by Panchamee Hewavissenti

Punch your thoughts in to [email protected]

Apology

Why not forgive me
For my unconscious behaviour
Why you shrinr it in your being
You become boiled up
On seeing me
You are like an earth quake
I came to you to apologize and excuse
Why you don't welcome my presence
Before you here now
You still struggle
To look for a shade
To save yourself from
Incidental rays of yesterday

How many rivers have been flowed
In to the ocean
How many flowers have been
Blossomed and faded
Twenty four hours
Have made many changes
I realise my follies
I am not the same person
Who existed yesterday
Neither you are
My thoughts have changed
Why do you allow
Your anger to linger
Look,
Forgive me
Forget yesterday

****

Human err, God forgives

Have you come across the phrase "It's humans who err, and it's God who forgives". In the very meaning of this phrase contains the exalted quality of pardoning, that human beings can be blessed with. I would like to pose a question to you.

How would you react when someone who has done a wrong thing to you come to apologise to you? Would you blast at the person in foul language or you simply say, "Okay forget it. I don't keep grudges within myself". Which way would you like to react?

The first one or the second? I think no one likes a boiling behaviour like the first reaction. Though we like to settle problems in a peaceful way, when we get angry, we often tend to react in a tense manner.

We should always help others to realise their faults if they are ready to admit and correct. Do never try to kick off a person when he comes to apologize you, instead you can be of great assistance to him in realising his fault. Let the person apologise to you, it shows that person's loyalty to you and your noble quality of pardoning. Dissolve your ego and be humble enough to accept someone's apology.

Do you know, the person who wronged the previous day is not the same person today. He has changed, that is why he is coming to you to apologise. Compare how he behaved unconsciously before you with his attitude filled with ego yesterday and when he is ready to apologise to you today. He is not the same person.

They are two different people. The person who has turned up to apologise today has nothing to do with the person who wronged you yesterday. Why do you need to keep lingering anger against the person still?

I'll cite a good example of the quality of pardoning.

When the Buddha was preaching the Dhamma which was against some myths practised by Brahmins in then India, a man came and spat on the Buddha's face. The Buddha wiped his face and asked the man " Have you got anything more to say". The Buddha's disciple, Ananda became very angry and said "Give me permission to put this man in his place.

This is too much. I can't tolerate this". Buddha said "He has not spat on your face. It's my problem and I can solve that problem. He wants to say something to me. But has inadequate words to say that. He has no words to express his anger just as I have so much love that no word, no act can express it".

The man was looking at the Buddha in astonishment. He wouldn't have been shocked if the Buddha had hit him in return or Ananda jumped upon him. That would have been expected and natural. This is how human beings react. But the Buddha seeing the man's difficulty of expressing anger, felt for the man.

The man went home, couldn't sleep throughout the night, pondered over it the whole night with a great feeling of pain over his unmindful behaviour.

The next day he rushed to the Buddha and fell at his feet, kissed his feet and begged pardon.The Buddha said to Ananda, "Look, now he is feeling so much for me, he cannot speak in words. He is touching my feet. Man is so helpless. Anything that is too much cannot be expressed, cannot be conveyed, cannot be communicated. Some gestures has to be found to symbolise it. Look!"

The man started crying and said "Excuse me, sir. I am immensely sorry. It was absolute stupidity on my part to spit on you, a man like you".

The Buddha said "Forget about it! The man you spat upon is no more, and the man who spat is no more. You're new, I'm new! Look - this sun that is rising is new.

Everything is new.

The yesterday is no more. Be finished with it! And how can I forgive? Because you never spat on me. You spat on someone who has departed".

The Buddha remembers perfectly that the previous day this man had spat on him, but he also remembers that neither this man is the same nor he is the same. The episode is played.

What is the purpose in carrying post mortem examinations over bygone incidents. If one of your classmates had hit you when you were a little child, what is the point of still carrying that anger within you? Forgiving is the noblest act.