Miracle of motherhood

By Kishani Samaraweera

Its mother’s day and to keep pace with the ancient buy yet evolving miracle of motherhood the Sunday Observer caught up with three modern working mothers to glean the secret of their success at balancing family and work lives.

It is a real challenge – Samadani Kiriwandeniya

* Chairperson of the SANASA Development Bank

* Working full time since 2000

* Working mother from 2001

* Two children aged 14 and 12

Why did you decide to become a working mother? How has it changed your life?

I always wanted to have control over my life whatever I did. I wanted to be independent. And I had no plans at all to be a housewife. I was going to work anyway. Even after having kids, I was sure I wanted to work even if it meant less time with my family.

Do you ever regret the decision to keep working?

I knew I would not be able to give all my attention to the kids, but well there are choices that have to be made, sometimes I do think the kids would be a bit calmer if I spent more time with them.

How hard it is to balance both work and family?

For women, sometimes choices are being made for them. And sometimes everything depends on the person they get married to, your job or some other factor. In this society women are structurally constrained. To become a successful career woman and a mother requires a quite a lot of balancing. It is a real challenge but at the end of the day you have to be happy with what you do.

Determination is the key - Namali Siyambalapitiya

* Engineer by profession

* Director of Planning at Road Development Authority (RDA)

* More than 30 years of working experience

* Two children aged 25 and 20

You have been a working mother for over three decades. How would you describe that experience?

When I got married I had already started working. And I opted to live with my in-laws. They were very supportive and if not for them it would not be possible for me to be where I am today.

Did you always want to work or you wanted to be a housewife?

I never dreamt of being a housewife because in our family women used to work. My mother and my grandmother were teachers. So since I always knew I would find a job though I was the first female engineer in my family.

Have your children ever complained of you being so busy and not having time for them?

When my children were very small they were brought up by my in-laws. My mother-in- law explained to them that I was busy and that they should not complain but support me. They never complained. They did their studies according to a time table. And now they have grown up to be independent people which I am very proud of.

Any message to working mothers?

It is true that for some women there are issues if they do not have family support and there are other practical reasons as to why such women cannot work and focus on their families.

But one should have courage and confidence. Determination is the key if you want to pursue your dreams. You need to understand what your strengths are. Once you recognise that, you will be able to live a happy life. You do not have to give up on your dreams because the society wants you to do so.

Have a goal and work towards it – Ineka Cooray Wickremesinghe

* Former National level Sprinter and Sri Lanka record holder

* Chairperson of Industrial Engineering Electrical (Pvt) Ltd.

* Two children aged 14 and 12

* Elder child is also a sprinter/junior champion

How important is balancing work with family obligations?

It is very crucial and also a very strenuous thing to do. But I never missed my children’s school events. My husband is in the tea trade and travels most of the time. Once he was away for six months and I had to manage my work, children and other household work. It was a tough time. How did you learn to balance work and family?

From college days I learnt to balance my studies and sports, because I had to. I didn’t want to miss a training session because of my studies and vice versa. At first it was quite difficult but I I managed. When it came to work and family it took me only a short time to adjust and to live a balanced live.

What are the changes you faced after motherhood?

Since I was a sprinter I used to follow a particular routine. After the babies it all changed. I found it a bit difficult to find time for myself. Allocating time was my biggest problem. Later, due to the tight schedule I started doing exercises and workouts at home. I have a small gym in my house since I do not have much time to go to a gym.

I meditate as well to calm myself, because sometimes it is too stressful to cope with the busy lifestyle.

Do you take time off from the busy lifestyle?

I am not very socially active but I spend time with my friends. Once a week I take the morning off and go for a cup of coffee with my friends when the girls are in school. For me it is very important because it helps me to relax a bit and continue with my busy schedule.

Apart from sports, what are your other interests?

I love traveling. Not necessarily shopping but to go places. I truly enjoy that. When I was young I used to save money so that I could travel. I still manage my time and expenses so I can travel around the world at least twice a year.

What message would you give to young working mothers?

Learn to manage time and do what makes you happy. Occupy yourself with something you like to do. Have a goal and work towards it. If you have the determination, you can do anything.