Peace of mind
Never let stress stress you:
by Aditha Dissanayake
[email protected]
Once upon a time not so long ago, whenever I came across an old
Reader's Digest I used to read the chapter titled My Most Unforgettable
Character halfway and turn to the next story, bored to death. Never did
I dream that one day, it would be my turn to pen such a story; it would
be my turn to meet a most unforgettable character.
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Pix by Nisansala Karunaratne. |
Bhikkhuni Kusuma. She is the one to meet if you are the kind of
person who is always 'on edge' - be it in a traffic jam, meeting a
deadline in the office or watching the evening news on TV.
If you are moody, short tempered, if you suffer from frequent colds,
headaches and backaches in short if you feel depressed because life is
beyond the limits of what you can handle, it is essential that you find
a way to deal with these symptoms in a positive way.
A few seconds in the presence of the Bhikkhuni and you forget how hot
the afternoon is. The sound of the incessant traffic on the Wijerama
Road ceases to bother you and soon even the pins and needles in your
legs as you sit cross-legged in front of her go un-noticed.
Clad in yellow robes which have seen better days, she sits at her
table reading and reminiscing how twenty two years ago she had pioneered
the re-establishment of the Theravada Female Buddhist Order.
Placing her hands on her knees, bending towards us, her eyes
twinkling with love, her face lightening up every now and then with
unfeigned joy, she then moves onto talk about the most prevalent dilemma
of our times - stress.
Bhikkhuni Kusuma thinks stress is a form of passive anger; anger
which like other feelings is impermanent. "This is what we need to
understand. Memories and feelings and perceptions come to the mind
throughout the day - they never stay but come and go and come and go.
If we are stupid enough to put them into our memory they will come
and go again. For example you are angry and stay angry for a week. After
that gradually you forget it. But must you stay weeks and months to
forget it? Is it not possible to forget it then and there? asks the
Bhikkhuni.
These are the stress creating factors. Your mind, and the outside
world. Citing an example from the outside world she wants you to imagine
a situation where someone is scolding you. There are two ways to
respond.
1)You can think with wisdom: "well he does not know me as much as I
know myself and his opinion does not count." You can also think the man
is a suffering individual and feel compassion towards him.
2)Or, you can respond with anger. Not only respond but store it in
your memory - like a computer. Even when he has finished scolding you,
you will continue to remember his words.
You play and re enact the drama; How many times? Now what are you
building? The reasons for stress. Drawing from real life experiences she
says "When I stayed in Germany, there was six feet of snow. So someone
came and told me that I should keep the window slightly open to allow
for fresh air; put the heater as low as possible, and cover myself with
lots of blankets.
I said to them that they were speaking Dhamma to me." She explains.
"The world is there all the time and you cannot run away from the world
wherever you go. What you can do is make your response with wisdom and
mindfulness.
The Bhikkhuni offers meditation as the answer to beat the stress in
our lives. Meditation on loving kindness. "The more loving kindness you
give to the world the less the anger generated because of the world.
You get angry because of the world but if you forgive the world,
because you have so much loving kindness then there will be no anger.
"In office while at work you can practice when you forgive and give
others a chance". At home when you are cleaning and sweeping the house
add a pinch of love to what you do because after all you are doing it
for your loved ones.
She narrates a story to show material gain should not be the sole
purpose of life: the story centres round a town monk and a forest monk.
The town monk has a beautiful palatial monastery with carpets couches
and all the luxuries.
His friend, the forest monk comes one day and says "you are like a
householder enjoying all the luxuries; you don't put on robes to live
like this. Let's go to the jungle to *meditate*". The town monk agrees.
On the appointed day the forest monk comes to fetch him. He has a huge
bundle of things - his requisites to live in the forest. The town monk
has only his robes and the bowl.
The forest monk asks "venerable where are your things; your
belongings? Are you not taking them? "What things?" "Your belongings".
No, no I don't need them; I only look after them, I don't need them to
live" says the town monk.
Morale; enjoy the luxuries around you but know their limitations. If
you cling to them and love them then, to quote Bhikhuni Kusuma "you are
in deep trouble". She concludes with the words "You don't have to go to
the forest or put on robes, you can still do everything and have
everything, enjoy all the luxuries and maintain them for others with a
heart full of joy."
So, the next time you feel the whole world is swallowing you up, use
loving kindness. Remember, the greatest weapon against stress is your
ability to choose one thought over another. Choose loving Kindness as
you would choose a friend. Make Loving Kindness your life-long Mitra.
***
Bhikkhuni Kusuma
 The first Bhikkhuni of the country after nearly 1000 years, Bhikkhuni
Kusuma shakes her head in disbelief recalling the events that led to her
ordination.
A teacher, a lecturer, a wife, a mother and a grandmother, she says
she had no intention of becoming a Bhikkuni when she was sent to Korea,
Seoul, to Bo Myunsa temple to study Vinaya with Ven. Bang Joo Suk, the
chief abbot of the temple. Her mission was to find out if the
Dharmagupta Vinaya ordination procedure was the same as the Pali Vinaya
procedure.
"I was a scholar and not a nun" she emphasizes and smiles recalling
how fate or karma had led her to follow in the footsteps of Sangamitta
Therani - the first female monk in history.
"I and nine others received higher ordination in 1996 from the Korean
Sangha of the Chogyo Order which is a member of the World Sangha
Council. We were ordained in Sarnath, India, at the very place the
Buddha had ordained his first five disciples.
Afterwards we received instruction and training in Sarnath for two
years under the able guidance of Ven. Pandit Andawela Devasiri, a Sri
Lankan monk in the Pali tradition of Bhikkhuni Vinaya."
Having taken on the task of carrying on the efforts of her mentor,
Sister Ayya Khema, Bhikkhuni Kusuma has built the Ayya Khema
International Meditation Centre in Olaboduwa which she says is the ideal
retreat centre with modern facilities for seekers of solitude, truth and
wisdom through the teachings of the Buddha.
Every first Sunday of the month she holds a one day retreat at the
centre from 6 a.m. to 5 p.m. and with open arms invites everybody to
come. In a world which is fast turning into the kind of nightmare Kafka
might have created, Bhikkhuni Kusuma shows how to find happiness and
peace.
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