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Sunday, 13 March 2016

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Petro-dollar prospecting

The deposed former monarch stretched his meager State pension the other day to host a scrumptious dinner for a group of diplomatic envoys from the Middle Eastern region at a Colombo hotel reputed to bury kings.

Interestingly, No Mal, who is currently facing a surfeit of legal issues also sat at the dinner table along with Kehey-liya and Gommang-pila, probably to give some moral support to the buried king! Why the former big boss wanted to meet the Middle Eastern envoys at this juncture remains a multi million petro-dollar question! Speculation is now rife that the hush-hush discussion had something to do with the alleged multi-million dollar Dubai accounts belonging to No Mal.

State funeral gaffe

Vah-Jira's Home and Home Affairs Ministry made a boo-boo last week when it sent a letter to State institutions declaring a national day of mourning to mark the funeral of the Asgiriya Mahanayake Thera.

The letter, signed by Vah-Jira's highly (in)competent Secretary said, "the funeral of the late Maduluwawe Sobhitha Thera" will be held on Sunday, March 13. Ven. Sobhitha Thera, who toiled and moiled to bring the likes of Vah-Jiras to power, passed away on November 8, last year, and it's not humanly possible to have the Thera's funeral five months after his demise!

Rumours emanating from the corridors of power indicate that this letter would earn the home and home affairs ministry an award as the most absent-minded ministry of the government at the annual KPI evaluation.

Flying cows

Gayesha of flying fish fame, who even tried to contest the PC election on the UPFA ticket, has antagonised her first mentor and political guru, Dhanasiri of the mountain of Lavinia. Dhanasiri was kicked out of his position as the SLFP organiser of the mountain of Lavinia and a politico named Udawaththe took his place.

A few minutes after Udawaththe was appointed, the damsel shared a post on her much-talked-about Facebook page to show her solidarity with the new appointee.

This act of switching allegiance irked Dhanasiri who went on to call the damsel Vassi (cow) on his Facebook profile. However, this name-calling gave a lot of entertainment to those who knew the interesting history surrounding Dhanasiri and his flying fish.

- Voyeur

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