tao of dana

Are you putting yourself last?

Beautiful stuff is everywhere. When you're too consumed with everything else, you miss the beauty. It's the slow - or quick- or perpetual- cycle of putting yourself last.

And if you recognize this habit as your own, you have an incredible opportunity to make your life look and feel immensely better starting right now!

I love succulents. That's no surprise to anyone at this point. Beyond their geometry and prosperity, they are self-sufficient. In my life, I've seen too many people who drag, pull, need, crazy-make and otherwise consume other's energy to survive. They have to come first. And you... being a virtuous person...have to come last.

In that equation, no-one wins. You lose, they lose, it's just a losing situation. I suppose the best way to start this is to say: you are not a bad person for ditching crazy drama.

Granted there are so many times where people are in real need of your care- whether it's a child, someone who is sick, someone who is in crisis, your pets, and yes, your job.

While your job, your friends, your family and more may pull you in different directions, if you come first, everything is easier....and often healthier and happier and more sustainable, too!

People who put themselves last - even seemingly out of necessity- have a hard time thriving. An article in Transforming Health that focuses on caregivers highlights the stress of the task if one doesn't prioritize their wellbeing while helping others.

"A recent Home Instead Senior Care study discovered that caregivers are prone to hiding their emotions and, as a result, their health suffers. Approximately 74 percent of caregivers who hide their feelings report fatigue, 53 percent report difficulty sleeping, 37 percent report depression, and 30 percent weight gain or loss."

Taking care of you first is really important. I had a friend land in the hospital ICU after years of putting her entire family before her basic needs of exercise and proper meals.

It was a wake up call for me to stop my own habit of me coming last.

When you put yourself last, you can lose motivation. There's a lot to be said for having your breakfast, too, after the dogs eat and want to go for a long walk. You'll have the energy and presence to enjoy that walk much more if you put this simple thing as a priority. This is an easy example, one I see on a daily basis!

If your morning meditation that is key to your day flowing well comes after 5 hours of work and being stretched in a zillion directions, you've short-changed yourself by not taking the time to put you first before the day started. While meditation 5 hours into your day it's still of benefit, those 5 hours of the day could have been so much better if you came first and centred yourself to focus and feel fantastic.

When you come last, you lose joy. When it starts to feel like the world is a huge obligation with no cultivation of your own energy and talents and interests, the happiness slips away.

I've seen way too many people put themselve last and wind up financially drained, too. It's all related to each of the above. When you feel exhausted, unhappy or not valuable, and unmotivated, that sense of being stuck hits every energetic part of life. Love and money also wither without care and energy. It's too easy to let things go when you are last. They don't typically grow when you aren't cultivating them.

Even succulents need water and sun and love, even though they are pretty self-reliant.

Have you ever seen someone get a incredibly fit while ignoring their fitness, and dumping all their energy into anything and everything but fitness? Did you ever have an amazing relationship where you never saw or spoke to the other person?

Probably not.

You need energy to grow your life.

Putting yourself first gives you the energy to grow your life.

It isn't selfish.

It's actually the only way I've found to sustain and help everyone around you in a stable way. And it's apt to make you healthier, happier and, yes, even wealthier.

Can you put you first a little more in a way that matters?

Even a small change can lead to big results.

That walk in the morning before you check emails. That extra hour to read or cook or take a bath or any way you can just have FUN...

That is all this requires! And it works!!!

Have a gorgeous week!