in many ways. She may restrict her conversation
and initially there may be a delay in offering the services. She may be
in fear or shock. This is the biggest challenge for the service
provider.
Another challenge or gap, is that domestic violence is not regarded
by society as a real issue and everyone lives in denial. The service
provider thus has to break the numerous barriers and convince the
parties.
Any examples, we asked. Let me cite Kamala’s case.
“Kamala, was subject to violence, both physically and sexually for
over a decade. When she informed her parents, she was advised to be
patient as the person who wronged her was her husband. When she could
not tolerate the harassment any longer she went to the Police station to
make a complaint.
The police did not take much notice, and tried to mediate. She was
advised to get back to the husband. Ultimately when she was disfigured
and disabled she was brought to WIN by a friend.
WIN provided counselling, shelter, legal advice and filed an
application for a protection order. Then there was Sumanala.
Sumala was a victim of domestic violence who obtained services from
WIN. She was kept in a WIN shelter together with her two children who
too were harassed by the father.
She was counselled, and empowered. A protection order was obtained in
respect of Sumala and her children. Notice of the protection order was
served on the relevant agencies, yet she was confronted by the
perpetrator who tried to cut her neck with a sword. She escaped being
killed but lost two fingers. She was subject to violence as there was no
protection provided for her.
“Medical care and support is one of the significant services required
by a victim of Domestic violence. Delay in forwarding the medical
reports is another gap we have identified as it inevitably causes delay
in the legal process. But here, I should emphasise that the victims need
services beyond medical assistance as well. They need empathatical
listening and psycho-social support. The medical professionals are
cannot spare the time due to large number seeking their services. This
is another gap in the services provided for them.
Do you see any gaps in the present role of the police and law
enforcing agencies such as the courts in provision of services for
women?
“Gender insensitive court procedures discourage women from pursuing
their cases. Gender bias permeates the entire fabric of the court
systems.
“Law enforcement agencies also tend to consider domestic violence as
a private or a family issue and not a violation of rights or a case of
abuse. Domestic violence is the last on their priority lists and often
it is a matter of trivilisation and negative attitudes. Police at most
times mediate the cases in a very unprofessional manner. The family
counsellors too reconcile the cases without considering all the
circumstances.
“Anula is a tragic example. She was asked to get back with her
husband by the family counsellor although it was brought to the notice
of the judiciary that her life was in danger.
“Within a week she was brought back to the hospital and it was said
that her husband forced alcohol into her mouth and she died. Her death
could have been prevented if the parties acted with responsibility and
professionalism.
“Double victimisation is a major hindrance in victims obtaining
services. The phenomenon of the victim of physical and sexual violence
being twice victimised, first by the abuse and then by the blame adduced
by the blame that accompanies it, makes the victim reluctant to seek
assistance.”
Counsellors, we know play a vital part in reintegrating these
unfortunate women to the normal stream of society. We asked Fernando her
views on their supportive roles. She had this to say:
“A counsellor is an adviser, guide, confidante, advocate, teacher,
mentor, director, and instructor. An effective counsellor is a trusted
confidante who listens, reassures, and accepts the victim and the
survivors, guides her in exploring options and, deciding what action, if
any to be taken. Gender Based Violence (GBV) counselling which includes
domestic violence counselling is not same as medication and conflict
resolution.
“Working with perpetrators is risky and requires special planning,
but it can be extremely rewarding. At the same time it can also be
intensely frustrating.
Empowerment
“Empowerment and confidentiality are the key concepts in gender
violence counselling.
“However, there are some facts one must bear in mind: Many victims of
GBV want someone to tell the abuser to stop, but this intervention is
inappropriate for GBV counsellor to undertake. GBV counsellors do not
necessarily know what is right for the victim/survivor, as one solution
will not fit all individuals. GBV counselling should thus facilitate
client’s own decision making process.
“Most women regard domestic violence as their overwhelming GBV
problem. Once aware of gender equality and human rights, they want the
abuse to stop. They want someone to tell the abuser to stop.
“Counsellors not trained in such interventions do not know how to
respond. So the real challenges here is that the Counsellor’s
frustration in not being able to solve GBV cases will often take them
out of a supportive role and into a stronger advice giving role.
This negates the idea of empowerment. Counsellors should guide the
survivors to decisions and not make decisions for them and not tell them
what to do.”
Is there an effective plan that could be put in place?
“Any plan should include an array of actions and services to reduce
suffering and to increase functioning. It should also include help in
the following areas: social and economic empowerment, social integration
through group activities, social acceptance supportive community
attitudes.”
To our final question on how we can persuade more victims to come
forward and break the silence, she says, “Domestic violence incidents
are concealed from everyone, even from the family.
“Stepping forward to break the silence is thus remarkable and brave:
it is a statement of extreme trust in the person in whom the victim
confides, someone she trusts, someone she feels can provide help.
“Women coming for help to a crisis centre must feel that way, to
break their silence”. |