Fishing for a good catch
Only guys know how difficult it is to pull off that one good catch.
Fortunately us girls don't have to go through all that, we can either
refuse or accept who ever comes our way. But it used to be much easier
on guys in the old days when they didn't have to worry about finding
future partners for themselves, everything was done by the parents
through match makers at the right age, without making them wait for too
long. But times changes and Sri Lankan culture with it.
Guys like to make up their own minds these days. It didn't take much
time for our guys to follow suit with Western countries, with the
courtship ranging from love letters to love emails to SMSs to MMSs,
etc... etc... Sri Lankan guys and gals do their own matchmaking, dating,
Guys have many tricks up their sleeves for getting that right girl,
letters are history, this is the electronic age, SMSs, MMSs and ring
cuts are the style. Someone told me that ring cuts have two meanings. It
could either mean that the person misses you or the person wants you to
return the call. But this could be very easily miss interpreted.
A simple call-back cue could be mistaken for an I-miss-you sign. Or
there's always the trusty internet, emails and chatting are ideal or
even SMSs for those shy guys who just hate to come out with their
Where your love can be measured with the number of SMSs you send to
the girl of your dreams. SMS chat rooms operate as any other on-line
chat room, one good thing is that you don't have to reveal your number.
Most people like SMSs, including girls, because SMSs are stealthy and
gives a lasting impression if you are eloquent enough. In fact for some
it's a favourite pass time. It has been proven as an exceptional tool
against the physical barriers of real life.
In a world where the pressure is on to get girlfriends, most guys try
to 'obtain' a girlfriend just for the sake of it. But getting the girl
in spite of all their endeavors may not be an easy task. "There are many
means of attracting the attention of a girl" explained a guy who was
quite familiar with campus courtships.
"You could try to be as unique as possible, in the hope that it would
attract her attention, you could become her knight in shining armour and
save her from some horrible danger that you and your friends concocted,
you could bug her repeatedly and become a pain in the behind, so she
wouldn't have a choice but to say yes, you could shed crocodile tears
(it's surprising that girls actually still fall for this!) or as a last
resort - guys don't try this at home - you could ask from her parents!
Our specialist actually said that girls educated in all-girls'-schools
But the best method is to make use of a third party, sort of like the
kapuwas of the old days. I know this guy who commutes by train and after
a while developed a crush on this girl who takes the same train. But the
thing was you never knew what compartment she'd get in to.
Besides you never know how many compartments there would be in the
next train to begin with!. "It's soooo hard to catch her" says his
friends. They actually call her 'Sanda matha paa' because she's really
that swift. "As soon as she gets off the train she sets off like a
bullet" complained the friends. Their only option would have been to
station a guy in every compartment!
After a few weeks of trying they decided to put a new proposition on
the table - to take the earliest train possible (6.05 am) and get off at
Udahamulla, where she gets on, and wait for her. And they would have
done it all seven or so of them. But before the delivery of the final
verdict, Chance got her in the same compartment.
They teased her in the most poetic way possible for guys. "Oh! can't
you see the love in his eyes" etc.... But to no avail. "Although she did
smile" said her admirer. He spoke to her when she got off - no doubt the
poor guy was suffering from much held back anticipation, anxiety,
agitation and butterflies-in-the-stomach - only to be frowned upon.
His friends had told him that it was 'red light' from the beginning,
but he was determined to pull it off with his friends who were always
supportive. But using a middle man could have its' draw backs. For
instance the girl could fall in love with the mail man, because she
actually ends up spending more time with him. Any way I hope it works
out for him.
There was this other guy who organized a trip just so he could talk
to this girl. He actually made it look like his friends were pushing him
to sit next to her but that he was quite reluctant. Any way he did talk
with her that day, they did fall in love eventually, with a lot of work
on his side, and now have a history of almost eight years together. He
recommended that a 'Mental model' is a must before you embark on such a
The model should have various criteria such as education, family
background, etc... and they must be applied to the girl. Then you must
'Analyze' whether she suits the model and what the percentage is, and
If she suits you, you should talk to her direct and alone without
seeking the help of a third party. He says money is immaterial and
beauty has two aspects - physical and intellectual. A person can be
altered up to only a certain extent, if a person differs too much from
the mental model there would be no point in peruseing it. But a little
compromise by both parties is essential. He claims that movie solutions
aren't practical in real life.
But getting hitched is never more interesting than in the campus.
Getting the girl in campus is big business, and a whole culture is woven
around it. A Lecturer at Rajarata University and Author of the book "Vishva
Vidyala Bhasha Vyavaharaya", Wasantha Dissanayake told the Sunday
Observer there's no better place for young love than in the University.
"It's not unnatural to yearn for love and even sexual desires are
typical at this age. University is the first establishment where young
people get ultimate freedom, away from the influence of teachers,
parents, laws and regulations" consequently a whole new culture of
courting is born.
Special qualifications are required to get hitched in campus. Guys
have to be young and clever, that's what girls look for. Also compared
to the rest of the culture there are a myriad of methods used for
getting an "ita" (a girl in Uni language).
One is using the "Thela" the equivalent of Kapuwa. Others who are not
so eloquent, use Thelas to lure girls with pep talk. Or there are hitch
brokers who are willing to convey your emotions to the girl of your
dreams, for as little as a cigarette, tea or even a change of
But getting hitched is no joke, this is a long arduous process that
begins with selecting the right girl. There are two types of girls the 'yakas'
(unattractive) and 'toiyas' (attractive) getting hitched with a kiri
kiri toiya (exceptionally attractive girl) is the most difficult. Guys
who are able to get hitched during the second year are considered most
lucky. But yakas are not left behind there are yaka auctions, where guys
can obtain yakas from. They usually do for, purposes other than just
And then there are ingenious trouble proof schemes like the 'Warnapala
theory', 'Walisinghe theory' and 'Makamos theory'. Warnapala theory is
no urban legend, it's been known to happen and it's flawless. Even if
all the 'thelas' and brokers let you down getting hitched is a sure
thing with the Warnapala theory.
"The story behind the Warnapala theory is quite interesting"
explained Wasantha Dissanayake. A guy called Warnapala in the Peradeniya
University had a crush on one of his batch mates. But non of the usual
methods worked. Consequently he made his hide out in the Hilda Obesekera
Hall and when ever the girl went to the Sangamiththa girls hostel, he
yelled out "Aa... Warnapalas it a, where are you going" or "Aa... you
are in love with Warnapala no?" A girl who gets hitched once can not get
re-hitched according to the unwritten laws of campus.
Ultimately she had no choice but to get hitched with Warnapala. Love
is a beautiful thing, if you embark on it with true understanding, which
most guys lack. Some guys do not understand what 'no' means and can not
handle denial. "Love is a sword with two sharp edges..." explained
Wasantha Dissanayake. "which gives birth to ideal lovers as well as
ax-murderers". So be wary!