Aquinas expounds his views on friendship

“Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God”

Deviating from the series on Of Grammatology by Jack Derrida, this week’s column is dedicated to examine the seminal theological thesis of Aquinas on charity as friendship in relation to recent publication titled Friendship, the most desirable of all goods, Thomas Aquinas on charity as Friendship co-authored by Fr.Dr. Ajith Wellington OMI and Dr. Richard Wolak, OMI.

What is noteworthy in the thesis of Fr.Dr. Ajith Wellington,OMI and Dr. Richard Wolak, OMI, is that they have established the fact that Aquina’s ideas on charity as friendship are as relevant in the past as they are today even though modern society is highly commercialised and the driving force behind all the activities seem to be the unfettered quest for material gains. In explaining the status of ‘Friendship’ in modern highly commercialised society, Fr. Ajith Wellington states, “With the dawn of modern era, man became busy trying to domesticate nature and unravel the secrets of both nature and the human.

He was obsessed with success and discoveries. In such a world, the concept of friendship appears to be in a state of disarray. Contemporary cultures do not give a prominent place to friendship, and the contemporary mores indicate to us that ‘friends’ can have numerous relationships with us; as lovers, lunch companions, colleagues, acquaintances and political allies. Unfortunately, the concept of man loving another man, in God, has today become quite alien to the human mind. Loving someone for his own sake is also not really a quality that characterises our relationships. Modern society views close relationships, similar to the relationship between David and Jonathan and between Augustine and his friend, with suspicion.”

What is obvious is that the nature of modern-day ‘friendship’ seems to be that of trading partners and relationships are often based on professional or parochial financial interest and always viewed even among so called ‘ trusted partners’ with suspicion. The publication expounds Aquinas’s profound ideas of friendship against things such as, culture of fake friendships which have virtually inverted core human values. What is totally absent in those relationships is the self-less elements in friendship. That is, one seeks friendship for the sake of friendship and without any ulterior motives.

Aquinas on friendship

The author Fr. Ajith Wellington has brilliantly encapsulated the cardinal thesis of St. Thomas Aquinas; “Love of friendship sees others (the person loved) as another self. St. Thomas states that our love of friendship for another is an extension of one’s love for oneself. One’s love for oneself is absolutely basic and primary and it can be considered as the foundation and archetype of all friendly relations. The extension of one’s love for oneself to the other becomes natural and easy when the other, considered as another self, possesses actually our same qualities and excellences, for love springs from the precise points of agreements.

The idea of similitude is best understood in this context, because friendship is not a one way thing, rather it is mutually benevolence, or love of friendship reciprocated. This mutual benevolence can only be had if both parties possess the same qualities. However, similar at times, instead of causing love, causes envy and hatred. He distinguishes two ways in which the one who loves and the one who loved are united: real union and union of affections. By real union, he refers to the union of presence where the man who loves and the object of love are present at the same time and in the same place. This real union is in fact an effect of love because love effectively moves one to desire and to seek the real presence of the one loved.”

One of the seminal ideas that the publications presents is the idea of love as charity or caritas. The author proposes that friendship is a good that links man to God and that is the prima good. “Friendship, on the one hand, is only possible with people similar to ourselves and to those to whom we are bound by goodwill. St.Thomas, in the contra, quotes ‘I will not now call you servants..but my friends’.

Caritas

The reason the Lord called his apostles ‘friends’ is, according to St. Thomas , purely and simply his caritas. Thus, caritas, as given by Jesus to his disciples, proved to be friendship.”

One aspects that the publications highlights is the importance of communication between friends and which is divine between man and God according to Christianity.

Fr. Ajith observes, “Thus, there exists a friendship between God and man, and this friendship is made possible by the initiative of God, the superior one, to share his happiness with man, the inferior partner. Therefore, St. Thomas is able to affirm that between God and man there exists a type of friendship because they do have something in common. This communication removes the disparity that exists between God and man to same measure, and brings about some kind of similitude, and thereby provides the foundation upon which the friendship between these two unlikely partners is founded.

However, there is no obligation: God is not bound to share His happiness with man. The Divine initiative is not the response on the part of God to a request by man. In fact, it is offered as a gift. As we know from our experience, a gift can be refused. As the person who is giving the gift, is not bound to give the gift, so also the receiving person is not bound to accept it. Now, in the case of man and God, even though man is free to accept or refuse God’s happiness extended to him as a gift, yet the very acceptance of that gift adds another possibility to man, namely, the possibility of friendship with God. God and man are infinitely unlike partners having nothing in common. But, God, the superior partner offers a sharable gift to man, the inferior partner.”

In other words, the author suggests that friendship is even possible between partners of unequal status as between God and man. Having gone through a survey of de-tour on the philosophical concept of friendship, the authors convincingly proved that ‘friendship’ is the prima good of all goods.

The importance of the publication lies not only in the subject of its inquiry and fresh insights that it throws into the subject but its contribution to the scholarship on the philosophical concept of Friendship and the task fulfilled by the authors in producing knowledge and making them relevance in modern context.